52 Pickup
by Mac Granger
Summary: Post 2x15 story. Her relationship with Maura shattered, Jane has quit the BPD and is drinking her life away. That is, until, a mysterious stranger shows up asking for her help.
1. Week 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor 52. If I did, I wouldn't be sat on my laptop writing fanfic. Credit to Greg Rucka for the dialogue used from the comic.  
><strong><span>AN:** This storyline is totally ripped from one of my favourite comic books "52." I was rereading it recently, and it struck me that I could totally adapt it to suit Jane.  
>It's not an exact copy. I've taken out the fantastical elements, and thrown in a whole load of my own stuff, and the more I write the more it's taking its own shape.<br>**Spoilers:** Takes place after the events of 2x15

* * *

><p><strong><span>Week 1<span>**

Jane Rizzoli sat at the bar of "The Sussex." Her favourite bar. At least until tomorrow.

_"Maura!"_

It was dirty and run down, but she didn't know anyone there, and that made it perfect. No one she knew, and not a cop bar anywhere nearby. Perfect place to throw back another drink and try to forget about what her life had become.

_Jane watched as her friend raced towards her fallen father. She quickly followed, __needing to help. Needing to do something. As she'd watched Paddy fall her heart had begun to pound painfully in her chest. She was terrified. She knew everything was about to change._

Picking up her glass she eyed the dark brown liquid. Swirling it around, listening as the ice rattled.

_Stripping off her jacket, she knelt beside Paddy and Maura. Reaching forward she was stopped._

_"Don't touch him."_

_"Maura, please."_

_"No. I mean it! Don't you dare touch him."_

"The end of my world." She whispered to herself.

"What, you find yourself with an empty bottle, Rizzoli?"

Jane looked up at the balding bartender. "Funny." Throwing her drink back, she slammed the empty glass down. "Keep 'em coming."

Her all too familiar friend, Mr Jack Daniels, fills her glass. This was her life now.  
>A scuzzy bar every night to drown her sorrows in, and a random nobody to fill her lonely nights.<p>

It's all she has. Ever since she'd handed her badge and gun in all those months ago. Thinking back she thought it had to be six or seven months, but she'd stopped counting after two. It was too fucking painful.

She threw back the drink, once again slamming the empty glass down on the bar, the ice jumping up and threatening to spill out. Pointing at the bottle on the shelf opposite, she indicated she wanted yet another refill.

"You, uh… might want to slow down there, Rizzoli."

Jane looked blearily up at the bartender. "Or you could just pour faster."

The bartender shrugged and left the mostly drank bottle of whisky next to her empty glass. He knows better than to push. She was too good a customer and she never caused trouble. Who was he to run her life.

Hollow eyes watch liquid rise, as Jane pours herself another drink.

* * *

><p>Jane stumbled down her buildings hallway, eyes fixed on where she wanted to reach but unable to get there in a straight line. Stumbling slightly, she lands heavily on a neighbours door, a loud thump sounding. "Shhhh. S-sorry." Having chastised the offending door and apologised to it, she steadily continues making her way towards her apartment. Coat halfway hanging off her body, she pushes the key into the lock and as the door swings open, she steps inside.<p>

"Maur?"

No answer. Never an answer. Always alone.

Muttering to herself while kicking the door shut, Jane weaves her way into the kitchen. Pulling open the fridge door, she takes out a beer and places it on the counter. Right next to Maura's months old letter. The flowing, delicate handwriting stabbing at her heart.

_Jane,_  
><em>I don't know you anymore. I wonder if I ever really knew you.<em>  
><em>Whatever we were is now over.<em>

_Goodbye._  
><em>- Maura<em>

There were no more tears left, but for a moment Jane's face crumples all the same. Then she just looks empty as she stares at the note.  
>It's the same thing she does every night when she doesn't bring someone back with her.<p>

Looking over to the coffee table, she eyes her personal weapon sat in its holster.  
>She walked over and picked it up. Staring at it. Contemplating. Feeling the cold metal in her hands. A moment passes and she places it back down. Lifting her beer to her lips, she drains half of it in one go. "Who're you kidding, Rizzoli. You're a coward. Like you have the guts to pull the trigger."<p>

Dropping down onto her couch, eyes fixed on her gun, the minutes tick by and her eyelids grow heavy; and Jane Rizzoli, like on so many other nights, passes out drunk on her couch with thoughts of "what if?"

Across the room, a piece of paper with a "**?**" is slipped under her door.


	2. Week 2

**Week 2**

Empty bottles and boxes of half eaten pizza lay scattered about Jane's filthy apartment. There's a thick layer of dust on the window sills, food stains stuck to the kitchen surfaces, the apartment obviously hasn't seen a vacuum cleaner for the longest time, and the smell that permeated the place was verging on disgusting.

Following a trail of clothes to the owners bedroom, a man in a trench coat silently picks his way through the mess.

Searching eyes fall on two entwined bodies tangled amongst the bed sheets. The brunette is wrapped around a petite busty blonde.  
>Reaching down, he picks up a pair of what could loosely be described as panties, but barely qualified for the description. Shaking his head he drops them to the floor before walking over to the woman he's come to see. Looking down at her, several emotions flicker over his face before a smirk settles on his lips.<br>"Who are you?"

Jane's eyes snap open.

Seeing a shadowed man leaning over her, she quickly reaches over to her nightstand for her weapon. The sudden movement wakes the nameless woman at her side, and as she jumps up clicking off the safety, the blonde is thrown from the bed.  
>Firing the weapon, Jane manages to get off two rounds before she loses sight of her late night visitor. She felt sure she'd hit the guy.<p>

"OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! WHO IS THAT?"

Jane looked over at her bed warmer for the night. The shrill sound of her voice making her lose concentration and just plain annoying the hell out of her. "SHUT UP!"

Looking around in the dark, Jane could see nothing moving.

"Wh-where'd he go?"

Jane ignored… Sarah? Sally? Sandra? Her eyes darting around the room.  
>Adrenaline high, senses alert for anything, she was greeted with nothing but silence.<p>

"Jane, you're freaking me out… Say something… Jane?"

Reaching down, Jane found a familiar looking scrap of paper with a new message on.

_520 Isles Street_

"Um… Hello?"

Jane finally acknowledged the woman next to her. "Put some clothes on." 

* * *

><p>Memory. That was her problem. It was what had helped make her a great detective, and it came in real freakin' handy when she had to remember where she'd parked her car the previous night, but it was a terrible thing when she was trying to forget just how fucked up her life had become.<p>

She drank to forget, and as she leaned over her kitchen sink, last nights excesses coming back up. She watched the watery vomit slowly drain down the sink hole.  
>Showered and now fully clothed, thoughts of last nights mystery man ran through her head. She could've sworn she hit him, but there wasn't a drop of blood in sight. Bullet-proof vest, maybe?<p>

Pulling a cold beer from her fridge, Jane placed it as she always did, by Maura's letter. Last nights note sat along side them both.

"Who am I?" The question that woke her so abruptly last night hung in the air, and it was impossible to miss self loathing tone. "I don't have a fucking clue."

Wiping her mouth, beer untouched, Jane left her apartment sober for the first time in months. 

* * *

><p>Curiosity brought her to the address on the note. Sceptically looking around the rundown area she double checked she was at the correct address, finding she was in the right place Jane looked questioningly at the property before her. It was an abandoned building in the harbour district. Curiosity satisfied, she supposed.<p>

Mystery man breaks into her home, leaves a note with an address, nothing at the address. It all seemed rather anti-climactic.

"It's a dump, right."

Jane spun around pulling her gun and prepared to fire in the direction of the familiar voice she'd heard in the early hours of the morning. Unluckily for her, mystery man seemed to know what he was doing.  
>Grabbing her arm and disarming her at the same time, he used her momentum against her. Jane went flying into a collection of overflowing trashcans. Landing in a rather undignified position, she let out a grunt.<p>

"Is this personal? Or do you shoot at everyone you meet?"

Righting herself, but still butt deep in garbage, Jane glared at the man before her. His jovial tone pissing her off.  
>"Only the ones that break into my apartment in the middle of the night. Who the hell are you?"<p>

Tossing her gun back, he replied nonchalantly. "I asked you first."

Standing up and brushing herself down, Jane looked over at her nameless pain in the ass. He was about her height, with mousy brown hair and deep green eyes. In his trench coat, fedora and suit and tie, he looked like he'd stepped out of one of those old black and white detective movies.  
>Jane narrowed her eyes. "I know I shot you."<p>

He levelled his gaze at her. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty damn sure."

"So you are a detective."

There was no question in his voice, and she hated him instantly for it. With the sun having now set, it meant she hadn't had a drink all day. Everything she used alcohol to block out was painfully fresh in her mind.  
>"No, I'm not. I'm a drunk." She turned to walk away.<p>

"Do I judge you by what you say or what you do, Jane?"

She stopped in her tracks. Turning back to face her mystery man. "How do you know my name?"

In a move she was coming to expect from the man opposite her, he ignored her question entirely.

"I'm hiring you…" Jane raised her eyebrows in surprise. Not expecting that at all.  
>She watched as he pulled out a large roll of cash. "…Two hundred a day plus expenses. First three weeks paid in advance…"<p>

He shoved the wad of cash in her hand, and too dumb struck to say or do anything, she just loosely gripped it.

"…Don't judge the building for what it looks like."

Jane turned and faced the abandoned building, not noticing her new employer  
>silently slipping away.<p>

After a moment or two, she noticed the silence. Turning back, she saw her mystery man disappearing around a corner.

"What? Wait!" She ran after him, but rounding the corner she saw no one. "God dammit, I still have questions!"

Jane's angry shouts into the night remained unanswered.


	3. Week 4

**Week 4**

Isles Street.

A rusting midnight blue beaten up old car long past its prime, looking for all the world like it has been abandoned, rests several buildings away from number 520.  
>Inside sits a very bored, tired, achy and alcohol withdrawn former detective and now apparent pseudo P.I.<p>

She'd never been a fan of surveillance. Even back when she was on the force, she had bitched and moaned her way through it. It was tedious, and she Jane Rizzoli was a woman of action… At least she used to be.  
>These days she just drank.<p>

A week cooped up in a car, staring at a building for hours on end, her body (if not her mind) had more or less adjusted to life without alcohol. Sure, when her attention wasn't on her surroundings it was thinking about how quickly she could get to the nearest liquor store, and how much she could drink before she wouldn't be able to give her all to her current assignment. However, as the days passed less and less time was given to those thoughts.

Sitting for eight hours straight, eyes trained on the same thing. It wasn't easy; and Jane was tempted to hit the bottle for entirely different reasons.  
>Aspirin were rapidly becoming her best friend, and she worried that she might be leaving one vice for another.<p>

She didn't want to be here, but the problem was, she'd taken the money. Throwing back a couple of aspirin, she dry crunched them. Wanting the pain relief to come sooner rather than later.  
>"One week down. Two to go."<p>

* * *

><p>Jane looked down at the open page of her note book.<p>

**Day 9** - NOTHING  
><strong>Day 10<strong> - NOTHING  
><strong>Day 11<strong> - Wino urinated on door - WOW!  
><strong>Day 12<strong> - NOTHING  
><strong>Day 13<strong> - NOTHING!

She wished the wino would come back. That had at least broken the monotony of her daily life.  
>Window wound down, Jane counted the collection of old discarded cigarette butts around her car. Anything to kill the boredom at this point.<p>

"You smoke?"

"GAH! Jesus!" Jane glared at her mystery man as he reached in and grabbed her notepad.

"Nice doodles." Despite keeping his voice down, the happy tone came through loud and clear.

It had little effect on Jane. She threw him a sarcastic grin. "Fuck you."

"I don't think I'm your type…" He replied, winking at her.

Jane glared at him, and watched as he walked around the car and got in the passenger seat, removing his hat as he did so.  
>"…So, do you?"<p>

"Smoke?" Jane decided not answering one of his questions would give him a taste of his own medicine.

"There's cyanide gas in cigarette smoke. Same stuff they use in gas chambers."

The "fun" fact slammed into her. Reminding Jane too much of something Maura might tell her… Told her. Past tense.  
>She decided to change the subject. "You ever going to tell me your name?"<p>

He looked her over. Those penetrating eyes stripping her bare. She did her best not to squirm under the scrutiny, but she still found herself shifting ever so slightly in her seat.  
>"You're doing a good job. Keep it up."<p>

Opening the door, he started to leave. Jane reached out and grabbed his arm.  
>"Wait. You saw my notes. There's nothing going on here. Apart from the single wino, even the homeless stay away."<br>One foot out the door, fedora halfway to his head, he smiled at her. A genuine one this time. "And what does that tell you?"

Taking a moment to process the question, Jane groaned, closing her eyes slowly. She'd been off the streets too long. Her mind and detective instincts obviously more than a little rusty. She felt a warm hand squeeze her shoulder gently. "Something'll happen before long. I'm sure of it… See you soon."

Opening her eyes, drawing a deep breath, Jane leaned out the car window calling after the retreating man.  
>"One more week! One more week! …Then I'm done."<p>

That last part was to no one but herself.

* * *

><p><em>It was pitch black, and the darkness settled over her like a suffocating blanket. Glimpses of Honey-blonde hair could be seen in her peripheral vision, but every time she turned to chase it, it was gone. Footsteps could be heard, echoing loudly. Pressing her hands to her ears gun shots sounded. Falling to her knees in the now empty black, seemingly impossible shadows danced around her. Taunting her. A cruel laughter invaded her senses.<em>

Jane awoke with a jerk, half jumping out of her seat. Bringing a shaky hand to her forehead, she could feel the cold sweat.  
>She wasn't sure when she'd fallen asleep. She just remembered the rhythmic drumming of rain on the car roof.<p>

Sleep filled eyes snapped into focus. Everything sharp. Someone had just slipped inside the building she'd been watching.

"Fuck!"

Reaching for her weapon, Jane jumped out of the car, running towards the no longer empty building. Boots pounding the rain covered streets.  
>Frustrated and angry at herself for almost missing something, after two weeks of nothing, Jane pressed her back against the wall next to the door. Reaching over, she slowly turned the door knob, easing the entrance open ever so slightly.<br>When nothing happened she swung the door open, weapon raised. She was confronted with nothing but darkness.  
>Alert eyes scanned the room. Nothing. <em>Where the hell is he? I was right behind him.<em>

She ran her eyes over the empty room again. Still nothing, then… "Don't even think about it." It was barely more than a whisper, but she knew he could hear her. Eyes glued to the large single room in front of her, Jane heard her mystery man approach.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"You're the only person that keeps sneaking up on me these days. Which, FYI, not the smartest thing to do around a gun toting drunk, who's been targeted by a serial killer in the past. You're likely to lose limbs."

He merely smiled that friendly smile of his.

Sighing she asked "You see where he went?"

He flicked on a flashlight. The strong beam hitting a door on the opposite side of the room.  
>Shaking her head, Jane crossed over to it. Mystery man right behind her.<br>As the flashlight was turned off, Jane raised her weapon and nodded to her… Back up? Partner? To open the door.  
>On a silent 3 count, the door was pulled open. They were greeted with more suffocating darkness, and a stairwell leading down into a basement.<br>Taking the stairs together, Jane slightly ahead, they both failed to notice the heavy box sat on the third step blocking their way. Losing their balance, they reached for one another. Falling in a painful tangle of limbs, they rolled as they hit the bottom. Jane landing on top.

"Jeez. Ow."

"Gef off of me. Seriofly! I canf breafth."

Jane looked down. Noticing that while one of her hands was planted firmly on the basement floor, supporting her. The other was pressed into mystery man's face.

"Sorry!" Hastily standing, she was about to help her partner up, when she noticed a huge hulk of a man standing before them. Staring.  
>"Oh, fuck…" She spared the man at her feet a hopeful glance. "…You know this<br>guy?"

"Why would I know him?"

Jane didn't get a chance to answer straight away. The hulk swung a hefty metal pipe at her. Darting back, she drew her weapon again. Firing off a few rounds. With the poor light and bad angle, she missed. "You asked me to stake out the place. I thought it was safe to assume you knew what the hell was going on!" She's not entirely sure where the man she's talking to is anymore.  
>Her eyes scan the darkness trying to locate her target. "Where are you Hul-<em>URGK<em>"

A giant meaty hand wraps around Jane's throat, cutting off her sentence. While another clamps onto her waist in a bone crunching grip. She's easily lifted into the air, and like a rag doll, is tossed into a stack of crates. Her gun flying from her hand.  
>As her body slams into the top one, there's an ear-splitting crack, and she briefly wonders if it's her own body, and if she'll ever walk again. Then feels the wooden structure give way beneath her, and as she tumbles to the ground, so do a whole host of weaponry.<p>

Body crying out in pain, Jane watches as the hulk moves towards her once again.  
>He's inches away when her partner cracks a 2x4 over his back. The man stumbles slightly, but quickly spins round, viciously backhanding her no-named friend.<p>

Jane tries to move out of the way, but her out of shape body is having trouble responding fast enough. The hulk bends over grabbing a fistful of her hair, dragging her up by it. Her scalp screaming out for mercy. As she reaches his eye level, it's her turn for a nasty backhand. She feels her lip split open and her mouth fill with blood.

She spits crimson saliva in her attackers eyes, and roaring with rage he lifts her high in the air and slams her battered body down on the cold hard ground.  
>This time she knows it's her bones she hears cracking. Her left arm sits awkwardly beneath her as she lets out an agonising scream.<p>

Jane's eyes struggle to focus as she hears her partner charge the hulk. She can hear blows landing, and she hopes that her friend is fairing better than she currently is.  
>Senses slowly returning, she notices she's laying atop a few of the spilled weapons. Aching fingers wrap around cold metal digging into her hip. Bringing it closer, she checks to see if it's loaded. Beyond thankful when she finds it is. Jane raises the gun in her right hand, and takes aim as best she can with her non-dominant hand.<br>As her partner's battered body is driven back into a wall, Jane fires two rounds into the hulks head. His huge body finally stilling, he drops.

Looking as bad as she feels, her partner looks wearily up at her. Jane smirks...  
>Then winces as the pain from her split lip makes itself known.<p> 


	4. Week 5

**Week 5**

Sergeant Detective Vince Korsak hammered on Jane's apartment door. "Open up, Janey! I know you're in there." Raising his fist to bang again, the door swung open.

"It's Jane. Not Janey."

Korsak might have felt a little hurt at that, the coldness in her voice, but he was too in shock at how battered Jane looked.

Her left arm was in a cast and sling, while cuts and scrapes covered her right. She had what looked like a nasty gash on her forehead, butterfly stitches holding it together. A black eye, swollen lip and at least another dozen or so cuts and scrapes were visible, and that was just what he could see.

"Christ, Jane. You look terrible."

She smiled grimly at him. "I've been through worse."

The sad truth was, she wasn't joking.

Standing aside, she let him in. "My neighbours are going to be pissed at you. You don't have to knock so loud."

He shrugged at her. "Answer the door faster next time."

"Hey, I'm working with one arm here. Cut me some slack."

Korsak casts a critical eye over Jane's apartment. "It's disgusting in here. I'd bet Tommy's place is cleaner than this."

"Yeah, 'cause ma cleans up after him."

"How would you know?"

A stony silence settled over the room.

Jane had effectively cut herself off from her family. For all the times her mom had said she wanted her to leave the force, when she handed her badge in, her ma had lost it. Screaming at her about wasted years and throwing her life away. She had stood there, listening. Waiting for something other than harsh words. None had come, and so she had walked away. Since then, she'd only spoken to her mother a handful of times.

Grunting, she reached for a beer. "You want one?"

Korsak ignored the lack of response to his question and nodded his head. "Sure."

Walking away from the fridge, Jane called over her shoulder. "Help yourself."

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed one then settled on the couch.

"Since you're drinking you must be off the clock. What do you want?"

Vince eyed her. "Don't play dumb. You know why I'm here."

"And?"

"And I checked it out…" There was a definite anger in his voice now. "…Me and Frost. Nothing. The place was clean. No guns. No body."

"You think I'm making this up?" Jane was growing angry herself. The volume of her speech increasing with each word.

"The only proof we got is your multiple injuries." He sighed. Backing off a little. "I just need more."

Jane felt herself calming slightly now that Korsak's volume level had returned to normal. "I told you everything I could."

"You didn't say who hired you."

Jane eyed her former partner. Her now empty cool beer bottle pressed to her head.

"You're not a licensed P.I., Jane."

"Maybe I'm thinking of changing that… Care to give me a recommendation?"

Korsak suddenly looked very tired. Sad eyes looking at his broken friend. "Come back, Janey."

She glared at him. Voice ice cold.

"It's Jane… And she doesn't want me there."

Knowing he was stepping on eggshells, he got back on topic. Doctor Isles was a subject best saved for another time. "Listen Jane. I know you're telling the truth. Which means you're onto something big and incredibly dangerous. I can't help you if you won't tell me everything."

"I don't need help."

Korsak raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Could've fooled me."

Jane walked to her front door. His time was up.

"Look, I hope you're right. Because as much as you think Maura hates you. It'd kill her to have you turn up on her table…" Jane swallowed down the sudden lump in her throat.

"…Take care, Jane."

Closing the door behind Korsak, she pressed her back to it, slipping down to the floor. Relieved to have a reminder from her past gone.


	5. Week 7

**Week 7**

Jane stood at her bedroom window looking out on the street below.

Father's Day had just come and gone. She hadn't sent a card. She hadn't felt the need to. They hadn't had too much contact before she shut herself away, and now it was non-existent. Still, thinking of her pop had led to thoughts of her mother.

She'd be lying if she said she didn't miss her. Even her nagging. She just knew that if she let her back in, she'd have to deal with everything that had gone wrong in her life. She wasn't ready for that. Not yet.

She missed her brothers too, but Frankie had stopped talking to her as soon as she'd quit the force. He said he couldn't watch her turn into Tommy. Jane had tried a couple of times back when it all started to reconnect with Frankie, but he refused to budge.

Tommy… She had stayed well away from him. She knew it wasn't a nice thought, but she didn't want the reminder that she was now the disappointing Rizzoli sibling.

Family. Jane wondered if mystery man had a family. A girlfriend? A boyfriend? Brothers or sisters? He'd been in pretty crappy shape when she'd crawled out of that basement, and he'd disappeared before she could do anything about it.

Maybe she'd ask him if she saw him again. That or belt him across the jaw.

He was the one that had drawn her into this, and as much as she'd left her job, she was still at heart a detective. She could let this go no easier than giving up food, oxygen or baseball. It's who she was.

Walking back into her kitchen, ignoring the overflowing stack of dirty dishes, Jane looked at the small pile of "evidence" she had acquired, and all the notes she'd made on the case. The gun from the warehouse resting on top.

It had been three weeks since she'd seen him last. Three weeks since they'd both been beaten senseless. Almost to death.

The cracked ribs and a fractured elbow were all that was left of that near miss, and both were well on their way to healing. Jane was mostly just glad the cast hadn't impeded her hand movement at all.

Her gaze drifted over to the newspaper sat on the counter next to the evidence. Pain flashed, then quickly vanished from weary brown eyes. She reached over and spread the notes and evidence pile out. Quickly covering hazel eyes that taunted her.

She ran her gaze over the hastily scribbled notes. Eyes darting from page to page looking for some sort of connection, or waiting for something to jump out at her. She was growing frustrated. The countless hours spent staring at what little she had, amounting to nothing. She knew she was missing something. The events of three weeks ago ran through her mind. She shuffled the notes around. What wasn't she seeing? Something obvious. Something right under her… nose. "Crap."

Jane focused on the picture printed in the paper. Maura stood between her adopted parents. Her beaming smile outshining them both. Above the photo, the headline read **"****Isles Family Charity Gala.****" **It tore at her heart, and she shook her head briefly, as if to clear the image from her mind.

Jane berated herself internally for not seeing it sooner, and the unexpected, unplanned reunion they were about to have terrified Jane.

She ran a shaking finger lightly over the picture. "It's been a long time, Maura."

* * *

><p>Jane showered twice, did her hair, and dug out the best suit she could find that was clean. She even took the time to iron her shirt.<p>

She told herself she did those things because she was being respectful of the wealth and power she was about to drop in on uninvited. She told herself it was because of that, and not at all because of who she was about to see for the first time in something like 9 months.

Pulling up outside the large fancy Isles Boston family residence, she took in a deep breath, letting it out with a humourless laugh. "Yeah right, who the fuck am I trying to kid?"

Constance Isles had bought the huge sprawling property not long after the fateful shooting in the warehouse. With her newly found relationship with her daughter, and Maura's retreat from Jane, Constance had decided to really take the time to properly connect with Maura. In order to do that she needed a real base from which to work. Thus Mrs Isles had snapped up the property.

As Jane approached the front gate, she noticed security eyeing her up. Knowing immediately that she didn't belong. One of them stepped towards her. "Sorry. Invitation only."

She laughed internally at the emphasis on the last word, and the joy the idiot took in pointing it out.

"I know. Call up to the house and let Maura Isles know that Detective Jane Rizzoli is here."

"That you?"

Jane resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Just give her the message… Please." She tacked on the last word as an after thought.

It only took a few minutes to get clearance. As she entered the towering behemoth of a house, the complete opposite of the subtlety that Maura displayed with her money, Jane wondered just how much the pile of bricks cost. The amount of wealth on display was mind boggling, and whilst she didn't recognise anyone present, she was certain anyone who was anyone was there.

A few steps in she was greeted by a butler. He escorted her through the house and into the upstairs library.

"Miss Isles will be with you shortly."

"Thanks, Jeeves."

Jane cringed at her nickname for the butler. He didn't deserve that. Her nerves were clearly getting the best of her. She ran her suddenly sweaty palms down her suit jacket. Half to help dry them, and half to smooth out any wrinkles she imagined had most likely appeared. She started to pace back and forth in an attempt to calm herself. Hoping that when Maura arrived she'd be able to hold herself together long enough to get out what she had to say.

Looking about the library, she prayed that she was wrong about this. That the street name was nothing more than an obvious connection. The fact that Maura's family now owned a hefty portion of the warehouses in the harbour district was nothing more than coincidence. Another side effect of Constance's interest in her daughter's life. She had, after all, been buying up property all over the city.

_What the hell are you doing here, Rizzoli? Leave before you make an ass out of yourself._

She took a step towards the door to leave, but was stopped by a voice she had not heard in so very long a time.

"**Detective** Rizzoli?"

She wants to say something smart. She wants to say something sophisticated. Heck, she'd settle for witty, but as she turns around, all Jane can do is stare. Maura was every bit as beautiful as she remembered. More so, in fact. Pictures never did her justice.

Jane's heart went into overdrive. Pounding out a deafening double-time rhythm.

Maura wore a floor length strapless sea green gown, and a diamond bracelet with matching earrings. Simple and elegant. She never did need much to highlight just how flawless she was.

She watched as Maura tilted her head to the side in askance, and with that one simple gesture, one that so perfectly encapsulated the woman before her, Jane was undone.

All the pain, all the longing, all the want overwhelmed her. Fighting back the tears that were rapidly fighting to escape, and the lump in her throat, she managed a weak "I've missed you."

Whether she had missed it entirely or if it had just appeared, Jane wasn't sure, but Maura suddenly looked furious.

Striding towards her, fire burning in her eyes, Jane felt a fist connect with her jaw. It was a good hit, and Jane was impressed. As blood filled her mouth she looked up at Maura.

"I guess those lessons I gave you finally took."

"What do you want, Jane?"

The voice was cold, but the eyes…

"I'm working a case. I need to ask you something." As she stood there massaging her jaw, she found her voice lacked its usual strength. Jane was starting to properly recall just how much Maura's presence affected her.

She watched as Maura stood quietly, eyes running over her, as if in study. In that moment, Jane wanted nothing more than to be able to turn back the clock. "If I could change-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"

Jane saw it coming this time. Her arm flew up and caught Maura's open hand inches away from her cheek. Her own closing around the delicate wrist, and she was curious as to when exactly Maura had become so angry, so violent. She wondered if it was her fault.

"Hey. Not so loud. Security will get the wrong idea and toss my ass out of here. I'm still recovering from the last whooping I got."

Jane hadn't meant to reveal that, but she was so relieved she was talking that she had just kept going.

Something seemed to have resonated with the woman still held in her grasp, her angry gaze turning gentle. Her eyes locked onto the cast just poking out under her suit jacket, then slowly travelled over Jane's entire body. Whatever she saw, she apparently didn't like, a noticeable frown appearing. Finally her eyes ran over Jane's face, making sure she avoided looking her directly in the eye.

Jane wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but she stood there, making sure not to move a muscle. Watching as Maura shifted her gaze to her open hand an inch from Jane's cheek, eyes softening. Jane's own grew wide as Maura moved forward, nuzzling her neck.

She watched as Maura's eyes closed in what looked like relief.

A relieved moan escaping, Jane was clueless as to whether it came from her, Maura or them both.

Then as quickly as the moment began, Maura jumped back. Ripping her arm out of Jane's grasp.

Standing a good ten feet away now, Maura asked again. "What do you want, Jane? You no longer work for the Boston Police Department."

"It's a private case. Something I'm doing for a… friend. 520 Isles Street. It's in the harbour district."

"What about it?"

"I know your family has acquired a lot of property in the area. Adding to what was already owned here. Do you know if it's one of yours? And if so, how long you've had it?"

Maura's eyes narrowed. "I don't know. Possibly."

Jane took a step forward. "Could you find out?"

"Does this have anything to do with that cast you're wearing, and your wrapped ribs?"

Jane ignored the question. "I need to know, Maura. Please?"

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why should I help you?"

Jane looked at Maura. Really looked at her. And for the first time, Maura looked right back.

"Because…" Jane took a deep breath. "Because once we were best friends. Because I love you… and I think, maybe, maybe once you loved me too."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Maura's head hung low. Eyes trained on the ground. Jane couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. The woman hated her. Declarations of love, and a reminder of what could have been were not needed.

"Leave."

"Maura…"

"Please, Jane. Just go… I'll look into that address."

Jane nodded her thanks, turning to leave. "You know where to find me."

As the former detective closed the door behind her, tears fell from hazel eyes.


	6. Week 9

**Week 9**

It had been months since Jane had been to a gay bar. The last time being the night mystery man had first shown up.

She sat at the bar drinking her cold beer. Ignoring the advances of several women that would have previously caught her eye... Women that reminded her of Maura. Something had changed. Ever since her declaration of love almost two weeks ago, nothing but the real deal appealed anymore.

Shaking her head in frustration, Jane ordered up another beer and watched the game on the screen above the bar. Aside from the handful of occupants, and the people stepping in from outside to order drinks, the bar was thankfully quiet. Most people choosing to stand outside and watch the Forth of July fireworks.

She looked at her cast. Question marks she'd doodled covering most of it. Moments later a guy in a fitting muscle t-shirt sat down beside her. A Red Sox baseball cap pulled low, leaving most of his face in shadow. The bartender walked up, a questioning look on her face, asking if he wanted anything. He pointed at Jane's beer.

"Man, I can't believe we're losing." Jane's frustration leaked out, as she shouted at the TV.

"What inning?"

Not really listening, Jane flicked an irritated glance to the guy. "You do realise this is a lesbian bar, right?"

"How's the arm?"

Pulling the limb in question towards herself, Jane asked "Who are you?"

"I asked you first."

Jane blinked, finally paying attention to the voice. Recognising it immediately.

"YOU!"

Lifting his cap slightly, he grinned at her. "Me."

She leaned over on her stool, teeth bared, glaring at him.

His big grin didn't disappear. Holding his hand out, he introduced himself. "Friends call me James."

Jane raised an eyebrow, the glare lessoning slightly. James dropped his hand, seemingly not offended.

"I'm guessing you have a lot of questions." He stood up, walking towards the exit. Calling over his shoulder he asked. "You coming?"

* * *

><p>Jane followed James outside. She had briefly flirted with the notion of staying where she was, but the need for answers outweighed her stubborness. Walking side by side, James seemed to have no destination in mind. At least as far as Jane could tell.<p>

Clientele from the bar milled about the front, ooohing and aaahing at the fireworks. Flirting and drinking. When they were on their own Jane spoke up. "I'm wondering why I haven't beat the crap out of you yet? We almost die in a basement - Thank you for that, by the way. As if I didn't already have enough basement issues…" Jane held up both of her hands, flashing her prominent scars at him. "…Then you disappear for weeks. I thought you were gone for good."

He reached over and lightly tapped her cast. "Hey, I got hurt in that fight too, you know."

As he turned to face her fully, she ran her eyes over him. As far as she could tell, he seemed okay now.

James continued on. "So, you going to tell me what you've learned while I've been gone?"

Jane gave the man an incredulous look. "Your money ran out a month ago smartass. What makes you think I even care about your case anymore?"

He looked at her, laughing lightly. "I know a kindred spirit when I see one, Jane. You're like me. Eternally curious. In search of the truth."

Anger flared in the former detective. "Yeah? Well like I said, you almost got me killed. My curiosity doesn't extend that far!" She started to storm off, when James called out after her.

"Sure it does. Why else would you still be looking into it?"

Jane spun around, slack jawed. "You've been **spying** on me?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

Jane approached him. Ramming her finger into his chest. "I was just fine until you came along. Why the hell can't you leave me alone? Who are you? Seriously, who the hell are you?"

He looked at her. Sympathy shining too painfully bright in his eyes. "Like I keep saying… I asked first."

Jane ran a hand over her face. Rubbing at her tired eyes. "What does that even mean?"

"Jane, you have questions. I understand that. It's good. I told you my name. I've even shown you my face. Most people I cross paths with rarely get one. By giving you both, I'm saying I trust you."

Jane looked the frustrating man up and down. "You trust me?"

He nodded.

"Okay, James. Questions… I keep coming back to the same ones. What the hell is going on? Who was the Hulk? And where did those guns come from?"

James looked at her. His familiar smile in place. "Boston's being targeted, Jane. What we found was the ground work for an invasion. With Paddy Doyle dead, his organisation is scrambling to pick up the pieces. The remaining mob families have begun picking each other off, fighting over his families scraps. They're distracted and it's left the city wide open… Boston's being targeted by Intergang."


	7. Week 11

**Week 11**

It was a gorgeous sunny day. Jane and James sat on a park bench in Boston Common. James was for once silent, as Jane people watched.

Two teenagers just off to her right were tossing a Frisbee. Dashing about the green space, arms outstretched as they failed miserably to accurately throw and catch the obscenely bright yellow disc. A couple strolled arm in arm through the trees. The shade providing relief from the burning sun. Not really paying attention to anything or anyone, just looking at one another. A handful of people were out walking their dogs.

Jane spared a thought for Joe Friday. She'd given her back to Korsak when her life had taken a turn for the worse. She hadn't been able to take care of herself, looking after a dog had been close to impossible. She missed her.

The brunette's eyes were drawn to another passing couple, and Jane's thoughts were drawn back to why she was here. James must have been watching her while she was looking at everyone else, as he asked if she was okay.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good. Just-" Jane's eyes went wide. A flashy Toyota convertible pulled up by the edge of the park. Jumping to her feet, the expected nervousness started taking hold of her. Running a hand through her hair, Jane looked over to her friend. "Here she comes! Please try not to embarrass me, okay?"

James looked over as Maura stepped out of her car. Her well toned legs on full display thanks to her short designer dress. She looked like a million bucks. He let out a low wolf whistle.

Jane glared at him. "Hey! Show some respect."

"Don't worry. I will." He whispered under his breath. "You never said she was so…"

"Shut. Up."

"What?" He asked innocently. Winking at her.

Jane just glared again. Wanting nothing more than to punch him in the arm at that moment.

Approaching with an unsettling air of confidence, Maura looked stunning in her no doubt custom fit baby blue dress. As she neared the bench, Maura lifted her designer sunglasses to rest atop her perfect wavy hair.

Jane fidgeted from foot to foot, as she stood to greet her former friend.

"Thank you for coming for coming, Maura."

"Jane." Maura nodded at her, and looked askance towards her partner.

Clearing her throat, Jane made the introductions. "James, this is Doctor Maura Isles. Maura, this is James."

She watched as he stuck out his hand. Mega-Watt smiled aimed squarely at Maura. Openly admiring her.

"I'm Jane's partner. It's a real pleasure to meet you."

Maura shook his hand, but frowned a little. Jane jumped in, wanting to clarify. "He means we're working together."

Maura smiled mechanically in her direction, and Jane groaned internally. _Not what she was frowning at dumbass!_

Struggling to recover from her faux-pas, Jane nodded towards the handsome man still sat in Maura's car. "Who's he?"

"Doctor Karl Benton, and he's none of your business."

Jane let it drop. Ignoring the slow burn of jealousy creeping through her.

Maura took a seat at the bench, and Jane joined her. She got straight down to business.

"You were correct. My family does own the building. However, we've had no direct dealing with it." She pulled out a piece of paper detailing the buildings information. "It's controlled through a management company. It was rented up until six weeks ago."

James reached forward, snatching the paper from Maura's hands just as Jane was about to take it.

Ignoring the look he was being given, his eyes scanned quickly over the page. "Timing's right."

Jane could only nod in agreement.

Maura continued on. "It was leased to a company called Crown-Merrick Holding here in Boston. That's all I have."

Jane and James stood up. "Thanks, Maura. I mean it."

Walking away, she was pulled up short by a questioning voice.

"Wait a moment…"

Jane could feel the panic setting in. Her gut crawling, as theories she didn't want to think about became a whole lot more real. She wanted to run. Avoid Maura's coming questions.

"…What's going on? What's this all about?"

"It's nothing, Maura. I told you. It's just a case I'm working on."

Maura grew angry. Reaching out and pulling on Jane's arm to stop her hasty retreat. "I checked, Jane. You're not a private investigator. You have no licence. Would I be right in thinking your "partner" here isn't one either?"

Jane's own anger flared up in response. What the hell did it matter to Maura anyway? She had no interest in her life anymore.

"Maura…" The warning was clear in her voice. Back off. She spun around, getting right in her face.

The smaller woman did not back down. "No. If something is going on relating to my family or my families property, I have a right to know.

You waltz back into my life after almost a year asking for a favour. You owe me an explanation. You **owe **me that much!"

"No. I don't. I owe you nothing, Maura!"

All the fight left both women at that point.

James stood awkwardly off to the side. Much like those scattered around the park nearby, he did his best to ignore the screaming match right in front of him.

"How… How can you say that?" Maura looked tired in that moment. For the first time since Jane had walked back into her life, she seemed like she wasn't 100% okay.

"I can say that because you walked away… Goodbye, Maura."

* * *

><p>They had left James' van a block away from the park. Walking back, Jane was seriously regretting bringing the agrravating man with her. She wasn't entirely sure why she had. The best she could come up with was that having someone else there meant she'd have to focus on the case, and not the history she shared with the woman she was meeting. It hadn't worked out so well, and now James just kept on talking.<p>

"Smooth moves, Rizzoli. Really. I'm impressed. That how you get all the ladies? You have quite the way with words. Want to double date sometime?"

Jane just glared. "What was I supposed to do? We have an extremely dangerous international gang making a move on Boston. We'll be lucky if they can identify our bodies once Intergang figure out we're on to them. I'm okay with that. It's my risk to take, but I'm sure as hell not putting Maura in their sights."

Stopping outside their van/HQ, James turned and narrowed his eyes. "Ahhh. Ignore what I said. I should have known."

"Known what?"

"That you still love her."

Jane let out a frustrated sigh. Wondering how her annoying friend always managed to push her buttons. "Just drop it, okay. This has nothing to do with love. I just don't want to be responsible for hurting her again. I've done enough there. I can't be responsible for anyone else's pain anymore."

Opening the rear van door, James stepped inside and started rifling through a box of files stacked atop a mountain of others. "For someone so young, you sure pack a lot of guilt."

"That's my cross to bare."

"Oh, please."

Even though his back was turned Jane could picture the eye roll, and it pissed her off. "What did you say?"

He ignored her. Continuing to rifle through the boxes. Jane slammed her fist into the van. "I said… What did you just-"

"Oh, calm down Jane. You heard me. What happened with Maura, you've got to let it go. It'll eat you alive. They'll be nothing left of you. Trust me. I've seen it before…" He looked up at her. Eyes kind. "…You don't deserve that."

Jane didn't want to hear it. She didn't want forgiveness. Voice raising again. "You don't know anything about-"

James tossed a file at her. Her name printed in bold across the front.

"Doctor Maura Isles. Boston's Chief Medical Examiner. Adopted by Constance and William Isles. Biological daughter of Patrick "Paddy" Doyle, head of one of the most notorious Irish Crime families. Last winter Doyle killed fire fighter Kevin Flynn to protect Maura. FBI agent Gabriel Dean, having followed you to the warehouse where the shooting took place, shot him. Doyle returned fire, hitting agent Dean. Then raised his gun at your partner Detective Barry Frost. You shot Paddy Doyle, who lost his balance and fell through a rotted wooden barrier on a raised platform. He later died from the internal injuries caused by the fall. Maura, in her grief, and realising she had lost any hope of finding her biological mother blamed you. Ending your intense three year friendship."

His voice softened. "An FBI agent was shot. A weapon was aimed at your partner, and you did what any trained officer would do. And that's why you hate yourself, Jane Rizzoli… because you did the right thing."

Jane clutched the file to her aching chest. Sinking down to sit on the van floor. Silent tears falling as she hung her head.

* * *

><p>Jane paced back and forth outside the van. James had been searching boxes of files for nearly an hour now.<p>

"Got them!"

She looked round to see an arm with a fist full of photo's sticking out the side of the van.

"Crown-Merrick Holding. A subsidiary of HSC International banking. HSC is Intergang's spearhead. One of their legit fronts they establish to move into new territory. Part research and development, part human resources."

"It disturbs me that gangs have R & D."

James smirked at her. "I know right? They have 401K's these days. Just as happy to kill you in the boardroom as in a dingy back alley. HSC is run by a former agent of a home grown unnamed terrorist cell." He points to the top picture. A statuesque woman with long flowing red hair. Most people would consider her a knockout. All Jane could see were her cold dead eyes. She could tell this wasn't a woman you crossed.

"This woman is known simply as Scarlet. Aside from her previous affiliation, nothing else is known about her. She travels with a bodyguard…" He shuffled to the second picture. A very familiar hulk of a man scowled back at her. "…She used to have two, but you killed his brother. Anthony and Nikolas, last name unknown. You took out Anthony." He flipped to the next picture. That's Nikolas' ugly mug staring back at you. If they're both here it's proof alone that Intergang has targeted Boston."

"So we confirm they're here. Look for proof they're moving in people and equipment."

James smiled. "Exactly, my friend."

"What're you so happy about? How do we do any of that?"

"Same way I get most of my questions answered. Breaking and entering."

Jane wasn't surprised. She shook her head, laughing.

Parked by the entrance to the lot, out of sight of the two friends, sat Maura. Waiting.

* * *

><p>They were currently outside the offices for Crown-Merrick Holding. James was working on the electrics, trying to bypass security and open the doors. Jane was on lookout. So far, she was actually kind of enjoying herself. She thought being on this side of the law would be problematic for her (no matter how honourable and good their intentions were), but mostly she was just curious and wanting answers.<p>

The doors swung open. Both held their breath waiting to see if the alarm would start to sound. After a tense few moments of nothing happening, Jane smiled over at her partner. "Nice job. I'm impressed."

"Thanks. Cameras?"

"No problem. I got it." Jane snuck along the wall. Keeping to the rooms blind spots. Reaching up she sprayed the lens, blacking out the camera.

James pointed to the doors on the opposite side of the room. Then lifted a finger to his lips.

Silently they approached. Voices coming through.

"_Phase two is ahead of schedule, and the teams are picked to arm them."_

"_Excellent! We're expecting another shipment from the Congo within the month."_

"Grrrrr."

Jane spun around at the sound of the dog growling behind her. Unfortunately it wasn't just a guard dog. Standing beside it was Nikolas. Every bit as much muscle machine as his brother.

The dog jumps at Jane as Nikolas charges at James. Grabbed round the throat, she sees James' body used as a battling ram, busting down the doors they were listening at. She doesn't see much else as the huge dog lands on her, knocking the wind out of her as she sails through the empty doorway just after him.

As the dog scrambles and bares its teeth, a shrill whistle sounds and the dog backs off.

Nikolas' meaty hands grip both Jane and James' necks, and his smell is overpowering.

"Ever thought of taking a bath? Ugkk."

His hand squeezes tighter, and Jane thinks to herself, throwing insults right now may not be the smartest move.

"So… Who do we have here?"

Nikolas drags them both closer to the silky smooth female voice.

"Ah, James. What a surprise. Always sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

Something about her voice makes Jane's skin crawl. Then the woman is behind her. Pressing in close. She bends closer to Nikolas. Trying uselessly to inch away from the woman invading her personal space. She sees flaming red hair out of the corner of her eye. Scarlet.

"You… You I don't know." All at once Scarlet's pressed right up against her, leaning in close. Running her tongue over her cheek.

"Ugh." Jane can't withhold the sound of disgust as she's unable to move anywhere, and right now all she wants to do is wipe her face.

Scarlet's laughing. "What's your name?"

"Ch-Charlize Theron." It's barely more than a squeak, her throat's being squeezed so hard.

Scarlet turns to Nikolas and points at James. "Break his neck."

"No!" Wait… It's Jane. Jane Rizzoli."

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?" She smiles at them. At least Jane assumes it's a smile. It was coming across more as a sneer. "It was nice to meet you… Nikolas?"

"Yes?"

"Kill them."

The two captives eyes grow wide simultaneously.

"Wait!" James sounds as desperate as Jane feels. "You don't even know why we're here. What we know. Who we've told."

"The fact you know anything is enough."

Scarlet strode through the busted down doors, calling over her shoulder. "Have at it, Nikolas." Then she was gone.

The revolting mountain of muscle turned his grim smile on them, and Jane shared a look with James. This wasn't going to be fun, and it was definitely going to be painful. She closed her eyes in acceptance, then braced for the pain.

James started making choking sounds. Looking over she could see Nikolas tightening his monster grip. He charged forward and they both scrambled to stay upright. When they reached the far wall, he forced her back into it. The back of her head connecting painfully with the solid wall. She slumped to the ground, momentarily seeing stars, and with disorientated eyes watched as he laid into James.

It took a couple of minutes, but as soon as her head cleared, Jane charged forward. Driving her body into the wall of muscle.

They all staggered to their feet, and just as it looked as if things were about to get painful again, a clear familiar voice rang out.

"FREEZE!"

All three spun around, surprise showing on everyone's faces as they took in the sight of a petite honey-blonde pointing a gun towards them.

Jane grinned. "Game over, Nikolas."

James spat a mouthful of blood at their adversaries feet, then moved towards the exit. Jane, disorientated still from the blow to her head, moved a little slower. As she drew level with Maura, she eased the gun from her hand, keeping it trained on the man in front of them. Nodding to the exit, Maura took Jane's cue and left the room.

Jane stood there. Weapon aimed at the man who had attempted to kill them. Seriously asking herself if she could shoot the asshole. Knowing she couldn't, and that she could no longer arrest him, she did the next best thing. Striding forwards, gun raised, she pistol whipped him on the side of the head. He crashed to the ground with a solid thump.

Running back out to their van, she saw Maura standing next to her vehicle. Changing course slightly, Jane approached.

They stood there looking at each other. Maura seemingly silently assessing Jane's injuries.

"You followed me." It wasn't a question.

"I did."

Jane simply nodded. Then handed Maura her weapon. "Thank you."

It was Maura's turn to nod.

They looked at each other a second longer, then both got in their respective vehicles without another word.

James got behind the wheel in the van. "I think she likes you."

"Shut. Up."


	8. Week 12

**Week 12**

Jane's feeling nervous as she leans against a patrol car parked out front of Boston PD. Her foot taps out an impatient rhythm as she waits.

Refusing to lie to herself, she knows she misses the place. Misses being a cop. Yeah, she kept crap hours, rarely got to sleep the night through and had endless piles of pain in the ass paperwork… but it had been who she was for so very long.

For the millionth time since James had crashed into her life, Jane wondered just what she was going to do with herself now. Maybe getting a P.I licence wasn't such a terrible idea?

Looking up, all such thoughts were silenced as a group of young Uni's exited the building. Trailing out behind them, Vince Korsak.

She'd lost a lot when she'd quit the force, but one of the things she hadn't really thought about, until recently, were the resources. Now that access was no longer available she had to rely on bridges she herself had burned.

Pushing off from the car, Jane joined Vince on the sidewalk. "Hey, Korsak."

Her old partner looked up startled. "Jane?"

She looked down at herself grinning. "Last time I checked."

"What are you doing here? Are you back? Did you speak to the-"

Jane quickly cut him off. Waving her hands in the air to get him to quiet down and stop talking. The smile on his face unbearable. She hadn't meant to give him the wrong idea.

"Whoa! Whoa! Keep it down. No, I'm not back…" Guilt twisted in her gut as Korsak's face fell. His expression turning stony. "…I'm not coming back Korsak. I can't be where I'm not wanted."

"You're wanted! Me and Frost practically begged you not to leave." Jane just gave a pointed look to her friend. "Oh, you mean not wanted by her."

She wanted out of this conversation. This wasn't why she was there. Time to get things back on track…

"Crown-Merrick Holding. There was trouble there last week. You heard about it?"

Korsak looked angry. "That was you?"

Jane nodded. The ground beneath her feet a little more solid now that Maura was no longer the subject.

"What do you know?"

"It was a conduit for Intergang. They're making a move on Boston." Korsak's eyes grew comically large. Jane would have laughed if the situation weren't so serious. She could hardly blame him. It was some seriously scary shit.

Korsak paused. Eye's blazing. "Do you have any idea what you've done? They're not there anymore. Place was cleaned out. Just like the last place you sent me! They know we're on to them, and we have no clue where they are now or how to stop them!"

Jane shrank back. She hadn't expected that.

"We've lost any element of surprise we might have had." The infuriated man was right in her face now, the anger blazing in his eyes aimed squarely at her. "You gave up your badge, Jane. Nobody took it from you. Remember that next time you decide to play hero."

Jane watched as Korsak stormed away.

* * *

><p>As if the weather were responding to her mood, heavy dark clouds formed on the walk home. Halfway there, they broke. Heavy rain falling from the sky. The cold rain seeping into her clothes. Soaking every inch of the thin fabric she wore.<p>

Stepping into her apartment. Face grim. She was ready to bite someone's head off. Today had not gone as planned.

Looking around, she found James exactly where she had left him. Sat in the lotus position in the middle of her living room.

"Hi, honey. I'm home." The greeting was no more than a growl.

There was no answer. He just kept on meditating in the loud silence. He'd suggested she try it. Said it would help her take a good look at herself. Figure out what she was doing with her life.

The last thing Jane wanted right now was to think about how much of a failure she was. How everything she attempts, she screws up. Korsak was right… They'd screwed up. Jumping in without really thinking of the consequences if they failed. They were almost back to square one.

Intergang. Scarlet. Nikolas. The gang name and two of its members. That was all they had now.

Jane pulled a bottle of water from her fridge. As the cool water slid down her throat she started to pace back and forth, doing her best to ignore the uncomfortable rub of her wet jeans. Not caring enough to go change. Her eyes drifted to Maura's letter on the counter. Pausing momentarily as the familiar pain spiked through her. _Focus Rizzoli!_

Clearing her mind, she decided to think out loud. At the very least, perhaps she could get a rise out of James.

"Intergang… Scarlet… Nikolas… They're moving in weapons and people. We have no way of knowing where. Best way to stop them is cutting them off at the source." Jane paused. "The source…"

James had a lot of notes on Intergang. A lot. She'd spent hours going through them. Reading them over and over. One place had popped up repeatedly. A place that she'd overheard Scarlet mention at Crown-Merrick. Jane's spirits sank lower as she realised just what lay ahead. What they had to do. Following the clues was all they could do now.

She walked over to James. Looking down at him, knowing he knew. "Go ahead and say it, James. I know you've been waiting for me to figure it out."

Eyes still closed, he grinned. "Okay, then. Let's go to the Congo."


	9. Week 14

**A/N: **Please forgive the few words of French at the end. I had to use Google translate. So I have no idea how accurate it is. It's no biggie if it's not quite right though.

Also, the town I've set this chapter in is real. However aside from the fact it has a large catholic church and a crummy landing strip, I know next to nothing about it.

Thank you for your continued support of this story!

* * *

><p><strong>Week 14<strong>

Three flights followed by a two day drive and another short flight. It was a long ass journey to the village they had to get to in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and they were only at the start.

As soon as the decision to go had been made, the two unlikely friends had sat down and hashed out a vague plan. For Jane, the two weeks leading up to the trip had been filled with a barrage of vaccinations and arranging the travel plans. James dealt with the visa's and getting his contacts to sort out supplies for when they arrived.

Jane had left a message on her ma's answering machine. Telling her she was leaving for an indeterminate amount of time. Not out of any real desire too, but just on the off chance that someone noticed she was gone and came looking for her.

The two weeks had flown by. The mad scrambling to get everything done having come together nicely, and now Jane was sat on the second of three flights, somewhere between New York and Johannesburg. She looked down at James, whose head was resting on her shoulder. He had fallen asleep pretty much as soon as the plane had taken off, and she envied his ability to just switch off and unwind for a little while. They had a long journey ahead and any chance to rest should be taken. She just couldn't switch off though. It felt very final, leaving Boston, leaving the country. More so, leaving behind everyone she knew. The very real possibility that they wouldn't even notice she was gone making her heart ache.

To distract herself, the former detective picked up the in-flight magazines she'd left resting on her lap. Flicking through them one at a time. Finding each one as boring and uninteresting as the last. She drummed her fingers restlessly on the armrests, staring out the window.

She was nervous about their destination. She knew very little about the Congo, but the quick search online and the few horror stories she'd read, were enough to scare the crap out of her. It wasn't a nice place.

Rape and sexual violence was prevalent. Two thirds of the country's population was malnourished, and in the last 16 years, the two Congo wars had led to more than 5 million deaths due to fighting and the associated famine and disease... and that number was still rising.

Looking at her friend once more, she felt her nerves calm a little. Though she'd never tell him, she was glad he was with her.

* * *

><p>32 hours of flying and 2 days of driving later, Jane and James were finally in the small town of Bondo, in the far north of the Democratic Rep. of the Congo. They'd arrived during the early hours of the morning, and following their contacts directions, they drove to the large catholic church in the centre of the town. James met the priest out front, and Jane watched as a key was exchanged for some cash.<p>

As soon as he was back in the car, Jane put it in gear and following James's map read directions, headed towards their place to crash.

It had been a long four days, and so far the trip had defied her expectations… Though to be fair, she had expected to have a gun shoved in her face the moment she put her foot on Congo soil.

She wondered when she had become so dramatic?

* * *

><p>A good nights sleep and a shower made the world of difference. They were currently holed up in a tiny "apartment." One room with a bed in, a tiny bathroom and an even smaller kitchen.<p>

Towelling her hair dry, Jane moved about the room changing as James spoke on the phone to his contact with his back to her. Being stuck in one room with him wasn't ideal (for either of them), but they were adults and so they were dealing with it.

"HNI shipping? Excellent…"

James had been on the phone for a better part of an hour. It was odd hearing him laughing and joking around with someone. He seemed so isolated most of the time.

"What was that? No I can barely hear you Archie. How's she doing?"

The idea of him having other people didn't sit well with Jane. She was alone. It was nice to have someone she thought was alone too.

"Good… She's smart. A lot of potential."

Jane frowned. Being talked about as if she wasn't in the room annoys her. Even if the words are nice.

"Don't worry, I will. Thanks again, Archie."

As James hung up the phone and turned around, Jane was lacing up her boots.

"So who was that?"

"A friend. He thinks he's tracked down the Crown-Merrick Holding connection here." He picked up his bag and looked over at Jane. "Lets go check it out."

Exiting the apartment, they walk through a street market, both surprised to see it so busy. It was still fairly early in the day, but the sun was beating down on them already. Combined with the intense humidity, they were both sweating heavily before long.

The denim jeans and boots already feeling like too much, Jane started to undo her shirt buttons, glad she'd decided to wear a tank top underneath.

Looking over at her friend, Jane couldn't keep her curiosity at bay any longer. "So is your friends name a secret? Am I going to have to wait months to find out what it is? I thought you trusted me?" There was no anger in her voice, a hint of frustration, but Jane hated how insecure she sounded.

James just grinned at her. As if he knew what she was thinking. She couldn't help but wonder if he did.

"Archibald Peabody. Otherwise known as Archie. He's been a good friend for years. He coordinates my cases. Handles the gear, contacts etc., and much like your Dr. Isles, he's a genius. I'd be lost without him."

He glances sideways at her as he continues to lead them through the wide winding streets. How he knew where he was going without a map, Jane didn't know. She didn't reply or meet his gaze. She knew he was trying to get her to open up and talk. He'd been none to subtly mentioning Maura, more and more of late. She refused to bite.

A small smirk graced her features as her partner let out a small sigh, perhaps realising he was getting nowhere.

"He shipped us a container of supplies. It should arrive in the next day or two."

Jane ignored the information. Instead blurting "You were talking about me." The look on her face indicated she hadn't planned on saying that out loud.

"I was." James paused as she looked at him expectantly, eyebrows raised. "He's my friend. He just wanted to know how we were getting along. How things were going with you."

"And how are things going with me?"

A small laugh escaped the cheerful man. "You still don't have a clue who you are." Jane glared at him. "Other than that though, pretty good."

"You're an ass."

"So some people say."

"Only some?" Jane grinned as she raised a mocking eyebrow at him.

He returned the playful smile and reached into his bag, pulling out a map.

"Okay, that's the old district…I think if we take a left here. We'll be in the right place."

Jane didn't really hear him. All her senses were screaming at her that something wasn't right. She carefully looked around. Doing her best to make it look natural.

"No sarcastic remark, Jane? I said 'I think'… I'm shocked!"

Jane full on froze.

James' reaction was immediate. "What is it?"

"Don't laugh or call me paranoid, but I think we're being followed."

James' face lit up. "Oh, that. He's been on our tail since we left the apartment." He strode off, map held high, looking like a proper tourist. "Come on. This way… I think." He turned back and winked at her. As Jane stood there silently fuming.

"I swear if we get out of this alive, I'm going to kill him!"

Running to catch up with her maddening partner, Jane practically hissed at him. "You didn't think telling me that was worthwhile? I thought I was going nuts for a moment. This is the sort of thing partners tell one another."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to worry."

His honesty was disarming sometimes, and Jane's anger promptly disappeared in the face of it. "Oh… Well, tell me next time. Okay?"

"Sure thing."

"So who is it? Do you know?"

"Nikolas. I think."

"Oh, great. I feel like another pounding. My body was starting to look decidedly bruise free."

James' rolled his eyes at her then stopped outside a building. Apparently deciding they'd found the right place.

It was in a secluded area. No one around. Perfect place to have the shit kicked out of you. Jane watched as he pulled on the door handle.

"Are you crazy? Is that what's going on here?"

"No such thing as crazy, Jane."

She watched as he pulled back, then kicked the door in. "I beg to differ." She whispered under her breath.

Walking in together, a powerful, but familiar smell assaults their senses. Jane raised a hand to cover her nose and mouth, fighting her gag reflex.

Laying before them is at least a half dozen bodies. On the floor, bent over desks, they were everywhere.

The place had been trashed. Papers spilling out of blood covered files scattered all over. As Jane ran her eyes around the open plan room, she noticed there wasn't a surface not covered in blood. Floors, walls, desks, even the damn ceiling!

The homicide detective in Jane is screaming at her to run. To leave and never look back. She ignores that instinct. It's not who she is anymore. Taking another step inside, the urge to vomit rises in her again. The smell is overpowering.

"The bastards!"

Jane ignores the outburst from behind her. Choosing to stand and take it all in. "I'm guessing they didn't want them talking."

"I agree."

The voice was right behind her now, but Jane stepped away, moving even further into the room of horrors.

"What're you doing?"

"We lost our only lead. I'm looking around in the vain hope I'll find something."

James sounded impressed. "Good girl."

Jane glared

"Boy?"

"Oh, ha ha… Come on, asshole. Help me look."

They spent the next few minutes hurriedly searching the immediate area. Jane once again fighting her instincts to not touch anything. At least without gloves…

The search was proving elusive for any solid lead, and after another few minutes James' called out to her.

"Come on, Jane. There's nothing here. Let's go."

Looking disappointed, Jane returned the items she'd found in one victim's pocket, before joining James at the door.

The two frustrated partners stepped outside.

"ARRETER!"

James immediately threw his hands in the air. Though Jane didn't understand French, she could gather from James' reaction just what was being said. However, finding it impossible to ignore her fighting instinct, she looked around. Eyes darting everywhere, body crouched low. Looking for all the world like a cornered animal.

There were men in military uniforms everywhere. Countless guns pointed directly at them.

"METEZ VOS MAINS!"

Realising she was stuck, Jane slowly relaxed her body. Her arms moving skyward.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"We're screwed aren't we?"

Silence. That said it all.


	10. Week 15

**A/N:** So,the story continues. Still a long way to go. Thanks for sticking with my so far! I realise Maura hasn't been around a whole lot. Fear not, she will feature much more reguarly... Just not yet. Patience.

On another note - I've had loads of story alerts and favourites for this story, but very little feed back. Should I take this to mean you like what I'm doing? I'm only a few chapters ahead now and I'm still deciding on a lot of things. Is there anything or anyone you'd like to see or see more of? A little more humor? Less?

I'm always open to constructive criticism. Please feel free to leave any words of wisdom.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Week 15<strong>

Five days. It felt like a thousand.

Jane and James had been taken to some sort of military prison… at least that's what she guessed. Due process didn't seem to exist here. No reading of rights, no lawyer and no contact with her embassy.

Whether this was standard procedure or not, she didn't know. They'd given their names when they were taken in. Perhaps they ran them and found out she used to be a detective and didn't like the idea of her snooping around? Perhaps Intergang had paid the government officials off? Corruption was rife her after all. Or maybe they weren't in a government facility at all. Who knew? It was all guess work.

The first day they had separated them and left them to rot in their cells. James being thrown in one at the opposite end of the large room. She hadn't seen him since.

Everyday there had been an intense "Interrogation." Their definition of interrogation varied wildly from Jane's own. Their's meant "beat the living crap out of."

Looking down at her body, weary eyes ran over what skin was on show, she was once again covered in bruises and cuts. Her whole body ached. Jane was beginning to think that maybe this case would be the death of her. A part of her, the part that had spent many a night eyeing her weapon, trying to find the strength to pick it up and pull the trigger was somewhat relieved, hopeful even. However, another part. A large part that had lain dormant for nearly a year now was looking for a way out. It was screaming at her that she had to live. That she had things to live for.

She might not be back on speaking terms with Maura, but contact had been made. It was a first step… Maybe. And she had whatever this was, a partner and a crusade. Three things. Three things were a step up from none.

Jane heard the creaking door at the end of the jail room screech open. She squeezed her eyes shut, wincing at the shrill sound. As footsteps sounded, she opened her eyes while taking a deep calming breath. It was time for beating number five.

The men in the cell opposite hers eyed her almost sympathetically. She held their gaze, head held high.

The two interrogators came to a stop outside her cell. One a big beefy guy with a thick mop of brown hair. His beady eyes looked from her to the bat in his hand, a grin plastered on his face.

The other guy was smaller, about her size, but stockier. He was the one Jane really didn't like. The way he ran his eyes over her body, leering. It made her skin crawl more than the grime covered floor she had to sleep on.

So far they had only beaten her. She wandered how long it would be before they crossed the line.

"Mind the she-wolf. She's still got fight in her." The big guy said this in his heavily accented English as he smashed the bat on her prison cell bars.

The creepy guy gave her a lecherous grin. "Not for much longer."

He opened her cell and entered. Stalking up to her, he pulled her along with a fistful of hair and the front of her tank top. Making sure to paw at her body as he did so. The front of her top being pulled away from her body, giving the pervert a clear view down it. "More questions."

He threw her into the arms of the big guy. His bat slamming into the underside of her jaw as he jammed it into her throat. Jane choked a little as she felt it pressing into her windpipe, then glared angrily at the silent guard as he slapped on manacles then dragged her towards the interrogation room.

They wanted a confession. They'd keep beating her (and doing god knows what else) until she admitted to killing the seven men that had been slaughtered in that office.

It was clearly Intergang's hit. She'd said as much. Done to make sure no one at the HNI Shipping office talked.

James thought it was Nikolas. Jane was inclined to agree.

They passed a handful of cells and James' was coming up. She was worried about him. They'd beaten him pretty horrifically when they'd taken them in.

He'd tried to stop them hurting her. Said he'd take her beatings. Jane didn't like it. Told them not to listen to him. They'd ignored her. Her friend had barely been able to stand up when they were done… Then they had held his head and forced him to watch as they beat her anyway.

As they passed his cell, Jane froze. At first she thought he wasn't there any more. Then she noticed his body sprawled in a shadowed corner. He wasn't moving.

"Ja-mes?" Her voice cracked as she said his name. The dehydration and emotion causing the break in his name.

The two guards glowered menacingly at her. "Shut up!"

Jane ignored them. Terrified for her only friend. "James!"

She wriggled free from her captors, grabbing at the cell bars.

It was then that the idiot guards noticed the body on the floor. The big guy yanked her back by the hair, then grabbed a hold of the chain attached to the manacles, doing his best to pull the struggling woman away.

"No. Wait. My friend! What happened to my friend?"

With desperate eyes, Jane watched as the creep pulled his keys and baton out, while she was dragged further away.

"JAMES!"

A fist connected with the side of her head, and she momentarily saw stars.

"Silence!"

As her head cleared she peered anxiously over at the unmoving body on the ground. _Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay._

Looking on, the creep guard entered the cell, locking the door behind him. Approaching her still friend, he called out to him. When there was no response he prodded him with his baton a few times. No movement.

The two guards shared a look, shrugging at one another. The guard bent down to check his pulse and James surged up at him, wrapping the chains, from his permanently attached manacles, around the guards neck.

"Make it count, Jane!"

The starving, sleep deprived brunette surged into life as her name was called. Making damn sure she did indeed make it count. She lunged forward, putting as much strength as she had into the movement. The burly guard holding onto the chains jerked forward, loosing his balance. She spun around, wrapping the chain around the bat he was about to swing at her, ripping it from his hands. Jane bent down and scooped it up, then swung it at the guards face. As he bent over doubled up in pain, she swung down on his back with both fists, then drove her knee into his stomach. As he reared back she drove the bottom of the bat into the back of his head. The lumbering idiot dropped to the floor, out cold.

Jane drew in a few deep breaths as she looked down at the guard.

"The keys. Hurry!"

Jane's head snapped up, looking over into the cell. The creepy guard was also knocked out, and James leaned heavily against the cell bars, struggling to hold himself up.

Shirtless, she could see he was covered in all manner of cuts and bruises, and even a handful of nasty looking burns. She winced in sympathy for the man before her.

"I never thought I'd say this…" Jane yanked the keys off of her guard, unlocking her manacles, then moving to free her friend, her best friend. "…but I am so very glad to see you, James."

She smiled at him. A full on Jane Rizzoli toothy smile. "I thought for a second there that I'd lost you for good."

As the cell door clanked open, James smiled wearily at her. "Nah. I'm… _Ngk_… with you to the end, Jane. We're in this together."

With shining eyes, Jane wrapped her arm around the injured man, and together they walked out of the hell hole they'd been in.


	11. Week 16

**Week 16**

Night had fallen some time ago, and in an industrial park full of shipping containers, Jane Rizzoli crept barefoot through the shadows.

Ducking behind a container, she watched as a rat scurried over her foot. Before her stint in jail, she probably would have given a shout of surprise and disgust. Tried to get it the hell away from her... Five days in a disgusting pit of a jail and eight days on the run, living out of a shipping container, things had changed. A single rat barely registered her attention.

Making sure the coast was clear, Jane swiftly and silently made her way over to the container that had kept them safe and hidden for the past week and a bit. Grateful that James' friend Archie had had the thing delivered ASAP. Stepping inside she looked around. It had light and a few supplies. Half of them were useless now, but they at least had blankets, money and medical supplies.

Jane crouched in front of a meditating James. She had a bag slung over her shoulder. Food and water she had scavenged filling it.

"Hey, James." She spoke in a whisper, not wanting to disturb her friend too much. He still looked like hell. Worse than he should after a week. The majority of his bruising, like hers, had faded, but he was still weak and his appetite low, and he was sleeping a lot.

A light smile graced his lips. "Jane, the kids and I were starting to worry."

She reached into her bag pulling out a bottle of water and some bread. "The kids, huh." She watched as three rats ran around the edge of the container. "I think the kids are multiplying. Any more and we're moving." Jane pressed the bread into her friends hand. "Eat."

She was relieved when he started to without protest.

"They still looking for us out there?"

"I didn't see anyone, but that doesn't mean much. I'm hoping they've moved onto another area. I want to get the hell out of this country. It's been a complete bust!"

James swallowed down the last of his dry bread then reached for the bottle of water. "It certainly hasn't gone according to plan."

Jane grinned at him. "That's an understatement if I ever heard one."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Thoughts of the past two weeks running through their tired minds.

Jane was at a bit of a loss. They'd lost their only lead and were stuck in a country she desperately wanted out of. She was sure they'd kill them both on sight if they were caught… that or more of the same from which they'd just escaped. Fidgeting restlessly, she was struck with an overwhelming urge to get out. She sprang to her feet. "Come on James. I need to get out of here. There's no one out looking for us right now. It may be our only chance."

Stuffing their meagre belongings into the small duffle bag, she moved around the container with purpose.

James sat watching. Unmoving. He seemed to be weighing up staying or going.

"Jane, I think we should wait a few more days. They won't find us here, and the more time that passes, the fewer men they'll dedicate to finding us. Just a few more days." The last sentence was spoken in a soothing, placating tone.

It didn't work. Jane was just as agitated as she was a moment ago. "It won't matter." She pushed her hand into her pocket, pulling out a rumpled folded piece of paper. She tossed it over to James, sighing as she spoke. "I found that. It's being passed around local gangs. I'd take a guess at it being Intergang's doing, but it could've been the assholes looking for us."

She watched as the seated man unfolded the paper. It was a picture of them both. A substantial amount of money on offer for their capture or death.

James looked up at her, hurt and anger flashing in his eyes. "You've been going out there with a price on your head? You could've been killed!"

"We had to eat! And people have been trying to kill me… us, since we set foot in the country. The only difference now is that I know how much my head is apparently worth." Jane attempted to lighten the mood with some levity. "I'm almost flattered."

"You're cracking jokes? When did we swap places?"

Jane smiled. "I got tired of being on edge. I've reverted to humour. Enjoy it while it lasts."

He looked at her a little longer then stood up. "Okay, Jane. Let's get out of here. I want to contact Archie anyway. Find out if he's managed to track down any other leads for us. I don't like feeling like we've hit a dead end."

"You and me both." Jane reached into one of the crates, pulling out a glock. Making sure the weapon was loaded and the safety on, she placed it in the bag. Ready to go, they left their hideout for the last time.

* * *

><p>Three hours later and they had escaped the small river town without hindrance. They were currently bouncing down a dirt road towards the border in a car they'd stolen. The theft had bothered Jane for all of 5 seconds before she remembered she was wanted for murder, a fugitive, and was on the radar of a lot of local gangs happy to kill her for a handsome reward.<p>

Staring out the window, Jane took in the passing scenery. Finding the colours blurring by relaxing. She was so tired. The continued high stress was not conducive to sleep. A giggle escaped and James looked over at her in askance, an eyebrow raised.

"You cracking up over there?"

"No. Just thinking to myself how ridiculous my life has become."

"Ridiculous? This is just another day at the office for me."

Jane turned to face him, smiling. "That would not surprise me, but that's because you're a crazy fucker."

"Crazy fucker? How charming."

A few moments passed in silence.

"A year ago I was a respected, decorated homicide detective. I genuinely loved my job. I looked forward to going in every single day. I was surrounded by a good group of people. My relationship with my ma was the best it had ever been. Frankie was doing great, waiting to be assigned to a department. Tommy had really gotten his life back on track. The only thing missing was my pop, but that was out of my control.

I had a great group of friends. Me, Korsak and Frost were a tight team. We were the best. We had our moments, but we always had each others backs. Then there was…"

Jane froze. Maura's name stuck in the back of her throat.

James looked at her sympathetically. Taking one of his hands off the wheel for a moment to give her shoulder a comforting squeeze. He finished the sentence for her. "Then there was Maura."

Jane looked sadly at her friend and partner. "Yeah. She came into my life unexpectedly. We had nothing in common, but straight away we clicked. She was my best friend. My family. I honestly don't remember what my life was like before she came into it." Jane laughed. "You know, she'd say and do the most ridiculous things sometimes, and she'd get so excited over the smallest stuff. Best of all, she loved being a part of my family. Being a Rizzoli." A tear slid down her face as a memory made its way to the surface. "Me and my brothers, we all have a Red Sox jersey with our name on the back. Our lucky shirts. We'd always wear them for the big games. We got her one made up. She cried when we gave it to her. Clutching it in her hands like it was the most precious thing in the world."

"You loved her very much."

Jane's heart ached. "I still do… but I ruined it. I ruined everything. Then I quit my job and drove away my family and friends. I really screwed up." Tears spilling from her eyes, Jane stared at her lap, her voice a broken whisper. "She hates me. I don't know how to live in a world where she hates me."

James did his best to concentrate on the road as his friend finally opened up. He wanted to pull over and comfort her, but they were on the run, daylight was fast approaching and they needed to get across the border as soon as possible. It was typical of the woman to open up at the least opportune moment. He'd been trying since they met to get her to talk or let it out. He hated that she beat herself up so much. He hated that Maura Isles was directing her anger at the wrong person. It was a messed up situation.

"Jane, I don't think she hates you. I think she's angry and she's hurting. She helped us. Saved us. Those are not the actions of a woman who hates. I think, with a bit more time, she'll get past what happened… but you know what? Even if she doesn't, even if she throws away your friendship and lets an amazing person like you escape, you'll get through it. You have so much to live for Jane. So much to give. The world needs Jane Rizzoli. Never forget that."

Falling silent, he once again focused all his attention on the bumpy road.

"Thank you."

He said nothing. Just nodded his head in acknowledgment.

* * *

><p>The sun was just peaking over the horizon when they started to approach the border. There was no way they'd be getting past the official checkpoint, so they pulled the car over a mile before it. Jane grabbed their bag before eyeing James. "You sure you're up for this? If I have to drag your ass across the border I'd rather know now."<p>

"I'm fine, Jane. Really. Come on, let's get out of this place."

They strode forward purposefully. Their desire to leave overcoming any fatigue and hunger pains.

Aside from the dusty brown and red road, the border between the Democratic Rep. of The Congo and Central African Republic was a nasty maze of jungle. Having abandoned their vehicle, the two fugitives beat their way through the lush vegetation. It was agonisingly slow progress. An hour later, arms aching, their tatty clothes were soaked in sweat, and they found them selves in a clearing. Jane's heart thumped wildly. Her famous gut instinct telling her something wasn't right. She paused, looking around, taking in their surroundings clearly.

"Jane?"

Aside from the questioning tone when he spoke her name, he remained silent. Her ears pricked, small noises indicating someone or something was moving nearby. She focused entirely on the sounds and slowly shifted her gaze to the left. A subtle movement drew her attention, and she spotted a gun pointed directly at James.

"GET DOWN!" She dove at him. Pushing the man to the muddy ground as a shot rang out. She immediately jumped to her feet, eyes searching for their shooter.

"You see anyone?" James asked, slowly getting to his feet. Wiping himself down.

Jane shook her head. Cautiously making her way to their bag of supplies, she crouched down and unzipped it. As she reached in to retrieve the loaded gun, James shouted at her in alarm.

"Jane! To your right. Watch out!"

At the frantic warning, Jane's hands gripped the cool metal. Pulling the gun from her bag, she switched the safety off as she swung her arms up to her right, taking aim in a split second. Her finger squeezed the trigger in the next heartbeat as she noted the person and gun aimed directly at her.

As the bullet slammed into the would-be assassin, Jane registered just who she had fired at. Her eyes went wide and she staggered forward a few steps before dropping to her knees. Her eyes ran over the body no more than 20 feet in front of her.

It was a young girl. No more than 13 or 14 years old.

Blood started to pool around the body. Sinking into the rich earth beneath it. Jane's fragile hold on her mind started to slip.

"No. No, no, no, no… She's just a kid… A little girl." Jane's stomach churned, nausea rolling through her. She hunched over, retching. What little food she had in her stomach quickly followed as it was forcefully expelled. She ran a shaky hand over her mouth. Unable to take her eyes from the dead girl in front of her. She jumped as a firm hand rubbed her back.

"You had no choice. She would have killed you"

Jane shook her head, not wanting to hear any justification for this. She felt James' hand move to her arm. Tugging on it in an attempt to make her stand. Jane didn't budge. She sat staring, rocking back and forth slightly, tears running down her face. "Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women…"

James listened to the broken whispered prayer. Giving Jane that moment.

"Just a child. A little girl. I killed someone's baby girl."

With a sigh, James moved behind the devastated woman. Reaching down, he hooked his arms under Jane's, dragging her upwards to her feet. "Jane, we have to leave now. There's no way the military personnel by the border didn't hear the weapons fire."

"I don't care… leave me here. I can't do this anymore."

Jane's voice was dull, flat and lifeless. They didn't have time for this. If they didn't leave now then any chance of escape was pretty much hopeless.

"HEY! Snap out of it! She had a gun pointed at your head. You did what you had to do. It's horrible that she was a kid, but you didn't put that gun in her hand. You can cry and beat the crap out of yourself later. Now move your ass, Rizzoli! I'm not dying in this shit hole!" He tugged on her hand and thankfully she moved forward a little.

He glanced at her. Eyes gentle as he met her haunted gaze. She gave him a small nod, then simultaneously they fled their surroundings.

As Jane ran for her life, she felt her tenuous grip on hope fail.


	12. Week 18

**Week 18**

It had been just over a week since they had crossed the border into Central Africa. That first day they got as far away from the Congo as they could. In the first populated town they'd come across, James had shoved a fistful of money into a local car owners hands and asked them to drive.

9 hours and little over 400 miles later, they were in a town called Bozoum.

They'd found a place to stay relatively easy, then crashed straight away. When James had woken the next morning, Jane was gone. A note had been left saying simply "_Back later. Get some rest._"

He had worried instantly.

When he'd met Jane she had been in a very fragile state. Towing the line between treading water and drowning. As the weeks had passed he'd seen her grow stronger. Becoming more and more like the Jane Rizzoli in his file on the former Detective. She was a good woman. She deserved better than what life had thrown at her the past few years.

When Intergang had targeted Boston, Archie had drawn up a list of people he thought would work well with James. Flicking through the files, Jane's had jumped out at him straight away. The fact that Archie had red flagged it due to the woman's emotional turmoil, only enticed him more. He'd been a fixer-upper once. In desperate need of a helping hand. It had seemed serendipitous that they should meet, and that he could return the favour on what would most likely be his last case.

Jane had returned "later." Much later, in fact. She'd stumbled in drunk and passed out on her bed. It seemed that she had reverted to who she was when they'd first met. Shutting everything and everyone out and drowning her pain in alcohol.

The next few days had been much the same. As James made contact with Archie and waited for a possible lead on Intergang, Jane spent her days and nights in a drunken stupor. She refused to talk. Barely ate. Jane was vanishing before his very eyes. Occasionally she would wake in the night, sobbing. A jumble of unintelligible words passing her drunken lips. Every tactic he employed to try and get the brunette to open up rebuffed with a silent hollow gaze.

On the sixth night, Jane hadn't returned. James had torn through the area trying to track her down. Terrified, he had returned without her. Afraid he would never see her again. Afraid that no one would.

Jane had stumbled in the next night as if she hadn't been missing for the last 36 hours. James had been too relieved to see her alive to vent his rapidly increasing anger. He just held her tight as she had cried herself to sleep, wrapped in his arms, on his bed.

The next day had been a good one. She'd actually stuck around all day. Catching up on what information Archie had managed to assemble. Admittedly it hadn't been much, but they had a possible location in Yemen. Discussing the possible lead and making tentative plans had been enough to focus Jane for a day.

Which led to today. Day 9. James was furious. Jane had disappeared again. Not even bothering with a note this time.

After crossing the town to the drinking establishment Jane liked to frequent, he had questioned the owner. Apparently she had left earlier with a local woman. He got the address off the owner after slipping him a few francs, and hurried back across the town to given address. This had to stop.

Banging on the door, heedless of what the neighbours or locals might think, James waited impatiently at the door. When no answer came, he banged again. Even louder this time. After a minute and still no answer, he pressed his ear to the door, and sure enough he heard noises coming from inside.

Looking around, making sure no one was watching, he picked the lock. Entering the small home, he closed the door behind him.

"Jane?" Again, there was no answer from his friend. Anger still rising he called out "Jane? I know you're here!"

He crossed to the room opposite as he heard a very loud moan. Shaking his head angrily, he banged on what had to be the bedroom door. When he was ignored, he threw it open. A woman he didn't recognise yelped in surprise, yanking her bed sheet up to cover her naked exposed body. Jane's head popped out from under the cover. She looked terrible. Clearly drunk.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" James had had enough of her self-destructive self pity. She needed to snap out of it.

Jane smiled lazily. Running a hand across her mouth, she blearily looked up at him. "Uhm… You don't really want me to answer that, do you?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? You promised you wouldn't disappear again. This can't continue, Jane."

Anger flashed over the drunk woman's face. "I'm an adult. I can do whatever the hell I like." She leered at the bewildered woman they'd both been ignoring. "…Fuck whoever I like." Jane locked eyes with her friend. "Is that it? Is that the problem? You like me, James?"

Jane stumbled out of the bed, standing naked, a nasty smile on her face. She ran her hand slowly down her body. "You want this?"

James just stood there. Eyes fixed on Jane's. He watched as she sauntered forward, stopping an inch from him. Leaning in close she whispered in his ear. "Take a good look, because this is as close as you're ever going to get."

She bent down, retrieving her hastily discarded jeans. Pulling them on, her t-shirt quickly followed. As soon as she was dressed he spoke.

"Are you done?"

Bloodshot eyes half focused on him. "I was done a long time ago, Jamesy boy. I've just finally accepted it."

"This is as far from acceptance as you can get. You're pathetic, Jane. Things get hard, something goes wrong, and you bury yourself with alcohol. Obliterating all traces of the woman you are."

She laughed at him. "I barely know you. You think I give two fucks what you think? You say I'm pathetic. I'm not the one hiding who I am, or stalking people who just want to be left the hell alone. You're a joke, James. Desperate to play at detective with me because you haven't got anyone else."

James looked at the woman before him. All wild hair and rumpled clothing. Her dull, flat voice slowly starting to build up an edge to it. He needed her alive, not shutting down. Jane's eyes narrowed but still lacked fire. She was so far gone he was going to have to break her right down, so she could build herself back up. He went in for the kill. This time laughing at her.

"That the best you can do, Jane? I overestimated you. I don't have room for self pitying, weak minded individuals on my team. No wonder Maura walked away."

Furious eyes latched onto James. _Ahhh… There it is._

Jane surged forward, finger in his face. Screaming. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

Closing his eyes to the broken woman, he continued on. Hating himself, but knowing it was necessary. "I mean why would she waste her time with someone like you? Waiting on love from someone who can't even love herself. Poor little Janey."

Jane swung at him. He easily ducked out of the way. Reaching out, he pulled her close. There were tears streaming down her face. She beat her fists into his chest, trying to pull away. James refused to let go.

"I killed a little girl. I don't… Let go of me!" Her voice was raw with emotion, but she wasn't shouting anymore. The fists pummelling James' chest grew weaker as she collapsed into him. "Let me go. Please… Let me go. I don't deserve any of this. I'm a monster… A monster."

Jane's legs gave out, and James sank to the ground with her. Holding her tight, he wished he could take the pain away.

Jane shifted her arm. Reaching down to his gun. His hand shot down to stop her, gripping the weapon himself. He watched in heartbreaking agony as she lifted his hand to her head. The barrel of the gun pressing into her skull.

"Please. Do it."

Pulling his hand and the gun back gently, his heart broke for his friend. "Jane, this won't solve anything."

"Noooo… Please."

The heart wrenching plea from the broken woman tore at his own aching heart.

He holstered the weapon and once again wrapped both arms around his dear friend, rocking her gently back and forth as they both cried for everything she had endured


	13. Week 23

**Week 23**

_Yemen, 187 km N.E Sana's_

Two figures deep in shadow looked down on a large stone room. Shadows and flames from lit torches danced in the air as a draft swept through the room. Children in manacles chained to the walls huddled together, as members of Intergang stood watchful guard over them.

At the head of the room, on a raised area, stood Scarlet. As striking as ever, her vivid flame red hair flowed down her back over a barely there ensemble.

She was talking to the emaciated children. Speaking in a loving voice; words of hatred, violence and murder passing her lips. Almost as if she were giving a sermon.

Stepping out of the shadow, Jane leaned forward onto the balcony.

It had been a hard month. She had spent it trying to find some peace within herself.

After breaking down in James' arms he had taken her back to their room. Many a night she had awoke in tears. The lifeless eyes of a child seared into her memory. The next few weeks had been filled with hard work and meditation. Anything James suggested, she tried. Fighting it was too hard now. So she took a leap of faith and trusted the man who had been at her side these past few months and had dragged her out of her first low point back in Boston.

"Scarlet. You were right, it's her. I should shoot her right now." Her voice was low so as not to alert the guards, but her hand moved to her weapon, fingers twitching over it.

"Well if you could restrain yourself for a bit, I want a look at that file first, Jane."

"File?" Eyes drifting back to Scarlet, she noticed a small stone table to her right. A file rested open, all sorts of information just tantalisingly out of reach. "I don't give a damn. These kids need to be freed. This is a damn Intergang reduction camp!"

Scarlet's voice grew louder as a teenage boy was roughly dragged into the room. Pushed harshly to the ground at the steps at Scarlet's feet, the boy crying out in pain.

"This is the third time you have tried to run. It will be the last."

The goons surrounding the groaning scared boy grinned mercilessly.

"See to it that his legs never obey him again." Spinning around, pulling what could only be described as a cloak more closely around her, she lazily flicked her hand back at her men. "Start with his ankles."

As Scarlet focused her attention on the file James wanted, Jane watched in horror as the scene before her played out.

Jumping up onto the ledge, she pulled her weapon free. Calling quietly over her shoulder as she readied herself to jump. "All right, on three-"

James lunged forward and dragged her back. "Stop."

Stumbling back slightly while fighting James' grip, Jane looked on as the boy was beaten with bats. Several of them pounding repeatedly at his legs and back. A pool of blood starting to form beneath him.

"He's gonna die, we can't just-"

Jane's voice was cut off as a hand clamped down over her mouth. "Quiet!"

As she continued to struggle, eyes locked on the now large pool of blood. Flashes of a jungle clearing racing through her mind. A different child staring back at her.

"We go down there, we'll die. Simple as that. It stinks and it's wrong and it hurts like hell, but there's nothing we can do for that kid."

Jane struggled to argue back. A muffled angry sound spilling forth from behind James' gloved hand. Eyes ablaze, staring up, trying to communicate how badly she needed to help, hoping he'd let her go.

Instead he leaned in closer. His voice kind, he spoke gently in her ear. "There are some things you just have to accept, Jane."

She continued to struggle, but the angle he held her at meant she couldn't move her body all that well. His words slowly sinking in. Focusing back on the bloody and beaten boy, she realised he wasn't screaming anymore. He wasn't fighting either. There weren't even groans of agony. He simply lay there limply on the cold hard unforgiving ground.

The fight left Jane at that moment. Her eyes flitting around the room, taking in the terrified looks on the chained children's faces. Some with tears streaming silently down their cheeks, frantically wiping at them hoping the guards would not see such signs of unacceptable weakness.

Scarlet's velvet tones once again filled the room, as she resumed her position at the front of the raised area. "Here endeth the lesson."

James' hand dropped from Jane's mouth as he released his hold on her. The battered and now lifeless boy was dragged from the room.

Jane glared angrily at her partner. "You really are a bastard." It wasn't much more than a growl, but considering their precarious position, she really had no choice. Right now, all she wanted to do was scream and rage at the man before her.

"Well, I was raised in an orphanage, so you're probably right…"

_Always with the damn humour! _Jane shook her head slightly in disbelief.

"…Now let's get ou-"

"Well what do we have here?"

The two partners spun around to find one of Scarlet's oversized lackeys baring down on them. Jane's anger for her friend immediately retreating as it redirected itself rightfully to the men infront of her.

"Oops."

Jane smirked at her friends reaction as she once again pulled her weapon free. "I think you were saying something about acceptance?"

"Not quite what I meant." He followed up his words with a heavy swing at the brute in front of them, but only connected lightly.

Already knowing that their cover was blown; the sounds of the barely begun fight would have already drifted down to the echoey room below, Jane waited patiently to take her shot as James attempted the hands on approach.

Just as she got a chance to fire, without risk of hitting James, he spun round abruptly as backup arrived for the lone henchman. He charged into her. "Remember to bend your knees!"

"Bend my - OOmph" The air was knocked out of her as James gripped her waist tightly. Next thing she knew, she was free falling backwards. Quite how she was supposed to know when to bend her knees was beyond her. All she could see was cracked old stone rushing by and at least a dozen Intergang members where she had previously been standing.

In less than a moment she was slamming into the unforgiving ground. As she lay there struggling to breathe, her entire body crying out from the impact, Jane suddenly had a whole new understanding of just how painful Paddy Doyle's final moments must have been. That thought sent a whole new wave of agonising sensations through her body, this time emotional. She supposed she could at least be thankful she wasn't bleeding out from two bullet holes.

And as if the universe was just trying to fuck with her, that was when the gunfire started.

James jumped up beside her. Eyes fixed on the aforementioned file. Scarlet having left it behind in her haste to retreat from the shoot-out. "Cover me!"

And before Jane could even respond, before she was even sure she could move, he was off and running.

Inhaling as best she could, Jane pulled herself from the ground, thankful the bad guys seemed to be such lousy shots.

"James! What are you doing?" Raising her weapon, she returned fire. Ducking down beside the raised area.

"Going for the file."

Bullets started to fly more heavily in James' direction, as Jane did her best to hold them off. Sure she'd hit at least two guys. She was trying not to panic. Terrified the chained children would be harmed. She couldn't be responsible for another childs death. She just couldn't... Thankfully their instincts were serving them well, and they were keeping themselves low to the ground and hidden behind columns where possible.

Doing her best to get a number on the bad guys while mentally tallying how much ammunition she had, Jane knew they had to leave soon. "Really? I don't think now's the time to be worrying about that!"

Jane heard an exultant 'gotcha!' from behind her and assumed he had retrieved the file. Eager to get gone, Jane turned to her partner ready to demand they leave. "James-"

A look of fear and her name being shouted greeted her. Registering the sound to her right a moment too late, Jane spun, arm raised to protect herself, only to feel a blade slice through and along her stomach. "HNNN!"

"JANE!"

James watched in horror as his friend dropped to the ground clutching her side, desperately trying to stem the blood flow. Cursing himself for not being able to ignore the file, he jumped down beside the former detective, ready to take out the pig who had harmed her.

He needn't have worried. Jane swung her arm up and fired a bullet through the skull of the man who was baring down on her at point blank range. As blood and brain matter spattered her, James reached down and pulled her up and out from under the dead mans body.

Relieving her of her weapon, he laid down cover fire as Jane stumbled towards an exit. Firing the last bullets he made a run for it. Just clearing the room before they returned fire.

* * *

><p>"Ouch!"<p>

"Can you please try and not move." James was knelt down beside a seated Jane, doing his best to wrap her wound. "I know it hurts, but you're making it impossible to tie this."

"Oh, it hurts? I hadn't noticed! I was just flinching in pain for the fun of it."

As James tied off the strip of ripped shirt, Jane grunted as pain radiated once more through her body. Looking down at the now covered wound she couldn't help but think of the numerous other scars that covered her body. Too many. A disturbing amount having been accumulated over the past year. She was tired. Tired of running, tired of searching, tired of the dead ends, false hopes and failings.

"So what now?" She hated to admit it, but she thought that maybe it was time to head home and regroup. Looking down at James, she thought he probably needed it too. He seemed tired. They'd been through a lot since they had left Boston. Too much to even try and process while still away.

"Home."

Jane looked up in surprise. She hadn't expected James to be thinking along the same lines.

"To Archie."

Jane laughed to herself a little. Wincing in pain from the slight movement. Of course he wasn't thinking what she was.

"He was working on some things when we last spoke, but there was nothing solid. We need to regroup and recover… and I want to see him."

Something in his voice caught her attention but she couldn't figure out what. She studied him a moment longer, then shrugged in agreement. After all, as much as she missed Boston, missed home. She wasn't ready to face what waited for her back there. Not ready to know if anything… anyone… was waiting. "Sure. Let's go see Archie. I'm curious to meet the guy anyway."

"I think you'll like him. He's a good man. Taught me a lot." He smiled wistfully, missing his friend. His family.

Jane smiled softly in return. "I look forward to it. So where does he live anyway?"

A suspiciously wide grin appeared on her best friends face. "Oh… I think I'm going to keep that one a secret."

As Jane protested vocally, James merely laughed merrily.


	14. Week 26

**A/N: **This chapter's fairly short. The next one's fairly long though, so that should make up for it. I should be posting that in the next day or so. I'm planning on having this story finished by the time season 3 starts, so I've got a lot to get through in a fairly short space of time.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Week 26<strong>

Jane had never been a big reader. Not by a long shot. As a child, it meant if there was time to read there was time to run and play. In the evenings it meant there was time to do her homework or chores. As she got older it meant there was time to watch a game on TV, grab a drink with colleagues and friends or catch up on some much needed sleep; and up until a year ago, it meant time she could be spending with her very best friend.

It didn't mean she avoided all reading. On the contrary, sometimes she liked to unwind in bed with a good book or a magazine. And when she did read, she liked books about far away places. Places she knew she'd never get the chance to see. It was a way of seeing the world without actually going. The pyramids of Egypt, the White Cliffs of Dover, the Sydney Opera house, the Amazon rain forest. Wonderful things in far off exotic places. She had figured she'd be lucky if she made it to a handful of states before she died.

Right now, she was counting herself real lucky.

_The Himalayas (57 km East of Nanda Parbat)_

Snow capped mountains as far as the eye could see. It was beautiful. Colourful wild flowers were growing in patches all around. Birds flying overhead, and the crisp cool air was refreshing.

Getting out of Yemen undetected had been a trial. A slow escape moving only when they knew for certain they wouldn't be seen. That meant many nights spent creeping through the dark, avoiding all contact with people where possible. Her wound had been stitched up by a back alley doctor, but it was a poor job and as soon as they were across the border and certain they were free of any tails, James insisted she visit a hospital. The wound had been infected and she'd had to stay over night. A course of antibiotics prescribed and a newly re-stitched wound and they were on their way.

And here they were…

Looking over at James, he had the biggest smile on his face. He was home. Clearly not where he was born, but Jane was a believer in 'Home is Where the Heart is.' James' was clearly here.

"It's beautiful." Clouds of condensation appeared in the air with each breath and word spoken.

Bundled up in a thick faux-fur collared mountain coat and a base layer under her regular clothes, Jane was handling the cold okay.

"Wait 'till you see the village. You're gonna love it!"

The joy was overflowing in his voice and Jane felt her heart warm. She was happy for her friend.

Standing in an open space, not far from the foot of a mountain, Jane picked a beautiful red flower. Something about it reminded her of Maura. Perhaps it was it's natural elegance so reminiscent of the doctor? She stared at it, eyes unfocused. Lost in her thoughts.

"JAMES!"

Looking up at the voice, the two friends spun round to find two men descending a steep snow covered incline. One rushing down, slipping and sliding all over the place, desperately trying to maintain his balance; the other, slowly but surely finding his way down along a non-existent path.

James' smile grew impossibly wider. "Archie! You made it to the middle of nowhere!"

The stumbling man, no doubt the one who called out, shouted his reply back. "With the help of several chartered jets and a state of the art GPS system, yes. WhaA-"

The two partners laughed to themselves as Archie finally lost the fight with gravity and fell, but he quickly jumped straight to his feet. "How did you fair?"

"Heh, much the same. Couldn't get as close as I normally do though. Spent the last week on foot."

Jane eyed Archie closely. Taking in as much detail as possible now that she had the chance to finally meet James' mystery friend.

A little shorter than James and sporting an English accent, he seemed older than she expected. She'd hazard a guess that he was in his late 40's. He didn't seem to stop smiling, though that may just be because he was getting to see his friend.

Straightening his clothing, he approached, throwing his arms around his friend for a hug. Pulling back he looked James over, then focused his attention on Jane quickly before looking once again at his friend. "Forgive me _'phwoo',_ I'm a tad breathless. Altitude, you know, haven't acclimated yet. Is this your friend?"

"Absolutely. Archibald Peabody, meet Jane Rizzoli. Jane, meet Archie."

Extending their hands, they gave each other a firm shake.

"Pleasure! I've heard a lot about you."

Jane couldn't help but shake her head at James a little. "Likewise. I've heard very little about you."

Archie laughed heartily at that. "That sounds like James. You almost know what he's thinking at the best of times."

As his two friends made small talk and got acquainted, James called over to his other friend who still stood someway up the incline. "Henry! You coming down here or not?"

"Going down is easy, right up to when you hit the bottom. Ask any drop of water. The hard part is climbing up again.

"Isn't that right, Jane?"

Jane looked up at the severe looking man, Long brown hair moving in the gentle wind with arms crossed, looking directly at her as if he knew her. She bristled at the assumption and the knowing look he was throwing her way. Voice low she looked over to her friend. "James, who the hell is this guy?"

"Henry Pendragon. He's a teacher, the real deal. He taught me everything I know, and he's just told you that class is now in session."

He looked from Jane to Henry, grinning.

Jane stood there, unsure what to say and undecided on whether she was pissed off or not.


	15. Week 27

**Week 27**

It feels like time stands still in Nanda Parbat. Hidden in the mountains, it stands proudly and undisturbed by the modern trappings of mankind. Sturdy homes - less than twenty - and a handful of other buildings. The only thing larger than life being the huge temple reaching up to the sky like a mountain peak, blending effortlessly with its natural surroundings.

Jane rarely see's the other inhabitants of the village. She knows they're there. The tell tale smoke drifting from their chimneys indicating life inside. Occasionally she'll see people moving to and from the temple or out gathering firewood. Mostly though it's just James, Archie, Henry and herself.

Days, weeks, months… She can no longer tell how much time has passed. Life in the seemingly timeless village is defined by routines, not time.

Henry Pendragon. A teacher, James had said on their arrival. His teacher. Without knowing it, she had apparently signed up for class, and class was most definitely in session. He was now her teacher.

Right now, just like every morning, she was doing laps of the village. To say she felt ridiculous in her skin tight workout outfit would be an understatement, but it was the only way to protect herself from the freezing ass cold without overheating. Breathable clothing, one of sciences little miracles!

After the second day she had stopped counting laps. It was a pointless exercise in futility. Easier to just commit to the long haul and keep running. She would be told when she was done.

As she drove her burning muscles onwards, long legs working their way up a steep incline, Jane contemplated her lessons.

Henry was teaching her. Just what, she didn't know. Mind and body was being pushed to the limit. She'd barely had a chance to put her bag of meagre belongings down before Henry dragged her outside and ran through drills with her. Fitness and fighting drills, meditation techniques, question after question was thrown at her. It was relentless. An endless barrage of tests and assessments. She was finally excused when what she assumed to be the beginnings of the early hours of the morning arrived. After a quick meal she had collapsed on her bed and fallen into a deep dreamless slumber. A few hours later, she had been woken up.

Day after day she was pushed to her physical limit, only to be faced with a mental challenge. Henry told her she had to stop running away and learn to run with. He said she had to learn to let go.

Easier said than done. When she asked how, he would reply "acceptance."

Running along a cliff top, she passed the entrance to a meditation cave. She hated it with a passion. Having to spend what felt like an eternity each day sat in there by herself. Pristine sheets of ice surrounding her, reflecting her image back. The cold penetrating every pore in her skin. It was impossible not to face herself, in every direction there she was. Surrounded. Trapped. Looking inwards had never been easy for her, now, with the events of the last 14 months weighing down on her, it was near impossible.

"Cherish it." Henry says. "The cold, the pain, the frustration, the heartache. Only when you want it to stay will you learn to release it."

She'd thrown her fist through one of her many reflections then. The shards of ice shattering and flying in all directions. "If I cherish it, I won't want it to leave." The frustration was plainly evident, but Henry stood there as all knowing as ever.

"Someone else once said the same thing. I'll tell you what I told him… Nobody said this was easy."

Jane snorted to herself as she left the cave behind. Henry Pendragon ladies and gentleman.

Rounding the cliff edge, the village once again in sight, Jane saw smoke curling up from Archie's place.

Archie. Doctor Archibald Peabody. He spends his days pouring over the file James retrieved. There had been a USB drive in the folder. All sorts of encryptions or some such computer techie talk that Jane didn't really understand. That had always been Frost's job.

Archie divided much of his day between going over what was written down, cross referencing it with what he knew and had on file, adding new information where relevant; and doing his best to crack the encrypted drive.

There was a lot in that pesky file, and she was beginning to feel that the additional scar to her collection might have been worth it. They were going to hit a break soon. She could feel it.

Archie said it was filled with records of current, ongoing and just finished operations. Lists of those unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire of dirty dealings. Long term operations yet to go ahead. With only a little imagination, he said the file would read like a cautionary tale, filled with grim prophecies, stories and parables that extort the virtues of rape and murder and extortion and blackmail.

It was light reading, obviously. Jane could only imagine what was on the encrypted file.

Reaching the village, lungs burning along with her arms and legs, Jane saw Henry nod infinitesimally at her. Making a beeline for her place, she stripped off her clothing and started emptying buckets of room temperature water she had prepared first thing that morning, in to the bath.

As she settled into the tub, the water beginning to cleanse away the hard work of that morning, Jane's thoughts drifted to James.

With her "lessons" consuming so much of her time, she didn't get to see him as much as she'd like. When he could he'd sit in on her physical training sessions. Often he'd just perch himself on a rock and watch her closely.

James… What did her friend James do while she worked on herself? James coughs.

It had started just after they had arrived. He said it was the altitude, that he was having trouble acclimating. Jane had been the physically out of shape one of the pair, but he was having trouble acclimating.

She would watch him, when he was around and not watching her. She'd watch him. See him double over in a coughing fit, then look over at her with too false a smile on his face.

Henry made him tea, uses acupuncture, massages, pressure points. Archie gives him a whole damn pharmacy in pills.

As the cool water became as unbearable as the revelation she'd just had, Jane ran the cloth over her body one last time before stepping out of the bath. Quickly drying herself off and throwing on some clothes. He's sick. He's sick and he's not getting better.

Guilt washes over her as she wonders if he hasn't been sick for a while, and she'd just been too wrapped up in herself to notice. His slow recovery after their escape from the Congo jail suddenly making much more sense.

Coming to a decision, she pulls on her coat and boots and steps outside.

Walking through the snow, Jane see's him seated on the side of a snow covered rocky incline, bent over head in his hands… coughing. She's scared for him. The dots are all connecting.

As the crunch crunch of her boots draw nearer, he looks up smiling grimly at her. "Sounds worse than it is."

Shoving hands deeper into her pockets, the brunette looks about pensively. "I'm wondering how that's possible." Stopping before her friend, she looks him in the eye, hoping she's wrong. "When'd you quit?"

He gifts her with a sad smile. "Not soon enough."

She closes her eyes, as if by shielding herself from seeing the world it can also shield herself from the pain. When that inevitably fails to work she sinks to the ground. Not caring about the cold and wet snow that will seep through her clothing.

Arms thrown over her knees, head bowed, she feels as if the rug's been pulled from beneath her feet. Heart heavy with grief. "How long have you known?"

"About seven months."

A couple weeks before they met… before he found her.

"How long you have?"

"Not long."

The acceptance in his voice breaks her heart all the more. She shifts closer, resting her head on his arm. They sit together in contemplative silence for sometime before James speaks up again. "Archie says it's metastasized."

It's too much. Once again it's all too much. Emotion breaking her voice, she asks. "Why me, James? Seven billion people, why me?"

He stands, looking down at her. "That's the question isn't it?"

Coughing as he walks away, Jane can only give in to her emotions. Slumping forwards she lets the tears fall.

* * *

><p>Archie, James and Henry were gathered around the computer. Archie staring intently at one of the screens, while occasionally typing away on the keyboard.<p>

Jane wandered in mid discussion.

"…So while I'm most likely halfway there, it's pretty much gobbledegook until I can decipher the second level of encryption."

Looking briefly at the first screen, Jane sees nothing but line after line of nonsense, with a random word appearing occasionally. "Archie?"

"Jane, my dear! I didn't hear you come in. We're close. I've cracked the first layer. That would be why you can read the occasional word or so on that screen. I'm hoping I'll have the second layer any moment now."

Watching as James left the room, coughing violently, Jane half listens as Henry starts reading the random words.

"Brookline… Degree… Doyle."

Henry has Jane's full attention now. That name never meant anything good, and while there was more than one Doyle in the world, her gut was practically screaming at her that she wasn't going to like what they were about to uncover.

Pointing at the screen showing the half decoded words, Jane speaks up. "What is this? Do you know?"

Still typing eagerly, Archie responds without looking at her. "Just a random file on the drive I opened. I wanted to see how I was doing… Ahhh! Here we are."

From her position a few feet back from the computer, she watches as Archie starts skimming through the files. Opening them up, closing them.

"Oh, my. She's stunning. I wonder what she did to get on their hit list."

Henry leans in, blocking the screen. "Stunning? She's beautiful."

Jane jumps up. Positive she knows what she's going to see, and that she's not going to like it one bit. Pushing aside the men, she's greeted with an image that makes her heart ache. _No. No. No. No. No._

Rearing back, fear plainly evident, Jane scans the room. "Oh no, oh no-"

Running into the next room, straight past James, she starts rummaging through it. Moving everything she can lay her hands on, desperate to find what she's looking for.

James latches onto her arm. "Easy, Jane. What's-"

She wrenches her arm back. "I've got to get to a phone, I have to call home, I have to-"

Henry and Archie join them in the adjoining room, catching Jane's desperate plea for the phone.

Archie unsure of exactly what's wrong, speaks up. "There is no phone, Jane. This is a retreat. A place away from the constraints of modern technology."

Jane looks pointedly in the direction of the computer set up in the other room.

"Ah, yes. Well that was brought in especially for the encrypted file, and it's not connected to the web."

Jane's voice is filled with desperation. "A satellite phone, then? Anything!"

James edges closer towards the skittish woman.

"I've got to call her, James! We have to warn her!"

"Who? Jane, you're not-"

Jane storms into the next room, the three men close behind. Jamming her finger into the screen, she practically screams. "Look at the damn screen! It's Maura! They're going to KILL MAURA!"


	16. Week 28

**A/N:** Just want to give a huge thanks and shout out to **Harrytoad **for looking this chapter over before I put it up. If you haven't been reading her story "Slow Burn to Happiness" may I suggest you read it right now! It's amazing!

Now back to the story... Our Janey is home! :D

* * *

><p><strong>Week 28<strong>

"She's not going to show."

"Yes, she will."

"No, she won't."

Sounding as if he were tired of explaining something rather simple repeatedly to a child, James continued to read his paper as he explained. "Jane, we called and left close to a dozen messages on her home, parents home, cell and work numbers. We texted, emailed and for the sake of thoroughness, even mailed her. '_koff koff' _She'll show."

Jane looked over at her friend. She hated it when he coughed. When he coughed, she couldn't forget that he was dying. Unsure what to say, she looked over his shoulder and read the headline on the paper. **"BPD admits unprepared for sudden wave of gang violence!"**

"You're just nervous because the last time you saw her, she punched you in the mouth."

Jane lightly rubbed at her jaw. "Thanks for reminding me. I prefer to remember when she saved our asses not long after."

Pacing back and forth near the park entrance, not far from where they met previously, she glanced back at James. She had tried to convince him not to come. He needed rest after the long journey. He'd stubbornly refused to leave her. As much as she hated that he was here, she loved him for it; she was nervous as hell.

"I'm nervous because we're meeting Maura at some ungodly hour when Intergang's got a hit out on her. She hates me." James gave her a sharp look at that declaration. "And...she might not show. It's a lot to deal with right now."

"You're the one that couldn't wait 'till morning and refused to tell her why it was so urgent that she meet us."

He sounded tired. Really tired. Jane felt guilt working its way through her. He should really be with his friends, with Henry and Archie, while he still could, not with her trying to save someone he didn't know, from something they weren't sure would happen.

"She needs to know everything, and she needs to know now. Bet the damn butler at her Mom's never even told her I called."

"Moan, moan, moan."

"Oh, bite me!"

"That would be very unsanitary. The number of bacteria in the mouth runs into the billions. The risk of infection is extremely high. I would advise against such actions."

Jane spun around, eyes wide. Maura.

Despite the bite to her words, the anger underlying the normal Googlemouthing plainly evident, Jane couldn't help but smile. Maura was just as lovely and well put together as ever.

"Now please stop trying to call me." James joined her, standing beside her in silent support. Maura spared a brief look at him. She didn't look happy.

"We've been trying to reach you…"

Maura cut her off before she could finish.

"Congratulations, you did. Goodbye." Turning on her expensive heels, she started to walk away, Jane staring despondently at the ground. So of course, James stepped up, speaking loudly as if to Jane. "She doesn't even want to know why '_koff'_ we've gone to this trouble. Too bad really. We might have important information, maybe about Intergang. Or how there's going to be an assassination attempt on her life three nights from now."

Maura froze mid-step, turning back to face the two of them. Walking back, she looked hard at the frail looking man. "Intergang is something you should speak to lieutenant Cavanaugh about. Let me hear about the second part."

Jane stepped forward; handing Maura some clipped together pages. "Take a look. It's taken from their database, tucked amongst a list of other potential hits. That date at the top there, we think that's when they're going to strike. You need to be prepared."

* * *

><p>Back in their van, they followed Maura home. Her real home. Not the ridiculously overpriced towering pile of bricks that Constance now resided in. Pulling up in the driveway, Jane jumped out and waited for Maura to exit her car. As the honey-blonde joined her, Jane braced herself. Face deadly serious and all business, she told the M.E. how it was going to go.<p>

"You wait here with James while I go inside and make sure the house is clear. I know we think the attempt will be in three days, but I'm not taking that chance. It can't hurt to be too careful. Once that's done, James and I will keep watch out here. You see or hear anything unusual, you let us know right away. Tomorrow we'll escort you to work, then you can get Frost or Korsak to arrange a security detail for you."

Maura's expression grew tighter with each passing second. "Barry and Vince will not be dragged into this. They have enough work with the crime spree currently rampaging through Boston. You don't get to just show up in my life and start making demands Jane! You did that month's ago. I won't make the same mistake again."

"This isn't a game Maura. These people want to kill you. They know you're Doyle's daughter." Both women winced at the name. The man that had unintentionally broke them. "You'll tell them because they love you and they'll keep you safe. I trust them to keep you safe."

"This isn't about what you want Jane. You have no part in my life now."

Though she'd been certain Maura felt that way, hearing the words out loud felt like a physical blow. Closing her eyes she drew in a calming breath, not wanting to lose her rapidly crumbling temper and her emotional grip on the situation. Jane's voice was low when she finally spoke. "I know that. I know you want nothing to do with me. That 'whatever we were is now over'."

It was Maura's turn to flinch. Not liking her own words being thrown back in her face.

"But I'm not going to leave you vulnerable. Once this is done you never have to speak to me again. Never have to see me again. I'll even leave Boston if that's what you want. I get it. You hate me. That's fine. I've had to accept that, but I'll be damned if I'm going to watch you die because of it!"

Maura's expression was impossible to read, but it wasn't at all what Jane expected. "Leave Boston? Hate you? Jane, I don't…I'm angry because you just left."

"What? I left?" Jane stared incredulously at the woman before her. "Are you fucking kidding me?" So much for keeping her temper. Jane's voice grew louder with each passing moment. "You're mad because I left Boston? I don't even…Really?"

Voice dropping dangerously low, she leaned into Maura. "You wouldn't even look at me after I shot Doyle; the man who kidnapped you. The man who held you hostage in your own home at gunpoint. You didn't speak to me for seven months. You left me a fucking note. A NOTE! You told me that I was nothing to you, and you're mad at me? You're angry at me?" An unstable laugh escaped the brunette. "Is this a joke? Did you finally develop a twisted sense of humour? I…"

Incensed, she tossed her hands up in the air, unable to articulate just what she was thinking and feeling. Not really knowing herself just what her emotions were.

Maura drew in a shaky breath before speaking. Unable to tear her eyes away from Jane's. "I thought that we were finally starting to address our problems or perchance we had an opportunity to. Out of the blue you're knocking on my door, then you're almost killed and then you disappeared. Six months, Jane. You were gone for almost six months! Where were you? "

"I'm in the twilight zone. I must be. What does it matter where I was or what I've done? You just said I have no part in your life." Jane moved impossibly closer to the petite woman. "Maura, you're the one that ended us. You. You're the one that left. I tried. For weeks, I tried. I tried so hard it broke me. I gave up everything. I walked away from my life because you leaving hurt so much. So don't you dare accuse me of leaving. You did it first." Jane paused. She wanted to make sure she had the woman's full attention. Eyes locked, Jane spoke clearly and evenly. Everything she felt for her former friend wrapped up in the following words. "You broke my heart. I won't have you doing it again."

Maura stood in stunned silence as Jane stood accusingly before her; breathing in deeply to calm herself. "I…" Words failed the M.E. All this time and she hadn't truly considered how her actions had affected the woman before her. She'd been angry for so long. Angry and hurt. Then when Jane had left the BPD, the sadness that had been so prevalent in her life before she moved to Boston returned. She still had her friends at the precinct, but it wasn't the same. Evenings were no longer filled with laughter, movie nights and long talks. Instead she had an empty house, a glass of wine and a Tortoise. What once had been more than adequate had become desperately lacking. She threw herself into her work and charity projects. She had all the time she had dreamed of to reconnect with her quickly healing mother.

It hadn't been enough.

By the time she came to that realisation, months had passed since that fateful day in the burnt out warehouse. Months since she had spoken to Jane. Months since she had seen her face. She missed that face, with its warm eyes and cheeky smiles. She wanted to change that. Wanted to see if they could fix things, but she had no idea how, and the idea of simply confronting Jane didn't once enter her brilliant mind. As she'd told Jane once, she didn't know how to ask for things. It was something she failed at completely as a child, and it was still something she struggled with as an adult. Especially when such high emotions were involved.

Over time as the sadness mingled with the anger and hurt, it turned into resentment, which in turn made her even angrier, which is why when Jane had shown up so unexpectedly after nine months at her mother's, she had channelled that anger physically, and quite unexpectedly she had found her fist connecting with Jane's jaw. When Jane blocked the second physical blow, the pent up rage seemed to flow out of her. The loneliness reared its ugly head and she had soaked in Jane's presence; given into her need for a moment. Just for a moment.

Having asked Jane to leave, she had excused herself from the charity event then curled up in a ball on her bed. Jane's proclamation of love had shaken her to the core. Her whole world had tilted on its axis. She had cried for hours that night, sometimes desperately clawing at her chest where her heart resided, as if she could pull the pain from it. With the sunrise came the beginning of her acceptance of all that had happened.

It was why she had helped Jane. Why she had followed her to Crown-Merrick Holding. Pointing her gun at that brutes head had come naturally. She wasn't going to lose Jane when life had presented an opening for them to reconnect. And then Jane was gone.

"I'm sorry." The words were so quiet she wasn't sure Jane had heard them.

"Don't apologise to me, Maura. It's not necessary. Just…stay safe. Please."

The two women, merely inches apart, were unable to move but had no idea what to say.

Seeing this as a safe opportunity to interrupt, James stepped out of the van; the door opening and slamming shut breaking the silent exchange of emotions. "Jane? Why don't you go inside and clear the house? It's been a long night. I think Dr. Isles here could use some rest."

Avoiding eye contact, Maura spoke up. "Come inside. Both of you. The van will hardly be a comfortable place to spend the night. If you insist on staying, then one of you may as well get some decent rest while the other is on watch."

As the two former friends finally looked at one another, James took the lead and approached the house, the two women trailing behind.

Taking Maura's offered key, Jane stepped inside the house that a year ago had been home.

* * *

><p><em>Three nights later<em>

Using long ago learnt self-defence techniques, Maura flipped her assailant over her back, her foot slamming down on his chest. The groan from the dropped man echoed through the near empty gallery.

"So much for an assassination attempt." The words sounded flippant. Maura wasn't panicking yet. She knew Jane and James were nearby. They were probably already racing through the building on their way towards her.

Grabbing her leg and forcing a retreat, the man rolled to his feet. "You're a fool . You shouldn't have messed in our business. Saving those interfering nobodies at Crown-Merrick put you on our radar." He made a grab towards her, but Maura ducked out the way. Where were Jane and James? Worried that something had happened to her two protectors, Maura looked around for an escape. Too late, she realised. He had backed her into a corner.

"We know who you are, Doctor."

The man's leering smile was starting to make her stomach churn. "You don't scare me." The shake in her voice said otherwise.

"Of course not ." The man raised his previously tucked away gun and walked towards her. "Goodbye, Doctor. Please give your father our deepest thanks for dying. It gave us the opportunity we were seeking."

The barrel pressed to her forehead, Maura closed her eyes tight, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You talk to much!"

Maura's eyes snapped open in time to see Jane punching the assassin. He dropped like a stone, and Maura slumped against the wall, the tears of fear turning into relief.

Jane rushed to her, an arm tentatively reaching forward, but not touching the shaking woman. "You okay? Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head and heard Jane let out a relieved sigh.

The former detective snapped round as a bump sounded behind them. The Intergang member was making a run for it. She called to James at the back of the room. "STOP HIM! Don't let him escape!"

As the two men engaged, it became quickly evident that James wouldn't be able to subdue him. He had been growing weaker by the day and the assassin was a wall of muscle.

Jane scrambled to reach the two struggling men, but she had reacted too late, and watched in dismay as James took a knee to the gut and fell. She gave chase, but he had a car waiting outside the building. Frustrated, Jane made her way back inside.


	17. Week 30

**Week 30**

_I hate all of this._

Despite the winter chill outside, the sun shone brightly down on Boston; and much like its heat did little to warm the city and its inhabitants, being home was doing little to warm Jane.

"So does he make house calls for all his patients…"

_I hate that cancer is eating James alive._

Jane stood beside Maura in the guest bedroom doorway. Half her attention focused on James, the other being where it shouldn't right now. The dying man was tucked up in bed, Dr. Benton injecting him full of some drug or other to help ease his pain.

"…Or is this a 'special' arrangement between you and Karl over there?"

_I hate that even with my best friend dying, I can still be jealous._

Stepping away from the room the two women slowly walked through the living room. Jane had a headache. A headache that didn't seem to want to leave. Rubbing her forehead; eyes fixed on the floor, she wondered what to say. What could she possibly say?

"I'm not having sex with him if that's what you're asking."

Maura didn't sound annoyed, she was just speaking in that perfectly frank tone of hers. She had missed that. If she'd had it in her, she would have grinned. Emotions settling at the revelation, Jane felt some of the tension in her body leave.

"No? That wasn't the impression you gave me back in July." And yet she couldn't help but dig a little.

_I hate that all I have now are questions._

They came to a standstill in front of a bookcase. A few photos on display, Jane took her time studying them. She hadn't seen them before. The frames that housed the pictures used to hold snapshots of her and Maura, now she was looking at the Isles family. Despite the sting of her removal, she hungrily took in all the details on display. She'd missed the woman beside her. Missed getting to know her.

"As much as I'm loathe to play games, you weren't the only one looking to score points that day."

The old Jane; the Jane before the Congo, and Yemen, and Henry Pendragon would have jumped in. Attempted to defend herself. Proclaim innocence to any perceived 'game playing' back then, temper flaring. The new Jane however did not. Life was far too short to get hung up on the little insignificant details. "Doesn't matter."

Maura's surprise was ill hidden. Jane usually bit so easily. Eyes running over the down-turned face of her former…'friend?', she wondered what had brought about such drastic changes in her. Everything about her was different now. Physically she was somehow even thinner, there were some lingering signs of malnutrition, headaches seemed to be a common occurrence and she was also harder. Jane had always been toned, but from what little she had seen the lines of her musculature were more pronounced. She held herself differently too. She'd always been a confident woman, but there was sureness there now. The wildness had been tempered. A sadness lingered, and her eyes held a knowing wisdom.

Aside from their reconciliatory argument, the once hotheaded and sometimes brash former detective seemed to have a handle on her emotions, particularly her temper. She let things go that previously would have incensed and wound her up. Maura had found herself occasionally trying to push Jane's buttons in an attempt to see that fire again; a glimpse of her once best friend.

Even if their relationship returned to what it once was, Jane was no longer the same person. So while Jane had played a part in the death of her farther, Maura was coming to realize that she had brought about the death of Detective Jane Rizzoli. The woman beside her was almost a stranger.

Jane picking up one of the picture frames interrupted Maura's thoughts.

"This you? How old are you in this?"

Jane could hear Maura sigh. She wondered if she would speak her mind.

"Yes, that's me. I was nineteen."

_And not one answer._

Maura stepped in closer, reaching for the photo, and pulling it from Jane's tight grip before placing it back on the shelf. A charged silence filled the air.

"Maura?" The two women looked up at the approaching doctor.

_James and I left Boston almost six months ago._

"I gave him morphine to help with the pain. You're going to see the onset of bouts of delirium soon, with declining moments of lucidity."

Stopping in front of them, he looked at Jane. "You should consider admitting him to a hospital."

Jane immediately tensed, hands clenching into fists. "Why? So he can go in and never come out?"

It was the closest Maura had seen to Jane reacting in days, and guilt crept through her at the relief she felt at Jane's display of anger, as it was clearly a sign of the brunette's pain.

_We came back to save Maura's life._

"Jane." The protest was half-hearted at best. She had a valid point. She agreed with Karl, but she knew Jane needed time. The woman was processing a lot in that moment.

_We succeeded._

As Jane walked away from the two doctors. Hand pressed to her pounding head, she failed to see the looks of concern and compassion on both of their faces.

"He might be more comfortable there, that's all."

_But it's costing James his._

Maura walked Dr. Karl Benton to the door, speaking softly. "They're both staying here for now."

"Then I'll see what I can do about setting up hospice care."

Karl lingered a little longer than necessary at the door, and Maura watched him go, a slight frown on her features.

_I don't even know what it's going to cost me._

Closing the front door, Maura turned to face Jane. Watching as the stoic woman gazed out the living room window.

Jane's voice was tight and barely above a whisper. "I'll take him to the hospital tomorrow." A quiet sob escaping, she brought a hand to her face.

"I already told you, you and James could stay for as long as you like."

Swiping the back of her hand across her eyes, Jane turned to face Maura. "I'm not going to impose more than I already have."

"You were evicted from you apartment, Jane. You hadn't paid rent in six months. Where are you going to go if you leave? You going to live out of James' van?"

Maura's voice was rising steadily. Jane really was the only person who managed to affect her so easily.

"I've stayed in worse places."

"Stop being so damn stubborn! Just accept what I'm offering, all right?" The anger drained from her in that moment. "Please, Jane."

Even now, after everything, facing those wide deceptively innocent looking eyes, Jane did not stand a chance. "Okay."

Looking at one another, the moment stretched out as neither woman moved; could move. The air filled with a once familiar tension, shattering as quickly as Maura's phone started to ring. Reaching down to answer her phone, Jane was the first to look away.

"Isles."

Hanging up a moment later, Maura placed a warm hand on Jane's forearm, squeezing gently. She wasn't sure exactly what she was trying to say, but she needed Jane to know she was there. "I have to go. There's a body. I probably won't be back until late. Don't wait up."

As Maura picked up her bag and left, Jane resisted the urge to insist on accompanying the M.E. and returned to the window for a moment, lacking the energy to have the same argument with the now exiting woman, knowing she'd lose. She watched Maura leave. '_Don__'__t wait up'._

Jane smiled a little. It felt foreign. With James slowly dying in the next room, there was precious little to smile about these days. She could feel it though, the undeniable connection. She and Maura were slowly growing closer again, emotional walls falling. There was still so much unsaid. Still unease and pain, but it was scarily easy to be with her, around her. They hadn't spoken much since the big argument on Maura's drive, hadn't had much alone time together at all. Maura was busy with work and her usual social and charitable engagements, and Jane spent most of her time with James. When they were together though, though they didn't say much, they gravitated towards each other. Just needing the other close. She wasn't sure what it meant.

Shaking off thoughts of Maura, she wandered into the spare room where James was in bed.

"She speak to Frost of Korsak yet?" James' once strong jovial voice wasn't more than a shaky whisper.

Jane put on her brave face. Leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed, she smiled at her dear friend. "Didn't ask. It seems like when I let go of my temper she picked it up."

"You should always…ask the question."

Jane laughed lightly. "Says the guy who can never answer one."

Walking to the bed, she sat down beside her sick friend, and reached out to take his hand. Holding it as tightly as she dared. "You mind if I sit with you a while?"

"I'm afraid. I'm…not very chatty…right now."

Standing, Jane looked back at him. "It's alright. I'm not either."

Picking a spot at the foot of the bed, Jane assumed the lotus position. Calming her mind and drifting into a deep meditation, James looked on from his slightly raised position, smiling at the healing woman.

* * *

><p>It was late. The midnight hour was fast approaching.<p>

Walking to her car that was parked a block away, Maura moved quickly. It wasn't the best neighborhood and she cursed herself for being so reckless. There was every chance Intergang would come back to finish the job. She had insisted that Jane not escort her to crime scenes. There had been a long back and forth, Jane not happy with her refusal to back down on her choice and her apparent lack of self preservation, but there had been little she could do. Maura had promised she'd be careful and not put herself in a position of vulnerability. That she'd talk to Barry and Vince. She hadn't yet. Drawing them into whatever was going on wasn't high on her list of priorities. If she were honest with herself, she was burying her head in the sand. It just felt like Patrick Doyle was once again making his presence felt in her life.

It was hard to reconcile her feelings of loss for her biological father with the man she had briefly known. He'd merely ghosted in and out of her life whenever he'd needed something. He held information over her head in order to get what he wanted. She didn't doubt that he loved her; she was just realizing that he used that love and her need to feel a familial connection for his own personal gain. She had traded the unconditional, constant love and support of her best friend for a mere glimpse of withheld love from an absent, manipulative father. Maura was convinced that for a genius she could be surprisingly stupid at times.

As her car came into view, she noticed someone leaning against the driver side door. Confident that the stranger had yet to see her, Maura looked around, trying to find somewhere she could keep out of sight. Seeing nowhere, she cursed herself for refusing Barry's offer to walk her to her car. Jane was going to be very angry with her. Assuming she survived that long.

"Going somewhere Dr. Isles?"

Letting out a surprised gasp, Maura turned to see a man appear from the shadows behind her. Seeing little option for retreat, Maura ran toward her vehicle. If she could somehow subdue the man in front of her, she could make an escape.

Hearing the 'click click' of her heels, the menacing dark burly figure turned towards her, a grin plastered across his face. Realizing he was waiting to see what she did, Maura decided to just charge the man, throwing everything she had into it.

Bodies colliding, they both tumbled to the ground. Shaken, Maura rolled to her feet as quickly as she could, but it wasn't fast enough. Eyes darting around, she realized she was going to have to try and stall until an opportunity to escape presented itself.

A little breathless, she spoke. "Why do you want me dead? I'm not a threat to you, and I don't believe for a second this is just about retaliation for what happened at Crown-Merrick. Patrick Doyle is dead. I can't be used to get to him."

"But by all rights you can assume his power. You're a smart woman Dr. Isles, and a medical examiner. You know how to make murder look like an accident."

The answer shocked Maura. Momentarily making her forget just how dangerous a situation she was currently in. "That's preposterous! I haven't the slightest inclination to assume power. Do I look like I want to run a crime family?"

"Doesn't matter."

The voice came from behind her, and Maura realized her second attacker had rejoined them.

"The other families are tired of the infighting. They've lost too much. They have agreed to more or less roll over if we get rid of you. Seems the Doyle "family" is lost without its fearless leader. You're their last hope."

Maura shook her head. This was ridiculous. How could anyone think she'd want that? That it was a serious option? Just how desperate were these people?

"Doesn't matter either way. You poked your nose where it didn't belong at Crown-Merrick. You were a dead woman walking the moment you interfered."

"Maura?"

_Barry!_

Spinning round while breathing in a deep lungful of air, Maura cried out. "BARRY! HE-" A hand was thrown over her mouth, clamping down hard.

"Dammit! Petrov, grab her legs. We'll stuff her in the car and finish this later."

Barry Frost started sprinting towards her. Maura struggled. The hand covering her mouth slipping, she bit down as hard as she could.

"AGHH! Fucking bitch!"

Free, Maura ducked the hands of Petrov and attempted to move around the man. Hands latched on from behind and spun her around. A vicious backhand sent her reeling as she felt her lip split.

"Dumb bitch. You'll pay for that."

"So will you." Barry's voice rang out behind her and she glanced back to see him throw a right cross, and Petrov dropping.

Maura's arms were grabbed in a vice grip.

"Keep back or I'll break her arms."

Barry smirked. Pulling his gun he locked eyes with Petrov's partner. "Yeah? Do that and I'll put a bullet in your skull. Who do you think will recover first?"

Long tense moments passed, and Maura watched as a groaning Petrov crawled towards his partner. A low growl sounded from her captor, then she was being shoved into Barry's arms. As he struggled to catch her without his weapon firing, the two men made their escape. He went to run after them, but Maura stopped him. "Don't. Not now. There will be other opportunities."

"Who were those people, Maura?"

Sounding as tired as she felt, Maura looked directly at detective Frost. "They work for Intergang."

Eye's large; the man fought back the urge to fire off a dozen questions at once. "Intergang? Why are members of Intergang trying to kill you?"

With nothing but a sigh, the exhausted doctor replied tiredly. "It's a long story, Barry. It can wait for now. I have had a long night. Why don't you stop by tomorrow and I'll fill you in."


	18. Week 32

**Week 32**

Maura stood in the doorway to her spare bedroom watching James sleep. Jane had left to go shower, and he'd tossed and turned non-stop, as if sensing her departure. 30 minutes later and he was finally sleeping peacefully once more.

Looking at the man, Maura was at a loss as to what to think about him. What to feel.

She didn't know him, having only really met him once. He'd seemed so cocky then; exuding vitality and giving off an air of sureness.

And now he was barely hanging on to life.

She'd been jealous of the man. Jealous that he had assumed her role in Jane's life. Jealous that he got to hear her hopes and fears. Jealous of the little jokes and sarcastic comments that he received instead of her. It hurt every time she heard Jane refer to him as her best friend; and now she felt bad about that because he was going to die. He was going to die, and Jane would once again lose her best friend.

She doubted the fact that it wasn't a willing departure this time would be of much comfort to the former detective.

"Maura!"

Spinning round at Jane's surprised utterance of her name, Maura watched as Jane approached.

Clad in a pair of sweats and a tank top, the brunette was towelling her hair dry.

"I thought you'd be in bed. Is he okay?" Jane's anxious face peered into the spare room, eyes running over the sleeping man.

"He's fine Jane. He was restless for a while after you left, but he settled eventually."

Looking on in concern, Maura watched as Jane visibly relaxed at her words. Yawning, one hand covering her mouth, the other moved into the air as she stretched with the yawn. Her tank top riding up in the process. Maura gasped at what she saw.

Jane's eyes flicked to the doctors as Maura stepped forward, one hand lifting the top back up and one pressing to Jane's scarred abdomen. Not registering that she was most likely crossing some personal boundaries right now. "Jane, what happened?"

The brunette stepped back away form the touch, pulling her top back down. "It doesn't matter. You should go to bed. It's late."

Ignoring the attempt at dismissal, Maura closed the gap between them. Pleading. "Please, Jane. That looks like it could have been life threatening. I see so many changes in you now, and I'm trying to understand them. What happened to you?"

Jane breathed in deeply. Unsure if she was ready for this conversation. She and Maura, while inhabiting the same house had barely spent time alone. While they had easily slipped into a comfortable routine, their familiarity with one another making it easy to co-exist, no issues had been addressed. The hard questions had remained unspoken.

Maura was trying to understand the changes in Jane, but Jane was struggling to understand Maura's motives. What did she want from her? It was safe to say she didn't hate her anymore… Or she'd put aside her hatred? This was the problem. She didn't trust Maura, and she couldn't trust her thoughts on the subject of the beautiful medical examiner. It was all so confusing.

Standing still, eyes closed, breathing deeply, thoughts running rampant, Jane calmed her mind. Sifting through her thoughts one by one. Taking all the time she needed.

Eyes opening, Jane realised being around Maura had clouded her focus. The lessons she'd learned just idling in her subconscious. She wasn't that person. Not now. Not anymore.

With one last deep breath, eyes boring into the woman before her, she asked, "Are you sure you want to know?"

Unable to speak, Maura nodded.

Jane gripped the hem of her tank top and pulled it over her head. Then swiftly pulled off her sweats. In nothing but her boy shorts and bra now, Jane displayed to Maura all the physical changes the doctor had wanted to see.

The smaller woman placed a shaking hand to her mouth, vision blurring with poorly held back tears, as the other reached out to once again touch the scarred woman before her. "What happened?"

It was a horrified whisper and Jane wondered if Maura really wanted to know, but continuing on nonetheless.

One by one Jane pointed to each of the scars now gracing her body. Stab wounds, burns, breaks, scrapes, on and on the list continued. Stomach, back, legs, arms, she spoke in excruciating detail of how she acquired each and every last mark now adorning her skin.

Maura's tears were in full flow by the time she finished speaking of her week of torture in the Congo. Each new detail causing the honey-blonde to shake her head, as if in refusal of the facts. Repeated whisperings of no escaping.

As the descriptions continued, the list slowly turned into a retelling of her time away. An almost fantastical tale of epic proportions was recounted. Barely moving, just looking at Maura. Using the beautiful woman to anchor herself to the present, she spoke of all she had been through. Openly weeping as she recalled the horrifying moment she killed the young girl, and smiling fondly speaking of her short time living in the Himalayas.

Her heart warmed as she spoke of the quiet moments with James. Those rare, few and far between times, when she really got to know the dying man in the next room.

Minutes turned into hours as Jane's story unravelled, then gradually drew to a close. Silence filling the room come the end.

Jane felt lighter. Finally acknowledging that talking about all the crazy depressing stuff that happens to you did help. She nibbled lightly on her lower lip, waiting for Maura's response.

She watched as the articulate woman open and closed her mouth, struggling to voice the words caught in her throat.

Jane waited. She had never been so exposed, and yet she had never felt so at ease with that exposure. Right now, Jane Rizzoli's emotions were an open book, and she was okay with that.

Jane waited. Watching as watery hazel eyes ran over her exposed body. She watched as soft warm hands approached, but stopped just shy of contact. The left hand hovering over the old self inflicted gunshot wound from her BPD days, and the right over the scar obtained in Yemen that stretched across her abdomen.

She watched as the doctor mumbled under her breath. Listening closely she heard the proper medical terms for her injuries and possible outcomes, complications and worst case scenarios. Every inch of her body was scrutinised as Maura processed.

Jane watched as the other woman's lips stopped moving, her gaze meeting her own. Stepping in close, Maura wrapped her arms around Jane, locking her in place and holding tightly, as if afraid the brunette might disappear at any moment.

Jane froze for an instant. She had been so sure that she'd never feel Maura's warm embrace again that she had given up even the idea of it. Locked within the strong arms, her stubbornness and resentment held out, and in that moment she wanted to push Maura away. For a moment, her heart screamed that this wasn't safe. That Maura wasn't safe.

For a moment.

And then the moment passed. Relaxing and leaning into the embrace, Jane finally felt like she had come home.

Maura tried to pull her impossibly closer. Her hands grabbing at bare skin as if looking for purchase, then balling into fists when she could find none.

A low sob emanated form the honey-blonde, and Jane scrambled for something to say. Maura beat her to it.

"You came back. You came back to me. You're okay."

Over and over the words were whispered. Maura's lips brushing against shoulder and neck as she pushed in as close as she could get, breathing her in.

Jane slowly rocked Maura from side to side. Trying to sooth the trembling woman. "I know, Maura. It's okay. I'm okay. Shh, don't be sad. I'm right here. I'm right here."

* * *

><p>Standing in Maura's kitchen, staring out into the freezing Boston night, Jane pulled her robe a little tighter around her self. Picking up her glass of water, she rejoined Maura at the dining table.<p>

"So Frost knows everything now. That's good. He can keep you safe when I can't." The weariness in her voice was strong.

Maura looked over at her. "You should get some rest. You're exhausted. You won't be able to keep anything safe if you're dead on your feet."

Scrubbing at her eyes with the backs of her hands, Jane struggled to stifle a yawn. "I'm fine. I'll sleep a little later."

Looking as if she wanted to say more, but refraining from doing so, Maura silently sipped from her water glass.

"How is he? Frost, I mean." Jane wouldn't look up as she asked the question.

"He's well. He wants to see you."

Jane stiffened in her seat. Maura reached out and squeezed her hand briefly.

"Don't worry. I told him now isn't the best time."

Both sets of eyes flickered towards the guest bedroom.

"He's not pushing hard. He just wants to see for himself that you're okay. He misses you. When you're ready, maybe you should think about it. Getting out for a few hours might make you feel better."

"And say what, Maur... a. Maura?" Jane looked around uncomfortably.

"You can call me Maur, Jane" Pausing for a second, Maura made a decision, nodding to herself as she made up her mind. "I never had a nickname before you came into my life… Well, one that wasn't meant in a negative way. I missed it. Missed hearing you say it." _Missed you._

Jane kept her focus on the glass in her hand.

"Why did you keep it?"

The shake in Maura's voice as well as the question caught Jane's attention. Brow furrowing in confusion, she asked. "Keep what?"

Throat suddenly dry, Maura swallowed down the lump in her throat. "When your lease expired, your landlord called me when he couldn't reach your mother. He didn't know what to do with your belongings. I arranged to have them removed and stored. When I arrived at your apartment, I found the…"

The words stuck in Maura's throat. Her emotions overwhelming her in that moment.

She looked to Jane. Hoping she'd answer without the need to hear her finish.

Jane's eyes were on hers, but there were no words forthcoming. Just a heartbroken gaze. It felt as if she were looking through her. Looking back to all those months ago.

"My letter-"

Jane was all at once back in the present. Eyes hardening marginally. "That wasn't a letter, Maura. It was twenty two words. Twenty two words that could have fit on a post-it."

Though there was no trace of anger of venom in her voice, the words were like a physical blow to Maura.

"M-my note. It was in your kitchen. It looked as if it had been there a while."

"It never left that spot." Jane's voice was monotone. It frightened Maura.

Opening and closing her mouth a few times, she finally spoke. "Why?"

Dark eyes stared sightlessly out at nothing. They seemed lost in deep thought. Countless emotions flickering across her expressive face, Maura watched in deep fascination as she tried to read the woman opposite her, as it had once been so easy to do.

Gradually, Jane came back to the moment.

"A number of things. I wanted to understand. In those twenty two words I wanted to figure out how it was so easy for you to walk away."

Maura opened her mouth to speak, but Jane held up her hand to stop her. She wasn't done.

"I wanted the reminder of what I'd done to you. To us. I hurt you. I deserved the pain.

"And it was all I had left of you. I couldn't let it go. If I threw out those twenty two words, then your anger wasn't present anymore. You weren't just gone. It was over.

"I wasn't ready for us to be over." Fighting back tears, Jane reached for Maura, stopping just shy of her hand. "I wasn't ready."

Closing the distance, Maura enveloped Jane's hands in her own. Holding on to them for dear life.

"I don't understand. You're being so kind. Is it just because James is sick? Is this pity? I need to know." Pleading eyes met Maura's own. "Do you even like me?"

"Oh, Jane. This is… This is us." The honey-blonde smiled hopefully.

"What does that even mean?"

The smile faltered.

"It means that the past is behind us. That we can move forward. That I'm ready to. If you want to, that is."

Maura was suddenly unsure. When the shooting had first happened it was she that had been full of rage and vitriol. She that had kept her distance. A need to punish Jane. Then it had been Jane that was angry. Furious at her for walking away. So Jane had done exactly as she had, she'd left. After their reunion it had been like walking on eggshells. Neither woman knowing where the other stood. It had been an uncomfortable dance of being too polite and avoidance of a whole plethora of subjects.

It had to stop. If for no other reason than her sanity.

"I'd like that."

Jane's answer brought Maura's attention back to the room, and she smiled as Jane gave her hands a gentle squeeze.

"I'd really like that. Friend."

Maura's smile grew. "Friend."


	19. Week 33

**Week 33**

Christmas Eve, and the seasonal spirit was in full swing in Boston. The night sky lit up by countless stars illuminating the last minute shoppers scurrying home with their bags and packages.

In a side alley, Barry Frost stood guard over a handcuffed man out cold on the frozen ground, waiting for a car to take the man in. Maura, off to one side, stood watching the two men. The latest attempt on her life had been little more than a nuisance, detective Frost having tailed the would be assassin. Barry was convinced the downed man wasn't one of Intergang's. His pursuit of Maura pretty much bungled from the start. They thought perhaps he was an outsider looking for an in. The implications if that were true were not good.

"Looks like someone was lacking in the Christmas spirit."

Frost, eyebrows raised, looked up at Maura. "Was that a joke?"

Maura smiled self effacingly. "An attempt at one."

The two friends shared a grin.

Barry fidgeted a little, then reached into his pocket. Moments later he withdrew a small festively wrapped package. He handed it nervously to Maura. "It's for Jane."

Looking at the shiny green wrapping and neatly tied red bow, Maura asked what was inside.

"It's her old badge. I managed to get hold of it. It's my way of saying we're waiting for her."

Watching as the handsome man squirmed awkwardly, Maura broke the silence. "That's sweet, Barry. I just honestly don't know if she wants to come back. She's been through more than you or I could imagine; but knowing she's wanted will go a long way."

"She spoke to you?" There was a hopeful optimism in his voice and Maura hoped it wasn't for aught.

"Yes, we spoke. She explained where she'd been. The things she'd been through while away."

"And the stuff before then?"

"I've put it behind me, and Jane's not the woman she once was. We're friends again. That's enough for now."

"But she's okay, right?"

Maura shifted. Unsure of how much to say. "Like I said, she's not the woman we once knew. She's been through a lot, and has more than enough to deal with right now. So in answer to your question, I suppose only time will tell."

"That wasn't the upbeat answer I was hoping for."

"Well it's the only answer I have. For everything that's happened, she feels very much alone. "

Frost frowned at the words. He'd begged Jane not to leave. "She's the one that upped and left."

"I know that, and I'm ashamed to say that that was my doing."

As expected, the kind man quickly jumped to her defence.

"Maura, you didn't make Jane do anything."

Knowing that the conversation had strayed into dangerous territory, but unable to bring it back, Maura sighed. "No, but I gave up on her. We…" Pausing, she realised now wasn't the time for _that_ conversation, no matter how aware of it they all had been. "When I walked away, it broke her. I broke her. Jane and I are at equal fault in how things turned out during and after the shooting, but I know the part I played. I accept that.

"And Jane, she knows that she shouldn't have walked away from her career, her life. She accepts that. She knows what she did wrong.

"But you, Vince, Angela, Frankie and Tommy, you all bare some responsibility. As the people whom Jane loved and trusted most in all the world, you had a responsibility to her. You may have begged her to stay, but how many times did you knock on her door to check in on her? Or call and leave a message? Once the initial drama was over, we all left one by one. From what I can tell, the only contact made after a few months, was the contact she initiated. She felt abandoned. For all I know, she still feels that way.

"So there is no hopeful optimism from me. Not where her career with the Boston Police Department is concerned. Right now I'm trying to be the best friend I can be, while the man that's been by her side for the past year dies a slow and painful, debilitating death."

Barry Frost stood in shocked silence. His busy mind trying to process all Maura had just said.

He had begged Jane to stay, but once she left, his hurt pride stopped him calling. He'd felt abandoned by his partner, and experience told him Jane Rizzoli left when things got hard. She'd left Korsak after all. That was how he'd been partnered with her in the first place. He had just assumed that given a little time to lick her wounds, she would come back. However, days turned into weeks into months, and he had let it stay that way.

Maura was right. Just as Jane had abandoned him, he had abandoned her.

"This whole situation is one giant fu- uh, messy situation." Frost finished lamely, eyeing the elegant woman sheepishly. He never swore in front of the doc. She was a lady.

"While I generally don't approve of such language, I think what you were about to say accurately sums it all up."

A squad car pulling up along side them cut off the conversation immediately. Barry Frost resumed a professional air and Maura readied herself to leave.

"I'll be sure to pass on your gift, Barry; and just in case I don't see you tomorrow, merry Christmas."

Placing a kiss on her friends cheek, Maura left, leaving a blushing detective Frost behind.

* * *

><p>Snow was falling heavily. Through the window of a warm home in Brookline, Jane stood sentinel, observing the settling flakes as the thick white blanket covering her city grew deeper.<p>

Her thoughts danced between James and Maura, unable to settle for long on either lest her mood drop lower than it already was.

Memories of last nights dinner floated through her mind.

Hanukkah had ended last night, or so Maura had told her. The M.E. had made a big deal out of it. Cooked Latkes and laid out jelly doughnuts for desert.

James had actually been lucid for most of the meal, but had been unable to keep any of it down.

Maura said she'd done it because she was reading about different holiday traditions. That she thought it would be nice. That might have been true, but that wasn't why she had done it.

Jane knew the truth. Hanukkah was a celebration of a miracle.

And they both knew a miracle was the only thing that could save James.

"Upon the stair, I met a man who was not there…"

Jane spun round at the haunting voice drifting into the living room. "James?"

"…He was not there again today, I wish to gosh he'd go away."

James staggered out of his room, clearly delirious.

Midnight blue silk pyjama's failed to conceal just how much he had wasted away over the last few weeks. His gaunt, haggard countenance, with its sunken sockets and cracked lips, was enough to almost make her want to turn away. Long for the days when she was a drunk and he'd been a healthy nameless stranger.

He wobbled unsteadily on his feet. Lunging forward he grabbed onto Jane's shoulders. His bloodshot eyes staring urgently into hers. "I've got the answer, Emma. The answer for both of us. It's been so simple, so obvious." He feverishly whispered, clearly seeing someone other than Jane.

"James-"

"**Leave** London… I know that's what we should do…"

Not for the first time, Jane wondered who this 'Emma' was. She knew so little of the man she called best friend. She was ashamed she hadn't pushed harder for the details of his life before her.

"James." Jane reached out, holding him gently. Afraid he might fall and hurt himself. His arms shockingly light and fragile. It was hard to reconcile the man of today, with the man he used to be.

"…Mommy told me."

Jane wondered if his mother was even alive. He'd once said something about growing up in an orphanage.

She should have been used to his incoherent ramblings by now. He was delirious most of the time. His only way to escape the pain.

Still, Seeing him converse with the ghosts of his past, ripped her heart out every time. She mused on the unfairness of it all. A man like James should not die like this.

"Made out of pseudoderm…" James pulled away, staggering back the way he came. "…Toxic under certain conditions… Blood poisoning…" The sick man tottered unsteadily, and Jane ran over to help him stand.

"Archie… Did you know this would happen, Archie?"

"James." She struggled to guide him back to his room, he wasn't registering her words at all. As he pulled in the opposite direction, she tightened her grip to stop him pulling away. "Come on, let's get you back into bed."

"What's you name? I didn't even hear your name…"

"It's Jane, James. I'm right here, I'm still with you."

Managing to wrestle him through the doorway into his room, James' open palm connected roughly with her face. Jane's head snapping back at the surprising show of force.

Frozen to the spot in shock, James edged away from her as she brought her hand to the angry red mark on her cheek. Her wide eyes locked on the man hunched over at the end of the bed.

Spinning round suddenly, his wild eyes locked with hers, and for a moment, Jane thought he recognised her, before his face crumpled and he started to weep.

"I'm sorry, I tried, I really tried. I'm so sorry about Jess… I loved her… I loved her like she was ours, Emma… I loved her like I loved you…"

Jane walked over beside him. Pulling his arm over her shoulder, she helped him to his feet, as he continued to pour his heart out to his long lost Emma.

Guiding him into bed, she listened to the confessing man.

"…I couldn't say it, you could say it, but I never said it…" Tears trickled down his face. "…I love you."

Tucking him in snugly, Jane gently brushed her hand through his hair. "I love you, too."

Body and mind weary, she dropped into a chair by his bed. Slumping forward she buried her face in her hands, finally giving into the tears.

She listened as an exhausted James slowly drifted off to sleep, his delirious ramblings slowly trailing off.

"Going to play in the snow… After last night I should hope so."

As James' laboured breathing settled a little, Jane guessed he'd be out for a while. Standing, wiping at the tears free falling, she turned to find Maura watching her in the doorway.

She hadn't even heard her come in.

She was in one of her casual outfits. Fitted black jeans and a cosy red sweater. She looked beautiful. Honey-blonde hair falling in waves past her shoulders. Jane noted that it was starting to get quite long.

Moving quietly, so as not to wake the sleeping man, she joined Maura in the living room.

Utterly exhausted, but unwilling to sleep for fear of what her subconscious might conjure, Jane plopped herself down on the couch. Eyes fixed on the outside world.

Bustling about in her kitchen, Maura joined Jane a few minutes later, placing a steaming mug on the coffee table.

"Some hot cider might make you feel better."

Jane tried and failed to smile at the kind gesture. "Only if you added some bourbon to it."

"I didn't, but I can, if you like."

As she reached for the mug, Jane pulled her hand away.

"No. Seems that all the problems when I start drinking are still there when I stop."

Taking a seat beside her, Maura sat close enough that Jane could lean on her if she so wished.

"You give him peace. You should be glad for that."

"I am." Jane said. "I just wish I could get a little for myself."

Maura gazed at her, her captivating hazel eyes full of sympathy. Reaching out, she gently lifted Jane's chin. Sad searching eyes staring back at her. Several silent moments passed, then Maura leaned forward. Her lips found Jane's, and the two women shared a tender kiss. Over a year had passed since this inevitable moment had been put on hold, and she knew they had to talk about it, but for the moment, Maura's lips were just as warm and welcoming as she had imagined.

Jane wondered briefly what this meant, then decided not to worry about it. Right now, it was enough that Maura was here for her. Closing her eyes, Jane surrendered to the moment.

Maura pulled back slowly, ending the kiss. Eyes shining brightly, she studied the deep brown ones before her.

"It stopped snowing."

Maura smiled lightly at the words, then even more so as Jane rested her head on her shoulder.

Wrapping her arms around Jane, they cuddled on the couch.

"Merry Christmas, Jane."


	20. Week 34

**Week 34**

New Year's Eve. An ambulance pulled up outside Mass General. Opening the rear doors, paramedics lowered the gurney to the ground; James securely strapped in. As they wheeled him through the doors, Jane and Maura quickly followed. It was the death watch now.

For the past three days James had been bouncing between screaming agony and hysterical delirium. The only thing keeping him quiet at the moment was the morphine. A horrifying seizure had forced Jane to finally cave and admit the man needed to be moved to a hospital. Thanks to Maura, he was now in a private room.

The two women kept vigil at his bedside; Jane never leaving, Maura keeping an eye on her, making sure she ate and drank.

At ten twenty six, James had stopped breathing for three minutes. They'd been sure that was it. When he started again, it sounded like someone choking inside a tin can.

"You should go Maura. You don't need to stay for this."

Frowning, the doctor planted herself in front of Jane. "I know that, but I want to be here for you."

Jane felt herself being studied intently. Reaching forward, she brushed her hands with Maura's, playing distractedly with the other woman's fingers.

"That's kind of you, and I appreciate your support, I do; but I need to do this alone. I need to finish this with him the way we started." Running a hand through her hair, she struggled to explain herself, wanting so badly for Maura to understand. "I know that doesn't make much sense, but he's family. He's all I have."

The words stung. She knew they would, but it was the truth. At least for now. Her 'relationship' with Maura was still unknown, undefined. They hadn't had a chance to talk yet, and they might not for a while. Until that time came, she refused to get her hopes up. Maura had a life here, a place in the world. Jane was still lost, still asking herself who she was. What she needed.

"That's not true Jane. You're not alone." Gently gripping the hand still playing with her fingers, Maura brought it to her chest, placing it over her beating heart. "You're loved Jane, and by more than just me. Let us love you."

"_Let us love you." _Staring intently into the eyes of the woman she had never stopped loving, Jane longed for the possibilities those words represented. She imagined Maura holding her, being her rock, while she was strong for James. She imagined her brothers and Ma visiting and bringing food. Being surrounded by those who had made her feel safe growing up. She imagined Frost and Korsak dropping by, sniping at each other and doing their best to cheer her up. She imagined it all, and it was beautiful.

A stray tear worked its way down her cheek. It wouldn't happen. Couldn't. There was no way to be around these people without the past weighing down on her. Dealing with Maura alone was challenging enough for now. She needed to concentrate on the dying man in bed.

"Maura… I…" Dark eyes drifted to the bed; the rattling breath's coming at uneven intervals. Jane opened her mouth to speak, hoping she could find the words to convey how she was feeling. Maura's gentle touch cut her off. Soft fingers pressed to her lips.

"It's okay, Jane. You don't have to say another word. I understand. Just promise me you'll call if you need me. No matter the time, no matter the cause. You need or want me here, you call!"

The fierceness in the gentle woman's voice was stark, and Jane knew that Maura meant every word; and knowing that meant the world to her.

Giving in to her needs for just a moment, Jane drew Maura into a firm embrace, her arms wrapping securely around the soft woman. As Maura returned the surprising show of physical affection, Jane buried her face in honey-blonde waves, inhaling the calming scent of her mixed with shampoo. Holding on for a second longer, Jane withdrew a little, pressing her lips to Maura's forehead. "Thank you."

Using every ounce of willpower they had, the two women separated, Jane returning to James' bedside.

* * *

><p>"…If I can… I've never built a snowman…"<p>

Funny, smart and a pain in her ass. Her best friend in the entire world. That's who James had been. And now cancer was tearing him down, piece by piece. She'd thought about ending it. Shooting him so full of morphine he'd just go to sleep and never wakes up. Putting him out of his misery once and for all. But she knew what he'd say if she told him what she was thinking. He'd say don't.

"…the pipes, the pipes are calling…"

It's the last big question for him. He wouldn't want to miss that. _And I wouldn't want to take that from him._

Flicking on the TV, Jane settled back in her uncomfortable chair to watch the New Year be counted in.

Glancing at James, his glassy unfocused eyes seemed to be looking at her.

"…from glen to glen and down the mountainside…"

"_This is it! The countdown is about to start!"_

"…summer's gone and all the leaves are turnin'…"

Twisting in her seat, she looked at the quietening man. "It's New Year's, James."

"_TEN!"_

"_NINE!" _"now you"

"_EIGHT!" _"must go"

"_SEVEN!" _"away"

Jane reached out a hand. Holding tightly to her struggling friends wrist, his words coming in broken gasps.

"_SIX!" _"and I"

"_FIVE!" _"and I"

Her eyes closed with James'

"_FOUR!" _"must"

She slid her fingers over his. Gripping his once strong hand.

"_THREE!" _"must"

"_TWO!" _"bide…"

As James drew silent, bringing her other hand to his, Jane laid her head down to finally rest.


	21. Week 36

**A/N: **What's this? An update? So, I managed to get myself injured while hiking on my travels. I've been stuck in the city for some time now while undergoing physio. It struck me not too long ago to get my notes sent over. They finally arrived, and voila! here is the end result. I hope you like. It's been a while since I've written anything besides a journal entry. I'll update as often as I can, and hopefully I can get this finished before I hit the road again.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Week 36<strong>

Barry Frost was exhausted.

Ever since Paddy Doyle died everything had gone to hell. Jane fell apart and left, Maura turned back into the Queen of the Dead, and crime rates had gone through the roof.

Violent crimes in the last few months had tripled. To say BPD was stretched beyond its limits was a vast understatement, but every day Barry Frost showed up to work, less sleep than the night before, ready to do his very best to protect his city.

Looking around him, he knew everyone else was stretched to their limits. The fact that they knew why crime had surged had not lessening the pressure any. It had in fact made it worse. Intergang were notorious. Once they had their claws in a city they never let go. Boston would be ruined. Frost wouldn't allow it.

Knocking back his second cup of coffee since he woke up (a mere 90 minutes ago), Frost wiped at his bleary eyes as Korsak entered the room.

He didn't saying anything, simply pointed at the coffee sitting on Vince's desk. The older man nodded gratefully, then started to boot up his computer.

Taking a seat at his own desk, Frost did the same thing. Both men pulled up their email at the same time, and both did a double take at the name of the sender on an identical email they had both received.

Looking at one another they blinked a couple of times, then clicked open.

Jane had finally made contact.

* * *

><p>A month ago he was James.<p>

A month ago he was cheerfully vague and hungrily curious.

A month ago...

Reaching over, Jane brushed the hair from his eyes. Her own running over her friends face. His slack jaw, stubble showing beneath the nasal cannula assisting his breathing.

Everywhere she looked, wires. Wires hooked up to machines, an IV bag.

The air smelled of bleach and antiseptic. The flowers at the foot of the bed failing to make any impact on the hospital smell.

"...That's not the cheese, Jess. That's... no, I'm doing... all right..."

Watching James' head loll forward, Jane reached for his hand, hoping to calm him.

"...Baby baby baby blues in green..."

One month.

Then the cancer got busy. It got in his bones. It got in his brain.

"...How high the moon? Huh? Tell me, butterfly..."

It's a horrifying knowledge, knowing that the only thing keeping your best friend from screaming in permanent agony is a morphine drip.

Jane lay James' head back against his pillow, then sat back in her chair.

"It's not fair." Jane laughed at her almost silent admission. To say it's not fair is like saying rain is wet. Absolutely obvious and unhelpful.

She knew James would kick her ass if he saw how much she was wallowing in this; but not so long ago she would have drowned her pain in a bottle of whisky, so she figured she was doing okay.

Standing abruptly, an open copy of an outdated sports magazine fell to the floor. Jane could feel anger starting to rise. He deserved better than this. Better than to die in a hospital stinking of antiseptic and bleach in a city he didn't know.

He deserved to live.

Jane stopped her back and forth pacing as abruptly as it started. Sinking into her chair she looked at James. Really looked at him.

"You're not going to though. You're not going to because that's what people do. Leave. Die."

Jane's head thumped back on the chairs headrest. It was only a matter of time. It didn't matter how many radiation treatments he underwent... or what other kind of various treatments they tried for that matter.

Jane's eyes drifted to a package on James' bedside. It was covered in stamps from all over the world, Archie's letter sticking out. Tired eyes once more ran over what she could see of Archie's neat handwriting.

"_I have made another trip to the sacred gardens of Rama Kushna. As I said in my last missive, the flowers enclosed are known to the monks for their curative properties..."_

The doctors hadn't objected to the ingestion of the flowers. They all knew James' day were numbered. They didn't help though. Nothing helped.

Looking out at her city, Jane made a choice.

* * *

><p>"This is a bad idea."<p>

Standing on the tarmac of a private airfield, Maura was doing her best to keep her composure. A faux shearling jacket shielded her from the wet heavy snow coming down in droves.

She watched as Jane triple checked her supplies.

Behind them a chartered medical transport jet, about the size of a small learjet, was parked on the icy tarmac.

Jane had called Maura quite unexpectedly in the early hours of the morning informing her of her plan. Maura had raced to the hospital as fast as she could. Arriving just as James was being loaded into the ambulance that would bring them to the airfield.

The M.E. had convinced Jane to ride in her car behind the ambulance, and used the journey to get all the details for her absurd plan from her.

Concern was the sole emotion conveyed on Maura's strikingly beautiful face.

Jane shrugged. Opening a foam lined metal case, she counted the syringes inside one last time. It wouldn't do to run out of morphine before she and James reached their destination. Closing the lid, she shoved the case in her bag.

Clad in considerably less fashionable winter attire than Maura, Jane fastened the buttons on her rumpled down parka, and shoved her gloves in her pocket.

"James is as good as dead as it is, Maura. There's not a hell of a lot I can do to make that worse, is there?"

Jane shoved a few more things into her duffel bag, her back to Maura.

"No, but I'm not talking about him." Maura reached out and placed her hand on Jane's arm. "I'm talking about you, and I'm thinking this looks an awful lot like..."

Jane spun around at Maura's pause, a fiery glint in her eye. "Looks an awful lot like... What?"

Maura squared her shoulders. "Denial. Running away."

Jane's defences immediately went up. "No. No! Not denial. Defiance!" She took a deep breath, calming herself, hoping Maura would understand. "I'm not running from anything. Not this time. He deserves to go home, Maura."

The honey-blonde shook her head. It wasn't enough. "And at what cost? You really think he would want you to take this risk? The jet will only take you so far! There are no flights where you are going! No roads! " The frustration turned into a plea. "You can't hike a dying man up the Himalayas in the middle of winter!"

Pulling her duffel bag onto her shoulder, Jane pushed past Maura.

"The weather alone could kill you both!"

Jane paused in her retreat. She watched as James was finished being transferred onto the plane. The medics hurriedly retreating to their warm vehicle.

She could feel Maura behind her, could picture her beautiful features so perfectly. Could imagine the concern, the anger.

A member of the planes crew signalled her. Everything was ready.

"I know." Jane admitted. Eyes locked on the icy ground at her feet, it was so much more difficult leaving this time, but she had to go. Time was of the essence. She needed to get James home. Needed him to see his family one last time.

Maura grabbed onto Jane's arm again, gripping it harder this time. Spinning her round, forcing Jane to face her.

"Jane, please! Stay with me."

Hearing that plea, hearing Maura beg for her to stay, Jane felt something in her heart click into place. Something she thought long lost.

Jane pulled Maura to her, pulled her in tight. Held onto her like her life depended on it; like she had wanted to that terrible day in the warehouse.

"I just got you back in my life. I don't want you walking out again."

_I don't want to,_ Jane thought fervently. Reuniting with Maura had been the only bright spot in these last few weeks. Her lips still held the memory of that magical kiss on Christmas morning.

Jane loosened her hold slightly. Whimpering, Maura pulled Jane in tightly again. As if she could just hold on tightly enough she could stop what was about to happen.

Jane squeezed gently and placed a kiss in Maura's sweet smelling hair. She ran her lips down to Maura's ear, speaking softly, gently. "He saved me, Maura. In every way possible, he saved me. I owe him my life. I owe him this."

Gently loosening Maura's hold on her, Jane pulled back. "I need to do this."

"Then take me with you." Maura had wanted to sound strong, commanding. So as to give Jane no choice in the matter, but instead she didn't think she had ever sounded so small.

Jane smiled at her. Cupped her cheek. "You know I would never allow you to risk your life for something that's my responsibility.

"You stay safe, okay. You do whatever Frost or Korsak tell you to."

Maura looked questioningly up at Jane.

"I sent them everything we had on Intergang. I wasn't about to leave you here unprotected, Maur. You use that brilliant mind of yours to help how you can, but keep yourself out of danger.

"If I pull this off, I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

The 'if' wasn't lost on Maura, and tears slid down her ruddy cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

They didn't need to elaborate. They knew.

Jane gazed into Maura's moist hazel eyes. This was farewell, maybe forever. She leaned forward and kissed the other woman with everything she had. Defying the freezing temperature, they hungrily shared each other's warmth. They held one another as close as they could, savouring every brush of their lips, every taste. A long moment passed before Jane reluctantly pulled away from her long-lost love.

She heard Maura choke back a sob.

Pushing past the lump in her own throat, Jane managed a goodbye, then headed for the plane.

Maura stood there, fingers pressed to her lips long after the plane took off.


	22. Week 38

**Week 38**

Over and over Jane's bone's were jolted, jostled and bumped around. Mile after mile the grimy army surplus truck trundled on, seemingly hitting every pothole and road obstacle that crossed its path.

A flapping canvas cover provided meagre protection from the fierce wind and falling snow outside the truck. A sudden uptake in the wind blew in a dusting of icy white flakes through a gap in the canvas. She shivered beneath her down jacket and heavy winter clothing.

_I'm not crazy._

"HnnnAhhhhn" _Kaff kaff _"Nyhh"

The monotony of the reckless journey was broken only by the moans and groans of James. They provided a brief respite from the endless questioning loop in her mind.

The road hit a particularly nasty bump, and Jane gripped the bench she was sat on.

"AIEEEEE!"

Propped up beside her, James screamed in agony. Looking at her friend, she could see his wasted body had practically disappeared. His limbs jerk at odd intervals, gloved hands grasping and groping at his head and torso, as if trying to rip the disease from his body with his bare hands. Jane held onto him tightly.

Glancing at the metal case sat beside her, she decided it was time for another shot.

Removing his arm from his coat as gently as she could, she tucked the warm material around his torso, then tugged at one of his sleeves, rolling it up enough to expose a patch of skin. Keeping a firm grip on him, Jane waited until the truck seemed to be on a smooth patch of ground, then pushed the needle in, injecting another dose of morphine into his veins.

Retracting the needle, she rolled James' sleeve back down, and gently guided his arm back into his coat.

_I'm not crazy. I'm not._

"...Aanngg ghnn _HURTS _nhnnn... " James mumbled incoherently.

His groaning quickly settled after that. Doing up his buttons, Jane pulled his collar snug around his neck. "I know, James. I know it does."

Drifting back into a narcotic haze, James slumped against Jane. Releasing her firm grip on him, she looked back at the open tin beside her. He was going through his morphine supply too fast. She desperately hoped their meagre supply would last to Nanda Parbat.

James continued to groan and cough. Jane looked over at her fellow passengers. A trio of local Sherpa's eyed her and James apprehensively. They muttered back and forth in their own language, occasionally gesturing her way.

She couldn't blame them for the funny looks and grumblings. They must make quite an unnerving spectacle. Two foreigners, one screaming in agony, looking for all the world like a corpse, and a crazed-looking woman with a pack full of drugs. Not exactly the most reassuring of travelling companions.

Jane didn't care. She caught the eye of one of the men. "Do any of you know the way to Nanda Parbat?"

She was met with silence. "Do any of you speak English? Please..." _I have to get him home. _"...I have to get my friend to Nanda Parbat..."

The locals gave no indication that they understood her. Biting down on her lip to keep from crying out in frustration, Jane sat back on the bench, wrapping her arm around James, more to comfort herself than him.

The road tilted sharply beneath the truck as it carried them uphill into the Himalayas. Peering out through that torturous gap in the canvas, Jane gulped at the sight of the impossibly high mountains looming ahead of them. Ominous black storm clouds concealed the tops of the peaks from view. For a second her nerve failed. Jesus Christ, was she really planning to haul him all the way up there? Maybe Maura had been right. Maybe this was a bad idea.

_No, _she told herself._ I'm not crazy. I can get him home. I know I can. _Even if she had to drag him to the top of the world.

The truck pulled into a village near the foot of the mountains. The snowfall had lessened somewhat, and as Jane stepped out of the vehicle, she found everything in sight was buried under inch after inch of the ice cold powder.

Grabbing their things, Jane gently guided James off the truck. Looking around she led him to what looked like what might pass for an inn. Stepping into the warm building, she was relieved to find she had been correct in her assessment, and quickly sorted out a room for the night.

Safely tucked up in his bed, Jane, sat in a chair beside the bed, tried her best to get James to eat. Even doped up, he grimaced in pain. The bones of his face showed through his skin. He'd lost so much weight. She placed the spoon of broth at his cracked lips.

"Hkkkk Shnn _POISON _hrkkk poison."

She pulled the spoon back, the wooden utensil a safe distance from his wild mistrustful eyes. "Please, James. Just a sip."

Coughing, he sputtered out the word poison one more time.

"Please, sweetheart, you gotta keep your strength up."

James rolled over, clutching at his covers, his back now to Jane. "You hshhh think I don't know..."

Jane's head dropped. _I'm not crazy. I can get him home. I can do this._

James rolled over unexpectedly, his arm swinging out and sending the spoonful of broth flying. The contents spilling out across the room.

"STUPID uhnn GIRL!"

He rolled back over, the blanket pulled up to his chin. "Heh. Stupid girl."

Looking out the window, Jane's hollow eyes blinked back tears. _Please God. Let him make it home._

* * *

><p>Three days later and three quarters of the morphine supply was gone.<p>

The blizzard raged against Jane as she trudged up the icy slope, towards the heart of the storm. A wool scarf covered her face. She squinted into the stinging snow and wind. The climb was murder. Every step an ordeal. She couldn't even feel her toes anymore.

Memories of being curled up on a comfy couch in front of a fire, a hot cup of cider in her hands, floated through Jane's head. A warm body pressed in close... _Maura._

Shaking her head, clearing her mind of the images, Jane pressed on. Arms back, she dragged James behind her on a makeshift litter. Strapped down onto the travois, he writhed futilely against his restraints. Wild eyes darted back and forth. His teeth chattering as he raged deliriously. "Wh-wh-who d-d-do you _think _you are?" Racking coughs broke up the hateful tirade. "D-D-Don't know uhhn don't know _anything... _Just... Ju-u-st _shoot_ y-you in the he-head..."

Inch by painful inch, Jane pushed onwards.

"Dump your b-b-body... buh... butter... butterflies."

_Butterflies? _Jane wondered where James' fevered dreams were leading him. Looking out at the never ending glacial wilderness, Jane could only hope it was somewhere nicer than their current location.

Endless white as far as the eye could see, all the way up to unforgiving black clouds. She couldn't help but question herself. Would James have been more comfortable back in his cosy fancy hospital room? Without a doubt yes. Was she being selfish subjecting him to this? She had to tell herself no. He deserved to go home. To spend his last... days? Hours? Moments? Surrounded by those he loved in a place that made him light up. He deserved that.

* * *

><p>Another day passed. Another endless day on the mountain.<p>

Entering a village on the mountain side, a scream tore through the empty streets.

Dropping to her knees, Jane loosened the pack from the litter and pulled out the morphine supply.

James' pained screams attracted the attention of the locals, and before long, curious and wary faces began to gather around the strange duo.

Throwing back the layers of covers over James, Jane exposed one of his legs. Inserting the needle through a slit in his pants she'd made days earlier.

Leaning in closer, Jane spoke to her dying friend. "I just want to get you home. That's all I want. That's not wrong. How can that be wrong?"

His pitiful gaze looked right through her. Running her sleeve across rapidly freezing tears, Jane cleared her throat and pulled back, her eyes on the last seven syringes in the case.

Whipping around, Jane locked eyes on the closest villager. "You..." Standing up, she stumbled towards the fearful looking man, her knees protesting at the physical exertion she had subjected herself to of late. Reaching into her coat she pulled out a crumpled map. "...You have to help me." She took the compass that hung from a cord around her neck and placed it on the map.

The local man held up his hands in protest, slowly backing away. Jane entreated him, pleading desperately with her eyes. "Please, it's okay, we're going to Nanda Parbat, they know us there."

She moved the map towards the local. "But I... I don't know which trail to take." The man drew back, refusing to meet her eyes. Turning to the other villagers, clutching her map, Jane called out. "I could use some help, some directions..." Anger seeped into the exhausted woman's voice. "...Which way do I go?"

Only the howling wind responded to her pleas.

_I'm on my own, _she realised.

* * *

><p>The next day, in a clearing miles from anywhere, an abandoned metal case sat slowly collecting snow, its lid open and perched on its side as if thrown there in anger.<p>

Several feet ahead of the abandoned case sat Jane. Using her teeth to pull the cap from the needle, she ran through the motions one last time.

Covers back in place, Jane recapped the needle then abandoned it on the mountainside. "I hate the noise you're making, James."

"Uuuuuu."

_The sound of you trying to breathe._

Moving to his head, she pulled back his hood and placed a kiss on his forehead with her shredded lips. "Hang in there James, it's not far now."

"Uuuuhhh huhhhh"

Pulling his hood snug around him once again, Jane stood, grabbing onto the ropes attached to the litter, and once more placed one foot in front of the other. _Where would I be now if not for him? Probably drinking and whoring myself into an early grave. _The thought of facing the future without him filled her with dread. _Who will I become when you're not around?_ "Please stay with me. We're almost there."

* * *

><p>Gravity, cold and exhaustion conspired to slow her down. She paused for a moment just to catch her breath, no easy task at this altitude. She gulped down the thin air, her head throbbing for lack of oxygen. She pulled down her scarf, exposing chapped lips and reddened wind burned features. Walking back to the litter, she rummaged through her strapped down pack for their water bottle. Tipping it back, ice cold water trickled down her parched throat. Reaching over to James she slowly poured the liquid down his throat.<p>

"Uuuuuhh." On and on his endless moan. If she wasn't crazy yet that sound would soon drive her there. Packing away the bottle, Jane checked properly on James, his withered, pain-wracked features tearing at her heart.

"You hang in there, James." She whispered hoarsely. "We're in this together, remember? You said we were in this together. Until the end."

Consulting her compass for the one hundredth time, Jane stared out into the white expanse. She thought she was on the right path, but there was no way to be sure. The blizzard had long ago hidden any tracks or landmarks beneath a faceless white shroud. The cascading snowflakes made it almost impossible to tell where she was going. She could be halfway to Tibet for all she knew.

* * *

><p>Jane wistfully thought back to her first journey to Nanda Parbat. With James leading the way, so sure, the journey had seemed like a piece of cake. Sure it had been long, but it hadn't been anything like this nightmare. It's amazing the difference a few months can make. A change of seasons.<p>

"Uuuuuuu."

_Almost there._

"Uuuuuuu."

_Almost there._

"Uuuuuu."

_Almost-_ Jane's inner mantra was cut short as her strength failed her and she lost her footing. Face first into the snow, all she could hear was James' constant rattling moan.

"SHUT UP ALREADY!"

"Uh-"

Silence.

Choking back a sob, Jane knelt there in the snow. It was too much. She succumbed to fatigue, just for a second, and closed her eyes, a single moment of weakness that threatened to linger on forever. Maura's voice floated through her mind. Something she'd once said about freezing to death being a lot like falling asleep. She started to drift off...

_No! _Her eyes snapped open. She was close. So close. She had to be, and Maura was waiting for her. She looked at James. His breathing worsening by the second. His body, wrapped in multiple thick heavy blankets, shivered uncontrollably. His lips were blue.

"I'm sorry, James. I'm so sorry." Jane crawled over to him. Her hands and knees inching through the wet snow. She was sorry for so much. For giving up for a moment. For dragging him out here. For the fact that he was dying and there was nothing she could do.

Looking around as if for answers, Jane's gaze settled on her emaciated friend. _He's so blue. _The sub-zero temperatures seemed to be competing with the cancer to see which could kill him off first. Reaching around her neck, she unwrapped her scarf and proceeded to rewrap it around James' face like a balaclava. Hoping against hope it would make some small difference. "Nothing left to keep you warm. Only this thing. Hopefully provide _some _insulation at least. "

Pulling her own hood tight round her head now that she'd lost the warmth of her scarf, Jane looked at James. Eyes downcast. Her expression sombre. "I think... I think maybe I made a mistake, James."

The ferocious wind whipped around her, dragging up snow and swirling it around in maddening chaotic patterns. Rising on unsteady legs, Jane grasped the ropes of the litter. "I think maybe, just maybe, I've gotten us both killed."

Looking out into the chaos, she couldn't see more than a few feet in front of her. With a groan she resumed her journey.

_Maura warned me. Serves me right for not listening to her. _Jane wondered if she would ever hold Maura again, or if Maura would ever find out what happened to her. _I should have told her I loved her._

Onwards she trudged. Always onwards, towing her precious cargo. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. She'd lost all concept of time. Direction. She wasn't even sure she was moving in a straight line. Pulling out her compass, Jane stared at the arrow in complete bewilderment. She had no idea where she was going. She had no idea where she was.

Lurching erratically forward, she ploughed on regardless. Moments later she slipped on a patch of ice. Her frozen body splayed out in the snow. _I'm lost. In more ways than one. You're my sense of direction, James. I don't know who I am without you._

Jane's head shot up. _James!_

Looking back she could see the litter tipped on its side. "James!"

Jumping to her feet, Jane scrambled to her friend as quickly as possible.

"Uhh kk-khss"

Righting the litter, Jane raced round to James, easing him onto his back. She recoiled in horror at the sight of her best friend. The scarf over his face soaked through with blood. The surrounding snow where he had lain was also bright red, and Jane resisted the urge to vomit. Panic rushing through her veins. "Oh god, oh god, James, hold on."

Wrestling his body back onto the litter, Jane did her best not to fall apart. She wasn't ready for this. To say goodbye. "Hold on. Please hold on. I'm here, I've got you."

James started to choke. She quickly pulled at the scarf covering his face, loosening it a little, and watched as blood seeped from his mouth.

She didn't know what to do. Her head and shoulders sagged as she knelt over him in despair. Bitter tears froze on her cheeks. "I can't do this again... Please..."

The storm started to ease, but it was too little, too late. A sense of utter failure gripped at her, dragging her down into a deep despair. Her face buried in her hands, she felt defeated.

"You never answered my question." James pointed out.

His voice, faint and hoarse as it was, startled her.

"Aahh!" Jane jumped back in surprise, her eyes wide and unbelieving. "J-James?"

The frail man reached up, tugging at the scarf wrapped around his face. "Get this thing off my face." He coughed a couple times as Jane moved to help him. "Hard enough to breathe as it is."

She stared in wonder at his sunken eyes and sweaty brow. His deep green eyes were alert as they met hers. For the first time in days he was seeing her.

"What the hell are you doing, Jane?" He wheezed.

As she unwound the last of the scarf, she dropped it beside her, never to be thought of again. She didn't know what to make of James' sudden lucidity. A miracle? Or a blessing before the end?

James grinned up at her, even as he raised his brows in question, waiting for an answer. If you didn't look too hard, and if you ignored the blood trickling form his mouth, he almost looked like his old self.

"Trying... Trying to get us to Nanda Parbat. Trying to get you home, James."

Undoing the straps holding him down, Jane pulled her dear friend close. Tears blurred her vision as she cradled him to her chest. "I wanted to save you." She whispered.

"But you couldn't. No one could."

"I had to bring you home. I had to do this."

"I told you, some things you just have to accept."

"I can't!" Jane blurted out. Her heart aching at the truth of it all. She watched as James' eyes drifted closed. "I can't! I need you. I don't know who I am without you!"

James pulled back. His tremulous hand touched her cheek. "It's a trick question, Jane... Not who are you..." He paused to cough. "...but who are you going to become?"

Exhausted by the effort his arm dropped, and his body slumped back in her arms.

Jane sobbed inconsolably. Laying him flat once more.

"Time to change..." He murmured with his last breath. "Like a butterfly."

His body shuddered and fell still. His lungs stopped whistling. James had asked his last question.

The storm died away. The wind stopped blowing. The last of the snowfall settled onto Jane as she sat clutching James' limp body.

A bright shaft of sunlight broke through the clouds, lighting up the frozen terrain around her. At her back sat a remote mountain valley dominated by an imposing pagoda style temple.

She had reached Nanda Parbat.


	23. Week 41

**Week 41**

It was a clear calm day in Nanda Parbat, and despite the grey clouds hovering overhead, the snow was holding off.

Entering his hut, Archie found Jane, a flower in her hand. She seemed to be contemplating it. Holding it in cupped hands just staring at it.

"Pondering the insoluble?"

Pulling the hat from his head, Archie looked Jane over. Stood next to his desk, she couldn't seem to tare her gaze from the blossom in her hands.

"Wondering how that flower... or perhaps yourself, can still be alive and James isn't?"

Walking around the raven haired woman, Archie seated himself at his desk. His eyes went immediately to the file James had stolen from Scarlet in Yemen all those weeks ago. Its contents were spread across his desk, along with printouts of what they had decrypted from the pen-drive so far.

Gently placing the flower back in its vas on Archie's desk, Jane looked at the professor. "I was remembering my first visit here. Before I knew James was sick."

Archie took in Jane's appearance. She appeared to have gone native. Gone were the winter clothing she had arrived in. Now she was dressed in a sky blue gi made of heavy cotton, hair hanging loosely over her shoulders.

"Where have you been?" He asked gruffly.

Jane shrugged lightly. "I was on the mountain with the monks." A serene expression and an uncharacteristically calm voice gave the impression she had come to terms with James' death. Her time with the monks of Nanda Parbat appeared to have taught her acceptance. But, as James had taught her, appearances could be deceptive.

"You just walked off Jane. You left without a word..."

Jane was realising belatedly that Archie's mentor was hurt at her disappearance, perhaps feeling abandoned.

"Not to me, not to Henry."

Despite her placid demeanour, she flinched slightly at her teacher's name. Looking out the hut window she asked "Where is Henry?"

"At that ice cave of his. He wants you to meet him there... " Reaching for one of the stacks of printouts, Archie's face softened a little. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to sorting through all this information."

* * *

><p>With spring rapidly approaching, a bright shaft of sunlight followed Jane into Henry's cave. The inner walls of it were coated in polished sheets of ice, and looking around, she could see her reflection cast back at her. There was however no sign of her teacher.<p>

"Henry? Professor Peabody said you were expecting me..." Walking further into the cavern, treading carefully, Jane could find no sign of Henry anywhere.

"Two weeks eating rice with the Monks of Rama Kushna, a change of clothes, and you think that does it?"

His mocking voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once. Spinning on the spot, Jane's eyes darted around the enclosed space. Suddenly he was everywhere, his reflection scrutinising her from all angles.

"Or is this a case of fake it 'till you make it?"

And then he was there in front of her, his right fist swinging towards her.

Barely gathering her wits in time, Jane managed a last minute block. Then instinctively threw a counterpunch at his gut. "James wanted me to carry on for him." Henry easily deflected the blow. "That's what I'm trying to do." Grunting for the unexpected exertion, she tried to justify her time at the temple.

"No." Henry could see straight through her bullshit.

Trying to confuse him, Jane swung with her right arm.

"You're doing what you _always _do when faced with loss and guilt-" He threw his left arm up to block the blow. "You've just changed the props you use." Jane immediately countered with a roundhouse kick at him. "A gi instead of a bottle..." With a grunt Henry caught her kick, trapping her left leg. "...A kick instead of a kiss."

"I'm _not _denying my grief." Jane bounced awkwardly on one leg. Raw emotion showing on her features as her zen mask cracked.

"Just because you're feeling it, doesn't mean you've accepted it."

Executing a smooth takedown, he swept Jane's right leg out from under her.

"You want to honour James?" Jane's butt slammed against the ice cold floor. Her arms flailing, "Then stop running from yourself."

Before she could move, he flipped her over, grasping a handful of her hair, yanking it back, forcing her to turn her gaze on her own myriad reflections.

Leaning forward, his voice was calm but commanding. "Deal with who you _are_," He challenged her. "So you can see who you can _be._"

Instead of acceptance, the multitude of reflections showed her constant flow of tumultuous emotions, confusion, anger, hurt and humiliation.

She hated it. Hated the sight of them.

Henry Pendragon released her, stepping back, and watched as his words soaked in. Watched as Jane took in the sight of all that she was.

She slowly flipped onto her back. She looked at herself and all she could see was a miserable, tormented woman who had repeatedly let herself down, and not only herself, but everyone she cared about. James, her ma, Korsak, Frost, Maura. She had failed them all when it mattered, as a partner, a daughter, a friend, a potential lover. James had spent his last precious months trying to save her from herself, and she had failed him when she tried to pay him back. He had died just shy of the doorstep of his home.

Staring bleakly at her reflections, she couldn't find it within to look herself in the eye. Seeing the guilt, seeing just how worthless she was was just too much. "I can't!"

Scrambling to her feet, she staggered past Henry and out of the cavern. Away from her teacher, away from her own damning reflections.

* * *

><p>Three days later, and Jane was back in her regular clothing. It was warm enough now that she didn't need to worry about thick winter clothing. Dressed in jeans, a sweater and her down jacket, she looked more like herself than she had in a long while.<p>

Right now she was wondering through the sacred gardens at the temple. A handful of monks were going about their business, but Jane's attention was drawn to what was clearly a fellow westerner. Sat on a park bench in the middle of the gardens was a woman similarly dressed to Jane, the only difference being the sheepskin coat she wore. The closer she got, Jane realised clothing wasn't the only similarity. Tall, dark, slim athletic build...

Seating herself at the opposite end of the bench, she struggled for the right words to break the silence. "So... uh... what's a nice girl like you doing in a spiritual retreat like this?" Jane grimaced slightly at her own question.

The woman appeared lost in thought and so didn't immediately reply. When she finally looked up Jane was momentarily caught off guard by the woman's beauty. Sapphire eyes glinted in the sunlight, and a smile lit up a face that put most to shame.

_Damn._ Jane thought. Her heart belonged to Maura, but she'd have to be blind not to notice this woman's beauty.

"I'm waiting for a friend. We're supposed to be meeting here, but I'm afraid I'm early. He's going to help me... start a new life, I suppose you might say."

There was a slight accent to the woman's voice. Somewhere in Europe she couldn't quite place. There was also a hint of regret mixed in there.

"The old one not working out?"

"Not exactly as I'd hoped, no."

All traces of light slipped from her features along with her smile. "I killed a man."

The woman's gaze shifted to the towering mountains surrounding them, sorrow filling her eyes.

The honesty of the woman caught Jane's attention, along with the shocking confession.

"You have a choice?"

The woman's hands shifted to her lap as she seemed to try to make herself smaller. "I tell myself I didn't."

Immediately Jane's thoughts went to the young gang member who had tried to kill her and James. Images of the little girl she'd been forced to kill while fleeing the Congo flashed through her mind. There were still times she thought there had to have been another way, that if she had only done things differently that child could have lived. If she had been faster, smarter, less of a failure...

"And yourself? Why are you here?" The woman asked her.

"I was..." Jane's own body seemed to pull into itself, her shoulders sagging and head drooping. "I was trying to get my friend home. He was dying. Cancer."

With a solemn nod, the woman's gaze returned to the imposing landscape. "You have my sympathies."

Bringing her hands to her face, Jane held her tears at bay. "Yeah." She muttered.

Removing her hands she shifted her gaze to the beautiful stranger. With a sudden clarity of thought she realised not so long ago she would have hit on the gorgeous woman beside her. She would have buried her grief in a brief tawdry fling or one night stand, then drank enough booze to forget it all. Enough to wash away all the emotions.

She'd grown past that. Aside from Maura, hopefully, waiting for her back home, she knew James would expect better from her, and she wouldn't let him down, not again, or shame his memory by doing something so stupid.

Jumping to her feet, she balled her fists at her side, overcome with emotion. "I get so _angry._ I just want to... I just want to scream, y'know? I'm here in Nanda Parbat for heaven's sake, and still James dies of cancer."

The dark haired woman looked at Jane, compassion in her eyes.

"All these miracles in our world, all these wonders... and still my friend, he dies from cancer."

Seating herself again, next to the stranger this time, Jane looked lost as she resumed speaking. "...I mean, can you explain that to me? Does that make any kind of sense to you?"

"No." The stranger replied. She rose to her feet along with Jane, joining her on the pathway. "But it was not my experience, so I can not interpret it for you."

"There's nothing to interpret." She said bitterly. Fists clenched once again.

"Certainly there is." The woman contradicted her. Standing to her full height, she was a few inches taller than Jane, and she looked down at her with a profound wisdom. "You are looking for _reason,_ and you are looking for it without. But the only reason you will find will be the reason _you_ bring to the experience... and that can only come from looking within."

Jane swallowed hard and looked away. The woman's gaze was too much. "It's not that I don't _want_ to look. I'm dying to look. But I'm afraid of what I'll see there."

"Then that is all the more reason to do it." The woman placed her hands on Jane's shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "It's a simple question, which will have the greater rule over you, your fear... or your curiosity."

* * *

><p>It was late by the time Jane made it over to the ice cave. No one was around. Henry more than likely over at the hut with Archie working on the information they had.<p>

With only the stars to light her way, she struck a match, lighting the candle she'd picked up on her way over. The wind caused the flame to flicker and dance around.

Stepping into the cave, Jane walked back to the spot where Henry had forced her to face herself those few days ago.

Lowering herself onto a mound of compacted snow, Jane assumed the lotus position, the candle in hands as she looked back at her reflections.

Finally ready to look herself in the eye, she smiled.


	24. Week 42

**A/N: **A short shapter here, and the next one will probably be just as short. You've got a monster of a chapter coming though...

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><p><strong>Week 42<strong>

Four days.

It had been four days since Jane Rizzoli had walked into an ice cave halfway up the Himalayas.

Sat in the lotus position, she had the frozen cavern to herself.

_You're going to have to look._

Hidden in the inky darkness, it was easy to lose track of time. Her muscles were stiff from holding the same position for so long. Her uncombed hair felt matted and greasy. Her clothing, having gone unchanged, made her skin itch.

_And you_ want _to. You know you do._

She felt woozy and lightheaded. She hadn't eaten or slept since entering the cave those four days ago. She'd kept hydrated by eating the snow surrounding her.

_Shine the light into the dark corners._

Reaching for the candle at her feet, the same one that had sat unused since that first night entering the cave, Jane reached into her coat pocket, pulling out the box of matches she carried.

_Gaze into your self-made abyss._

Four days of fasting and meditation, and she still hadn't quite managed to find the courage to look herself in the eye.

Striking the match, she squinted at the flame sputtering to life, the light hurting her eyes. As the match burned, Jane brought the flame to her lone candle.

She made sure to close her eyes as soon as the flame caught.

_See what stares back._

She had come to the cave because she knew she was ready.

She had sat in darkness for four days because the thought of looking back at herself, looking deep into her own eyes and seeing what might be reflected back, terrified her. Did she really want to see the weak, worthless human being she suspected she was looking back at her?

_Don't be scared._

Her heart beat rapidly. She could feel it pounding against her chest, and she was surprised she couldn't hear the _Thump Thump Thump _echoing around her.

Slowly she lifted her head in preparation of facing herself.

_That's right, that's it..._

Her breathing became erratic, short sharp breaths sounding around her.

_Just open your eyes..._

Despite the cold, sweat ran down the side of her face. She could hear blood rushing in her ears.

Slowly she cracked open her eyelids, peering through the straggling strands of hair that fell in front of her face.

_What do you see?_

Jane's eyes snapped open wide.

As before, it was like being in the middle of a funhouse hall of mirrors. The candle light casting dozens of reflections onto the polished ice walls.

"Good question."

She hadn't spoken in four days, so her voice was nothing more than a cracked confused whisper.

Eyes darting around, Jane looked back at herself; looked in every direction on every available surface, looking to find her anxious face, hoping to look herself in the eye.

Except everywhere she looked her face was blank, smooth and without features. She could see her oily black hair and soiled garments, but that was it.

Her mind raced. She had to be hallucinating. Right?

Dazed and confused, and unsure of what she was seeing, Jane continued to look back at her bare reflection.


	25. Week 44

**A/N:** I'll be posting another chapter today. It should be up shortly.

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><p><span><strong>Week 44<strong>

It was late afternoon in Nanda Parbat.

Archie and Henry stood close together, quietly having a discussion about one of the many files stacked on the professor's desk in front of them.

Candle light flickered in the room as Jane opened one of the window shutters in Archie's office.

Looking out over the beautiful landscape before her and the rapidly darkening sky, Jane's thoughts were racing a mile a minute. She had so many... too many, really, questions and half formed ideas; and right now there wasn't much she could do about any of them.

A frustrated sigh escaped her throat, and Archie briefly looked up at the restless woman before turning his attention back to Henry and their back and forth.

Aside from the hushed whispers between the two men, no other sounds disturbed the quiet of the office. Jane strode up to the desk and cleared her throat to break into the conversation.

"I feel like we're getting nowhere."

The two men looked at her, their eyes saying go on.

"We keep deciphering this information, but we're not doing anything with it." Jane watched as the two men shared a look, a twinkle in Archie's eye. Unperturbed, she ploughed on. "What's more, they know we have this information. They have to know we'll get through it all at some point. They could be changing their game plan as we speak."

Without saying a word, the professor stepped away, crossing to the other side of the room rifling through a huge chest.

Shaking her head at Archie's apparent dismissal, Jane looked to her teacher, as if he could give her the answers she was looking for.

Henry Pendragon looked his normal solemn self as he placed his hands down on one of the many piles of pages and books sat on the desk in front of him. "There are a lot of answers to be found in Nanda Parbat, no question about it." Locking eyes with her, he made sure he had her undivided attention. "None of them are going to satisfy you. Not one of them is the one you're looking for."

Jane shifted around when she felt Archie at her back. Turning, she saw he had James' fedora and trench coat. The very same ones he'd been wearing when she'd first met him.

Feeling her heart clench at the memory, Jane found she could not tear her eyes from the items as Archie placed them on his desk in front of her.

With heart-stopping realisation, Jane realised where Henry and the professor were going with this whole conversation.

"No." Blunt and final.

Starting to pace in frustration, Jane waved her arms wildly as she spoke. "I'm _not _him. I'm not going to _be _him." Stopping in front of the professor, Jane crossed her arms in defiance.

Archie responded with visible annoyance. "Believe me, Ms. Rizzoli. I am painfully aware of that fact."

In a reversal of roles, Henry stepped forward, playing peacemaker. "Of course not. You're going to be yourself. That's the way it _should _be..."

""...That's what James wanted." Archie cut in.

Jane's eyes dropped as the truth of their words sunk in. Of course that had been what he wanted. He'd spent all that time teaching her, preparing her...

Henry gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You saw your reflection in the cave, Jane. You saw yourself without ego, without distortion, selfless and ideal."

Jane immediately bristled. All the calm instantly disappearing as the memory of that moment in the ice cave jumped to the forefront of her mind. "I don't know what I saw, Henry!"

Pendragon merely gave her a sly smirk. "Sure you do. It just makes you uncomfortable. It scares you. It should."

How little this all bothered him annoyed Jane greatly. "How reassuring." She replied, her voice heavy with sarcasm. "Is this another lesson about letting go? Is that what this is? Cease being myself to become myself?"

Picking up the fedora, Henry's voice was almost playful. "Lovely paradox. A lot like life."

Jane glared at the man before her. "So I hide in the shadows?" Her gaze briefly shifted to the fedora. "Under this thing? Never letting people know who I am?"

The frustration of her first few encounters with James circled in her memory. It seemed a lifetime ago that he had hidden everything from her.

"You're going to find, like James did, that some questions can only be answered by doing that."

Having spent time on the force undercover, Jane knew the truth of what he was saying.

Seeing her surrender, Henry reached out and gently placed the fedora on her head. The brim of the hat cast a shadow over her face, hiding her features.

"A mask." She whispered.

"A mask." Henry replied in return. "And just like how some questions can only be answered wearing one, there are some that can only be asked when you remove one."

Archie stepped forward, his silence during their exchange coming to an end. "It's time to leave, Jane. Seek your answers elsewhere."

A solitary tear fell as Jane reached up and pulled the hat firmly down.


	26. Week 45

**A/N:** This is my second update today, so if you haven't read the previous chapter, go do so first ;)

Only 4 chapters left! Enjoy the quiet before the storm.

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><p><span><strong>Week 45<strong>

The rain lashed down against the windows of the small tavern. Located in a tiny village near the base of the Himalayas, only a handful of people sat dotted around the cramped room. Two patrons stood out from the rest, clearly not locals. Their clothing and language, if nothing else, clearly giving them away.

Sat at the bar, Jane sipped slowly on her coke as a drunk Englishman beside her rambled on.

The journey back down the mountains was considerably easier than the harrowing trip up. Although Jane doubted anything would ever compare to that intensely gruelling and heart rending trip.

The spring weather was much more conducive to fast travel, and she had been pleasantly surprised at the speed with which she had almost reached the bottom of the mountains.

She'd spent the night in the tavern she was currently in, and had bumped into her drinking partner when she had come down for breakfast this morning.

"I remember you!"

The sudden exclamation from her slurring acquaintance shook Jane from her thoughts. "Excuse me?"

"I remember you. It's been driving me mad. It finally hit me. You came up here, what? A couple months back? You damn near scared half the villagers to death with that screaming and shouting friend of yours. Where is he anyway?" The drunk man spun this way and that, as if James would suddenly appear.

"He died." Jane's tone was solemn, and the man at her side seemed to sober up a bit before her, as his eyes seemed to soften in sympathy.

"My wife died. S'why I'm here, drowning my sorrows. Hiding from everything back home."

Jane glanced sideways at the man. Weighing her next words carefully. "May I ask what happened to your wife?"

"Climbing accident.

Equipment failure, they said." The words were harsh and bitter. "Her family blame me. She never climbed before she met me. It's all my fault." The stranger threw back his drink and indicated he wanted another.

Reaching for his refilled glass, Jane placed her hands on his, stopping the glass from being raised. "I know what it's like to lose people you love. To have the world turn on you for no reason."

The guy tutted under his breath. "You know nothing."

"Almost nothing, sure. But I know about this. I know about the guilt and self loathing at being the one who survived. I know the rage at not having been able to prevent what happened. And I know the shame that comes from believing you've failed those most important to you."

Jane eased the drink from the man's hands. "I know a place. Not too far from here. The monks there, they can help you. They helped me. It's peaceful there."

Lifting the drink, Jane continued, pointing at the brown liquid. "This isn't the answer. Believe me, I know."

Reaching into her bag, she pulled out the map to Nanda Parbat. Sliding it across the bar, she implored the grieving husband with her eyes to take what she was offering. "This is a map. It should take you about a week to get there on foot. You'll know where to go once you get there."

With shaking hands, the man reached out and took the battered rolled up map. "And you? Where are you headed now?"

Looking at the fedora sat on the bar to her left, Jane picked it up and simultaneously scooped up her bag. "Me? I'm going home."


	27. Week 47

**Week 47**

Deep beneath the soil of Boston, a single naked flickering light bulb illuminated a dank, mouldy concrete bunker. A steady _drip drip drip_ sounded from a broken pipe running overhead, and the puddle of murky water permeated the room with a damp smell and feeling. The room seemed to suck all warmth from its occupants.

"...NNoooo." A grunt of pain sounded from the centre of the room. "P-p-puh-lease..."

Strapped to a table in the middle of the room, arms stretched out above him, was an unlucky Boston police officer. A table of bloody instruments sat next to him as he writhed in agony, pulling futilely at his at his restraints.

At the head of the table, Scarlet stared coolly down at the latest man they'd snatched not 24 hours previously. The rookie's uniform had been reduced to shred's by the red heads ministrations. His abused flesh baring evidence of his torturer's craft.

"...I, _Gnnnh_, aah, HURTS IT HURTS..." Whimpering, the young officer begged the cruel woman above him to let him go.

Scarlet smiled down at the man. An excitement in her eyes that sent shivers down his spine.

She slowly, gently, runs her fingers through his hair. Careful to avoid the matted, sticky patches where blood still seeps out.

Despite himself, the officer groaned a little in relief. The groan fast becomes a scream as Scarlet closes her fist tight, yanking his head back violently.

Laughing at the man, she moves round the table, gliding her fingers down his neck, then over his chest. Another blood curdling scream is dragged from the man as she buries her fingers into one of the many deep gashes in his chest. She smiles in ecstasy as she draws his screams out, burying her fingers deeper and deeper into his raw and tender flesh.

"I don't KNOW anything. I've never even... " A sob broke free from the broken man. "...met her..."

Standing in a shadowed corner, Nikolas steps forward. Speaking up in his heavily accented English, he nods at the agonised man, "He knows nothing."

The stretched out officer doesn't even register the mans presence. Instead he continues to babble in fits and gasps. Pleading with the woman beside him.

"...Please, I'm begging you. Aghhh, I don't know where she is..."

Scarlet walks back to the head of the table, pulling out an ornate dagger from a sheath on her thigh.

"...I don't know Maura Isles. I don't know where-"

The hurried desperate words of the tortured officer are cut short as Scarlet plunges the blade into his rapidly beating heart.

There's a gasp, and a choked gurgle, then silence.

Without a word, Nikolas turns on his heel, an unreadable expression on his face, and leaves the room.

* * *

><p>"It didn't work, did it?"<p>

Michael Sonty, head of Intergang, stood gazing out of his office window. He was in his 50's, salt and pepper hair, broad shouldered, and thick with muscle. He cut an imposing figure. Right now his angry stare was fixed on the street below.

Head bowed in deference, Scarlet stood behind his desk looking appropriately shamed at her failure. Nikolas stood furthest away. He listened intently, his mind racing at recent events.

Scarlet spoke up, all the while pulling a handkerchief from Sonty's desk to wipe the blood from her hands. "We'll try again tomorrow. We got unlucky grabbing a rookie. We'll find someone from homicide. They'll know-"

"Nothing." Sonty cut in. "They'll know or say nothing. You'll fail me tomorrow, like you have every night since that bitch went into hiding."

Michael Sonty paced back and forth, then circled behind Scarlet. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he squeezed a little harder than was comfortable for her.

"Everything is ready but this last piece!

"Boston is mine for the taking, but I must have Doyle's bastard child before I can do it."

Scarlet leaned back into the furious wall of muscle behind her. "And you shall, Michael."

"I'm tired of these Irish fools. Doyle's men grow more organised by the day. Even having taken out most of those that were closest to him, the rest band together. That daughter of his has become a figurehead for them to rally around. She has no part of them and yet she spurs them on, makes them stronger. It's unacceptable! It was supposed to be easier than this."

Sonty's fist slammed down on the desk, and Scarlet spun around, this time the front of her body pressing into his. She runs her fingers along his strong jaw line.

"It's only a matter of time. We always succeed in our endeavours. Boston will be no different. We are strong. Invincible. We will not fail."

Angry eyes soften for a moment before hardening, and Sonty spins around to point an accusing finger at Nikolas.

"Again and again you fail to find her, Nikolas. Ever since that one night when you ran terrified from her."

Nikolas steps forward, frustration seeping into his voice as he tries not to lose his temper with his leader. "Rizzoli's old partners come to her rescue. What did you expect me to do? I was outnumbered."

Michael pushed up into Nikolas' face. Invading every inch of his personal space, he spat back at him. "You should have trusted that back up would arrive in time."

"Just like it did for my brother?"

The two men squared off, a silent heated exchange passing between them, before they both lunged for each other at the same time.

Sonty's hands wrapped around Nikolas' throat as the two men crashed to the ground. Struggling furiously, Nikolas gave a knee to his bosses groin.

"Stop it!" Scarlet shouted, trying desperately to think of a way to stop the two men fighting.

Jumping to their feet, the men squared off. Scarlet jumped in between the two, arms out wide as it looked like Nikolas was about to throw a heavy punch.

The two men open their mouths to speak, but are stopped as sonty's personal assistant raced in.

"We got it. Dr. Isles' location. We've found her!"

A manic gleeful smile spreads across Sonty's face, and shares it with the red headed beauty beside him. Scarlet stepped forward, her voice a little breathless whisper. "It'll be a simple matter to place her heart in your hand."

All but forgotten, Nikolas stormed angrily from the room.

* * *

><p><em>3 Days Later<em>

When Jane had left Boston nearly three months ago, the city had been blanketed in snow. Now March was exiting, bringing with it the first hints of spring.

A full moon shone down on the nearly empty streets, and Jane pulled James' trench coat a little tighter around herself. Shoving one gloved hand into her pocket, the other clung to the duffel bag thrown over her shoulder.

Picking up the pace, Jane sped down the familiar street. She couldn't wait to see Maura.

She'd gotten the safe house address from Frost who had been emailing sporadic updates when he could. He of course hadn't out and out sent the address, but had used the code name for the location. Sitting in one of the many airport terminals reading through his updates on her journey home, Jane had been relieved she remembered.

Approaching the house, a warm feeling spread throughout her body. In a few moments she'd have her wonderful, beautiful Maura back in her arms.

Just as she was reaching for the doorbell, Jane noticed the door was slightly ajar.

An icy chill of fear swept through her. Carefully pushing the door open, ears straining for any sounds. Cautiously she called out into the darkness, "Maura?"

Reaching for a light switch, the balls of nerves in Jane's stomach only intensified when it didn't turn on.

Walking down the hallway, her eyes adjusted to the gloom and her heart sank. Pushing into the main room, Jane found it to be totalled. The windows were smashed, furniture slashed and tossed aside, and the floor was covered in debris. A stiff breeze rattled the half dangling curtains, and pages from fallen books scattered around an overturned bookcase fluttered back and forth.

Dropping her duffel bag, Jane could only gasp in horror at the sight before her. She was surround by signs of a huge struggle. There was blood spatter on the walls and floor.

"Maura," Jane whispered hollowly.

The fact that no body was present provided little comfort, and kneeling by the nearest pool of blood, Jane fought back the urge to vomit at the sheer amount of it.

"They took her." A familiar male voice confirmed.

Removing her fedora, Jane looked hopelessly back at Frost. Standing where the back door should have been, Frost looked fearsome in his determined stance.

"We're going to get her back."

The hopeless look on Jane's face lessened a little.

_Hold on, Maura. I'm coming._


	28. Week 48

**A/N: **Phew! Glad I got this one out so quickly. You can probably guess what I spent my easter weekend doing...

I hope you enjoy, and uh, I swear I'll try and get the next chapter up just as fast ;)

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><p><span><strong>Week 48<strong>

_Day 1_

Boston had way too many warehouses, at least as far as Jane was concerned. Heavy crates were piled high on wooden pallets as she and Frost invaded yet another murky storage facility in search of a lead on Maura's current whereabouts.

Frost surged forward, barrelling into two men shifting a crate, as Jane pulled her weapon, firing a warning shot just past the ear of a third man reaching for his own weapon.

"WHERE-"

_Day 2_

Music pulsed loudly, and lights flickered in time to the beat as Jane crashed down behind a fallen table. Wood splintered as a bullet tore through her cover, and Jane rolled aiming her gun in the direction the shots had come from.

The gun wielding thug crashed to the ground with a yell, blood spurting from a hole in his shoulder where Jane's shot had landed.

Spinning, Jane saw Frost land a kick to the midsection of a man attempting to sneak up on him. Rushing forward, she pulled him up. Shouting over the noise in the seedy club, Jane made sure she was heard as she shook the mobster.

"-IS-"

_Day 3_

Early morning light filtered through the large windows of the sprawling property, and sounds of panic and fighting could be heard coming from inside.

Jane's fist connected with the mobster's jaw, and she watched as one of his teeth flew across the room. Frost stood behind her, weapon raised, trained on a handful of men and women trying to think of a way to get out of their current situation unharmed.

Giving a sharp kick in the ribs to the man at her feet, Jane spun to face the cowering crowd. Fury flashing across her face as she spat the question she'd yet to get an answer to.

"-SONTY?!"

* * *

><p>"Where is Sonty?" She demanded. "Where?"<p>

There were few people in the warehouse, but no one chose to speak up, and Jane failed to see the man sneaking out of the shadows to her right. She reeled backwards with the force of the blow she received, but managed to keep a hold of her weapon. Going with the momentum, Jane spun on her heel and delivered a roundhouse kick to her attacker, knocking him out cold. Smirking, she sent up a silent thank you to Henry for his combat training.

Focusing back on her surroundings, Jane could see Frost struggling with a guy twice his size. Carefully taking aim, she squeezed the trigger, and smiled in satisfaction as the bullet tore a hole through the big guys hat, sending it sailing to the ground. As the man froze in fear, Frost quickly managed to gain the upper hand. Engaging the safety, she tossed him her gun. Frost had lost his not long after the fight broke out.

Noticing a gun at her feet, Jane saw that it matched the ordnance that the men had been in the process of unloading. Checking to see if it was loaded, she couldn't help but remember her first battle with an Intergang thug, in a shadowy warehouse much like this one. Then she'd fought beside James instead of Barry Frost, but that wasn't all that had changed in the last ten months or so. Now James was dead, and Maura might be too.

Jane wore James' hat and trench coat in memory of her friend. She desperately hoped he would remain the only loved one she had to mourn.

* * *

><p>Maura Isles stumbled as Nikolas landed a heavy blow to the back of her head. After nearly a week in captivity, her clothes were torn and filthy. Heavy iron shackles weighed down her chaffed wrists and ankles, and she struggled to keep her footing as she was forced to follow Scarlet blindfolded.<p>

A split lip testified to her rough treatment at the hands of her captors. Scabs and bruises, many of them from her capture at the safe house, formed a black and blue mosaic over her battered flesh. Her long honey-blonde hair was matted and badly in need of wash, and a few streaks of congealed blood could be seen in it.

Stumbling into her latest cell, the rough concrete floor felt cold and unyielding beneath her. Her stomach growled piteously, having only been given water for days now. Disorientated, Maura couldn't recall how many days had passed since her capture. Locked away from the sun, starved and beaten, it was hard to keep track of the time. She wasn't even sure why she was still alive. Her thoughts strayed to Jane. Wondering if she'd ever see her again. Wanting to know if she was even alive.

Forced to lay flat on her stomach, the cold ground leeched any remaining warmth from her body. She shivered uncontrollably. The cold shiver turned to one of revulsion as she felt Scarlet press up against her and run her hands up her back. _Jane..._

Scarlet peeled back Maura's blindfold revealing more signs of abuse. Two swollen black eyes stood out prominently in her now sunken features.

Maura breathed a sigh of relief at at least being able to see her surroundings, then panicked as she felt a needle jabbed into her neck. A narcotic numbness quickly spread through her veins. She struggled against the drugs effects, but within moments she couldn't even remember why she was fighting back. Her eyes rolled back, until only the whites were visible. It felt as if her limbs were melting into the ground, limp and boneless. The last thing she was aware of before succumbing completely to the drugs effects, were Scarlet's cool fingers stroking her cheek.

_Day 4_

Intergang. A vile, corrupt group of individuals. City after city around the world had succumbed to their power plays. They'd started off small, and with each new conquest, their sights grew bigger. Boston was their largest and most complex target yet, by far. In the eyes of those running Intergang, the world was or should be a place without virtue. It's a world of murder, rape, abuse and extortion. Every possible crime is venerated and praised. It's a group that celebrates the worst of humanity.

Blood dripped from Michael Sonty's hands. He wiped them off on a towel, then angrily threw it to the floor. "This wasn't supposed to happen!" An angry vein pulsed against his temple as he looked to those around him. "We've been shifting that bitch from place to place while we wait on idiots that couldn't even take power from Doyle's men."

He ripped his tailored suit jacket from his stocky frame, rage seeming to seep from his every pore. The body of a dead man lay at his feet, his skull pounded beyond recognition by the mob boss' bare hands, just because he had been the unfortunate barer of bad news.

Nikolas looked on in disdain, frowning at the lack of control the man showed. His barely concealed contempt was getting much more difficult to hide. He'd had enough of the lunatics tantrums.

"Calm, Michael. The time is upon us now. They have all arrived, and are now waiting on us." Scarlet soothed.

Nikolas waited by the office door, which was guarded by two foul smelling men. Crinkling his nose in disgust, he kept his distance from Sonty, but he watched as Scarlet rushed to mollify their leader. A flash of jealousy rushed through him, which only added to his sour mood. He was wishing he and Scarlet (along with his now dead brother) had never gotten involved with Intergang and their insane leader.

"I should've carved her heart out the minute she was in our possession!" Sonty roared.

"It would have set us back a great deal more if we hadn't struck this bargain. They see her die at our hand, then they scuttle back to whatever hole they came from. Doyle's loyal remaining few will surely abandon whatever idiot ties they have to one another once their precious figurehead dies."

Slinking up behind Sonty, Scarlet wrapped her arms around his thick neck, a serene smile lazily appearing on her face. "Tonight this will all end. Do not worry about this minor setback. I'll send Nikolas to the warehouse to stop Rizzoli getting the word out about our little morning surprise."

Nikolas' lip curled up into a sneer. He'd had enough of playing clean up for Sonty.

The mob boss looked to Nikolas. The hate between the two was palpable. "I do not want that incompetent fool anywhere near anything important tonight."

Scarlet reached out her hand. Trying to calm to the rapidly raging man. "Michael-"

"NO! Send others! Your dog's time is done here, Scarlet."

Sonty gave a nod to the two men guarding the door. They reached for Nikolas, as more approached him from behind. Sonty stepped forward ramming a powerful fist into Nikolas' gut.

* * *

><p>Barry Frost fought to get free, but his arms were held behind his back while another guy laid into him, He tried to absorb the blow as much as he could, but he was quickly reaching his limit. The constant fights this past week and really worn him down.<p>

Suddenly released, he was thrown into the side of a large steel cargo container. Jane winced in sympathy as she raced towards him, watching as one of the thugs straddled her former partner and began trying to gouge his eyes out. Jumping into a nearby forklift truck, she sped towards a stack of crates behind the two men beating on the downed man. Jumping clear at the last moment, she watched as she rolled to a stop, the truck crashing into the side of the crates. The top crate toppled down spilling its contents. Piles of heavy timber crashed into the two men. Frost managed to avoid most of the impact as the man straddling him took any blows that would have landed on him.

Jane moved quickly to Frost, pulling him out from under the timber and the man now almost fully covering him.

"Thanks for the save." Frost breathed out weakly.

"Anytime."

The two former partners shared a look. They hadn't stopped to catch up since looking for Maura. They'd barely had a chance to say hello or a moment to eat or sleep, let alone talk about… everything. Frost nodded at Jane, and she gave him a small, quick smile.

She glanced around the warehouse, the fight apparently over for now. The few men that had been conscious had clearly decided to make a run for it rather than stick around for another beating or interrogation. She hoped the two men buried under the heavy timber weren't too badly injured to answer any questions. She was growing frustrated. _What was the point of trashing this place if it doesn't get us any closer to Maura?_

Blinking lights caught her attention, and she looked up at the damaged stack of crates she had rammed. Jane's heart leapt into her throat. She was suddenly very glad the forklift had only glanced off the side of the bottom crate, tearing out a chunk of the wood and leaving a sizable hole in its place. Inside was what looked like a very large bomb.

* * *

><p><em>You left me with so many questions, James.<em>

Frost was crouched down low, looking intently at the device they'd uncovered in the shipping container. There was no mistaking the worried cast of his mouth and jaw. They matched Jane's perfectly.

_Just the way you would have wanted it, I know._

Jane, leaning back against a nearby crate looked worried, but there was also a calmness about her that unnerved Frost a little. She cut an impressive figure in her trench coat and hat, all shadows and sharp angles. Maura had told him countless times since their reunion, that Jane wasn't the same woman that he once knew. He was beginning to realise now just how true that was. For the last several days they'd been combing the city for Maura, hitting everything from swanky mob controlled nightclubs to skeezy strip joints in the worst parts of town, they'd chased clue after clue, and Jane had been like a machine, showing an impressive array of skills. Physically, she'd never been better, and the way she handled the men they encountered was downright terrifying at times. She'd always been able to handle a weapon, but now her body was one too. The moves he'd seen her pull off were amazing. If this were the good old days he'd be calling her Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee right now.

He'd also caught glimpses of the scars littering her body. "She didn't tell me anything…"

If he'd been looking at her, he'd have noticed Jane raise an eyebrow in his direction.

"You know, about where you've been and stuff. She just told me that you've been through a lot. Seen a lot.

To be honest a part of me didn't believe her. I can see now that I was wrong."

Jane remained quiet. What was there to say to that.

"She's really fought for you lately…"

Jane nodded. "That sounds like her." She wondered if Frost knew about the shift in their relationship… Not that it really mattered. She gestured at the ominous looking device. "So what do you think?"

_But that big one, it still eludes me._

Accepting the change of topic, Frost shared his thoughts. "I think it's safe to say it's a bomb of some sort, and I think I should stop messing with it. Better left for the experts. I'm going to call it in."

"I'd rather not be here for that, if you don't mind."

_Who am I?_

Frost fixed her with a pointed look. "You know, there's some folks that'd be pretty psyched to see you. Catch up with the former detective with the highest clearance rate in BPD history."

_Who am I going to be?_

"I'm still a _detective_." She said forcefully.

Turning away from Frost and the device, she squatted down in front of one of the pinned men. Pulling him up by the lapels of his jacket, she got right up in his face as she gave the bloodied man her most intimidating interrogation stare. More than willing to play bad cop, she shifted her weight to lean on the timber pinning the mans legs. A moan of agony escaped before he whimpered and bit down on his tongue to silence himself. "Where's Sonty? Where's the woman he kidnapped?"

The man looked genuinely terrified of the woman leaning over him, but he spat out his next words with a surprising amount of confidence. "It's too late! You will burn, all of Boston will burn!"

"He's right…" A new menacing voice shouted.

_What was it that drove you, James? Was it simply the need to ask questions? Was it the satisfaction in finding the answers? Or was it something else entirely?_

"And it'll start with you!"

"Rizzoli!"

Heeding the warning in Frost's voice, Jane instinctively dove to her left. It wasn't a moment too soon as a molotov cocktail exploded right where she had been moments before. Flames quickly licked at the pile of timber, and soon after the agonising screams of the two pinned men echoed around the warehouse.

Doing her best to ignore the smell of burning flesh, Jane did a quick scan of the room. There were four men that she could see, and glancing up, she noticed one standing atop a stack of crates, another flaming cocktail launching from his hands.

The blast barely missed Jane again, and she looked hurriedly around for cover. Making a run for it, she heard Frost calling out to her.

"The device! Don't let them-" His warning was cut off as he dodged an incoming blow. "-activate the device!"

Looking around, Jane could see the men converging on the bomb. Considering how close they had allowed the flames get to it, they clearly weren't concerned about getting it out of the warehouse undetonated. One of the men charged at her, and bringing her gun up, she smacked him across the face with it before charging on. She could hear her soles pounding across the concrete as she raced past the smouldering remains of the two pinned men. The nauseating smell slowed her momentarily as she fought her gag reflex.

Frost had managed to sneak up on the man throwing the flaming cocktails, and landed a right hook. Unfortunately as the mobster fell he managed to sweep his feet out from under him. Landing with a thud, and gasping for breath, Frost looked up in horror as the fire happy guy snatched a lit bottle and backed up a little. Realising he had no time, Frost rolled, but let out a yell of pain as flames licked briefly at one of his legs. He came to a stop at the man's feet.

"Activate the device," the man yelled, before landing a solid kick to Frost's ribs.

Jane was gaining on the man closest to the device, but came to a sudden halt as she was charged from the side. Grunting as she hit the ground, she looked up to see someone had reached the open container. Kicking at the man on her back, she pulled her gun in front of her as she took aim. Pulling the trigger, she saw the bullet rip through the mans shoulder.

Struggling for breath after her fall, Jane yelped as she was pulled up from the ground. Thick meaty hands restrained her.

"Shoot her!"

One of the men raced over and pulled the gun from her hand. He leered at her as he stepped back.

_A means to fight your own demons?_

Hands around his throat, Frost gasped for air as he brought his knee to his attackers groin.

"You can't win." The man hissed out.

Still sucking in air, an unfamiliar voice caused Frost to look up.

"I wouldn't be so sure." A huge hulk of a man reached forward and snapped his attacker's neck with his bare hands. He then raised his hand, took aim, and shot the man holding Jane's gun.

_Not that I'd know anything about that._

Instantly recognising Nikolas, Jane was thrown. Why was he suddenly saving their hides?

The remaining men seemed stunned. Unsure how to react to Scarlet's bodyguard showing up and killing their own.

Jane used the momentary confusion to her advantage, and flipped the guy holding her over her back to the hard ground at her feet.

_Not that I've spent far too much time spoiling for a fight…_

Jane brought her foot down on the guys stomach, then kicked him in the head. Watching him pass out cold.

…_Looking for a way to pour my rage out upon the world before it could eat me alive._

Walking to the man with a hole in his head, she took her gun from his lifeless hand. Looking over at her allies, she could see the two men breathing heavily. Unsure what to make of Nikolas' arrival and apparent turn, she eyed the man suspiciously. He'd clearly been through a hell of a lot. A massive brawl from the looks of things. One of his eyes was swollen shut, a piece of one of his ears was missing, and he was covered in all manor of cuts, scrapes and bruises that he hadn't attained just now.

He stood at the feet of the man's neck he had just broken, and Jane's memory flashed to the Congo where all those men had been brutally slaughtered by him. She trusted the man before her about as much as she'd trust Charles Hoyt if he were still alive. "The save buys you an explanation, but not a whole lot more, Nikolas."

"You want a bloody explanation? I'm sick of-" He stopped talking as his good eye widened in recognition. "What happened to the forth man?"

"Shit!" Jane spun round, he eyes darting to the bomb.

_That's why you chose me, isn't it? Because in me, you saw the reflection of yourself._

In all the excitement, they'd all lost track of how many men they'd taken out. All three widened their eyes as they saw the man pushing buttons on the device.

"NO!" Jane and Frost screamed simultaneously, running to take down the man.

"We have to stop him," Jane shouted.

Reaching for the two of them, Nikolas pulled them back and started dragging them towards the exit. "It's too late!" Looking back he watched as he saw the man finish pressing buttons. "Get down! Get-"

They cleared the entrance and hit the ground only a second before the bomb detonated. A sudden burst of heat flared against Jane's face as the device ignited. A ball of liquid flame shot through the warehouse consuming everything in its path.

As debris flies in all directions, glass, wood, metal and concrete bite into the skin of the three people huddled on the floor just outside of what remains of the warehouse structure.

A red hot glow baths the three, and Jane can hear nothing but a high pitched ringing in her ears. Laying there, unable to move, she thinks of Maura. _Beautiful, kind, loving Maura._ Despite the heat, the thought of what Michael might be doing to her turns Jane's blood to ice.

Groaning, she shifts, but realises that Nikolas is on top of her. She wriggles and moans as the larger man rolls off of her. Blinking a number of times, her eyes adjust to the inferno before her. She can feel Frost starting to move, and as the ringing in her ears starts to lessen, she looks to Nikolas for answers.

He nods behind them, indicating they should move back from the unbearable heat. Dragging herself to her feet, Jane watches as Nikolas does the same, then they help Frost to his. Together they walk a good fifty metres before dropping exhausted to the ground.

Sirens can be heard faintly in the distance.

_Who am I, James?_

"So?" That one word sums up all of Jane's questions, and Nikolas seems to understand.

"Boston burns tonight. A series of bombs have been placed, or are in the process of being planted in key locations around the city. BPD, Mass Gen, City Hall… You get the idea."

"That doesn't make sense," She objected. "If Intergang wants Boston, why turn it into a flaming mess?"

"Because Sonty wants the city on its knees. The emergency services and media will be so preoccupied with the rescue opporations that they won't notice Intergang sweeping in. The police will be spread so thin, they'll hardly be able to lift a finger against Sonty and his men for a good long while."

_Who am I going to be?_

"What about Maura Isles?" Jane asked. Trying to keep the nervous shake from her voice. "Is she still alive?"

Nikolas nodded, and Jane almost passed out with relief.

"But not for much longer. She's due to be executed anytime now."

"Over my dead body." Jane growled.

Nikolas was unimpressed with her bravado. "Easy enough for him to do, girl! Bloody hell, even if you can save her, it won't be enough."

"Then stop wasting time," Frost demanded. "And tell us what will be."

"Each device had to be shut down. They're rigged on a timer-"

Jane stepped away, putting some distance between herself and the men. She could feel her future taking shape.

"We'll split up," Frost spoke up. "You and Rizzoli go after the bombs, I'll-"

"No," Jane said firmly. "It's got to be you two that go after the devices."

_Who am I? Who am I going to be?_

"Nikolas knows the locations and how to shut them down, and Frost, you're the only one with a badge that can get you clearance into these places.

"I'll take care of Sonty."

Frost looked at her questioningly. "You'll be going into the hornets nest alone. Would you die for this? For her? Because you might."

Jane showed nothing but strength and determination as she looked her former partner in the eye. "Wouldn't you?"

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><p>The answers start coming fast, courtesy of Nikolas. Where the bombs are. Where they plan on killing Maura. And he's written Jane off by the time they leave her. He doesn't bother saying anything. Not even a goodbye. Frost though, even though he's grinding his teeth at the thought of leaving Jane to rescue Dr. Isles on her own, he shakes her hand and pulls her in for a hug, then wishes her luck. It's the best goodbye they have time for.<p>

Then the men are gone, and Jane's heading for the docks. Doyle's former territory. She imagines they're all trying to make a statement by killing Doyle's flesh and blood here. The thought only fuels Jane's anger. Her resolve.

A full moon shines down reflecting off the water, and Jane sprints as stealthily as she can, as she approaches an entrance to a square of warehouses. Looking at her watch, she has thirty minutes left before Nikolas' two hour deadline passes. _I'm coming, Maura._

The padlock securing the gate was easy enough to pick, and silently she slips through the chain link fence, scaffolding and tarps that are everywhere. In a shadowy corner she peers out and spots a man standing guard outside the entrance to the warehouse Maura should be inside.

He had his back to her right now, and spotting a weighty looking metal bar on the ground, Jane scoops it up moving towards the man. He doesn't see her coming, and only feels her presence at his back just as she's swinging the bar down. He sinks to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Hooking her arms under the unconscious man, she drags him back around the corner, making sure he's secured and well hidden behind one of the tarps.

Checking her weapon one last time, Jane looked around the open area. It was quiet, not much security, but when you were arranging a meeting of a lot of crime families and gangs, she supposed they all looked out for themselves, not wanting to put their lives in un-trusted hands.

The large warehouse had several entrances, and looking through the one window she could see, there didn't appear to be anyone inside. She might have panicked had that guard not been standing outside.

Using her lock picking skills once more, Jane slid the door open a tiny amount before slipping inside, pulling the door closed behind her. She could barely see, but it didn't appear to matter. The place was deathly quiet. Walking through the empty space, Jane tried not to think about how little time she had left. Precious minutes passed, and she was about to start stressing when a faint sound caught her attention. Following her ear, she wound up at the top of a stairwell leading down.

_Always a freakin' basement._ Treading carefully, the metal rebar in hand, Jane carefully negotiated the twisting staircase. There's light peaking out through a doorway, and the noise she heard earlier makes itself known as a voice. One that's very familiar. The sly, cold tones of Scarlet drift out through the door. _"…Bound and gagged, hostage and victim, prisoner…"_

The voice still makes her skin crawl, and as she furtively peeks her head round the door her heart almost stops, as she shudders in outrage and revulsion.

On the far side of the room, the gathered witnesses all stand huddled together around another staircase leading up, their eyes are fixed on the centre of the room. Jane barely registers their presence. Instead her eyes are drawn to the terrifying sight of Maura, lying chained and gagged, atop a large stone slab. The black eyes and swollen lip make Jane's heart clench, and it takes all her willpower not to rush in immediately as she watches the woman she loves squirm and tug at her bonds.

Michael Sonty and Scarlet stood next to the bound woman, and Scarlet continued to taunt her as she circled around her soon to be victim. Sonty leaned over and leered at the beautiful doctor. Maura, using what little leeway she had, pushed her head forwards, driving it into the gang leaders face. His nose instantly gushed with blood and in a fury he struck Maura hard on the check. Reaching up, he swiped at the blood streaming from his nose, then ran his bloodied hand across Maura's face. As she tried to pull away the Irish gathering laughed. Plucking a handkerchief from his pocket, Sonty cleaned himself up as best he could.

_You remember the Congo, James? The girl I killed, the gang member? …What goes around comes around._

Pulling his knife from a sheath, Michael Sonty looms over Maura. He looks to the gathered men, nodding briefly at them. The time had come.

Quickly, Jane pulls her weapon, her sights fixed between Sonty's eyes. She wants the bastard dead. As he rears back with the knife, Jane squeezes the trigger. The shot goes wild, hitting one of the gathered men, as Jane is tackled from behind.

Shouts of outrage echo around the room as the men start running up the other staircase. A few random shots are fired, but before long only Jane, Maura, Scarlet, Sonty and the guard that snuck up on Jane remain in the room.

As Jane hit's the ground, she silently sends up a thank you that she still has her gun. She could hear Sonty shouting furiously in background, but it was Scarlet's firm command of "Kill her! Kill her!" that really got her moving.

She grappled with the guy on top of her, pistol whipping the infuriating man. She didn't have time for this. As he slumped into her arms, she pushed him off to the side and jumped to her feet. She couldn't see Michael Sonty, but ducked out of the way as Scarlet charged at her.

"Foolish girl. We will kill her."

Jane said nothing, choosing instead to focus on taking down her target. Throwing her left fist, she watched it connect solidly, Scarlet reeling backwards. Taking advantage, she swiftly followed it up with a kick then a knee to the stomach. The woman dropped to the ground. Seizing the opportunity, Jane turned to Maura. She was about to move towards her when Scarlet grabbed her ankle, twisted it, and tugged her to the ground. With a startled yelp, Jane crashed to the floor along side Scarlet. As she's righting herself she catches a glimpse of Michael Sonty approaching Maura. Scarlet shoves her back down, and she bucks wildly as the redhead moves to straddle her. She feels cold hands slips around her throat and squeeze. Choking, Jane tries desperately to free herself, using her hands to try and pry the fingers from her throat. Her vision starts to grow fuzzy, and a darkness is creeping in around the edges. Knowing she has little time, she cast her hands around, wildly groping at the floor, hoping she'll find something useful. Just as she's growing too tired to move, her fingers brush against cool hard metal. Closing her hand around the weapon, she uses what little strength she has remaining to lift the gun and pull the trigger.

She barely registers the blood and gore that splash across her face, or the dead weight that drops across her. All she can think about is sucking in precious lungfuls of air. Taking ragged breaths, Jane's focus suddenly snaps back. _MAURA!_

Hurling the lifeless body from her with more strength than she should have at this point, she struggles to her feet. Spinning round to the centre of the room, her eyes fall on the Intergang leader with his dagger raised.

"NO! NO DON'T!"

She could only watch as Michael Sonty plunged the dagger into Maura's chest.

Her mouth was still gagged, so her cries were muffled, but her body arched up in agony. The man's eyes blazed with satisfaction.

_Not again. _"NO! No no no no." Jane screamed. The sound was almost inhuman, and she emptied her gun in rage. The _bang bang bang_ of the gun doing little to mask her cries. The first bullet grazed his skull as another slammed into his shoulder. His body flew backwards away from the dagger embedded in Maura's chest.

Racing death, Jane rushed forward. "No, Maura hold on, no…"

_Not again. Not this time._

Reaching Maura, Jane scooped a gun up from the floor, and carefully shot at her restraints freeing her. Tossing the gun aside, Jane leaned over Maura, unsure what to do. How to save her. Tears started to streak down her blood stained face, as she pressed her hands over the wound as best she could. "You're not doing this." She insisted, carefully tugging the gag away from Maura's mouth. "You're _not _dying…"

The grisly sight before her seemed to mock her pleas. The dagger was buried deeply in Maura's chest. There wasn't a lot of blood visible yet, but Jane knew a mortal wound when she saw one. Jane's memory flashed to James dying in her arms amidst a plain of blood stained snow.

_This time it's different._

"Maura… I-I don't know what to do." The heartbreaking plea was little more than a sob. "Should I take the knife out?" Her shaking hand closed around the hilt, but she paused as Maura stirred. Her voice a faint whisper. "No…"

Jane leant in closer, wanting to make sure she caught every word. "No, that'll make it w-worse…" Maura weakly lifted her hand, fingers grazing lightly across Jane's tear stained cheeks. "You came back."

"Not for long!" Sonty growled as he ripped Jane from Maura's side. Blood dripped from his wounded skull and shoulder. She croaked loudly, as his powerful hands squeezed her larynx. Throwing her back into the rear wall, he screamed at her as she crashed to the floor, her heading audibly thunking on the ground. "I'm gonna rip your head off!"

"Jane!" Maura gasped, too weak to intervene.

Staggering to her knee's, Jane fought to keep her wits about her. Chances were she already had a concussion. She blinked dazedly as Sonty stalked up to her. He reached down and twisted her arm up. The one with the gun.

_Oh, this is bad in so very many ways._

"By the way, I'll take that gun, now, if you don't mind."

As the weapon was ripped painfully from her fingers, Jane shakily spoke up. "Hey, all you had to do was ask."

"Funny," Unamused by her flippant response, he pitched her headfirst back into the wall. Falling into a heap, she managed to roll onto her back. Her breaths were coming in gasps, and her head felt like it was going to crack open any moment now and explode. It was taking everything she had not to vomit down herself as she pulled her body up the wall slightly, propping herself against it. If she was going to die, she wanted the last thing she saw to be Maura. Unfortunately his massive frame blocked her view.

"Let's see if you make a funny pile of rotting bones." Sonty snarked.

Jane shifted to peer around him. Ignoring the man as he raised his gun. "I wouldn't do that." She whispered hoarsely.

"You wouldn't?" Sonty sneered down at the woman at his feet. "And why not?"

He stiffened abruptly. Eyes growing wide, the congealed blood on his face shifting as he opened his mouth wide in surprise.

"She wasn't talking to you, Michael." Maura explained, kneeling on the stone slab. Her hands let go of the daggers hilt. "She was talking to _me._"

Sonty toppled forward, landing facedown on the floor. The hilt jutting from his back, blood spreading rapidly.

_This time it's different…_

"Think maybe… I shouldna done… that." Maura slurred out. The last of her strength evaporating, she collapsed and fell from the stone table. Jane stumbled forward, catching her before she hit the ground. With the blade no longer sealing the wound, blood was pouring freely from the hole in her chest. Jane pulled Maura into her arms, her hands pressing over the wound. "Stay with me, Maura… " The desperation was clear as she gently rocked the woman in her arms. "We're not done yet. Stay with me…" One hand remained on top of the wound, as a blood slick hand fumbled in her pocket. "…This time it's different…"

_This time it's different._

_This time it's different._

_This time it's different._


	29. Week 50

**A/N:** So it's taken me forever to update, but I got here eventually. I greatly appreciate you reviews and PM's, and I hope you all know I got this to you as soon as I could. Only 1 (maybe 2) chapters left to go!

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><p><span><strong>Week 50<strong>

Jane's mood was heavy and her thoughts dark as she passed through the main gates of Boston Common.

The weather appeared to be in tune with her feelings; rain saturating the earth and thunder rumbling overhead.

"_I can't find a pulse."_

She felt like she was walking in slow motion as her boots pounded the gravel beneath her feet. The noise of the tiny stones adding to the cacophony of sounds bombarding the troubled brunette.

"_Charge to 300. Clear!"_

Lightening forked across the tumultuous grey sky disturbing a handful of sheltering birds, their piercing squawks ringing out as they took to the stormy sky, looking elsewhere for shelter.

An eerie silence following in the moments after.

"_No response. We're losing her."_

Approaching a familiar sheltered bench, Jane pulled her trench coat tighter around herself as she took a seat.

There was barely a soul in the park. The bad weather and late hour keeping the citizens of her city away. It was as empty as she felt.

Peering out into the rain soaked night, a dark figure approached.

_Sliding down the wall to sit beside his friend, Barry Frost reached over, his hand coming to rest on Jane's arm. He hoped it would provide some small measure of comfort._

_With no response he peered closely at the woman beside him. She looked like hell. Heck, she looked like she'd been to hell and back several times over. Her face was heavily bruised, her clothes torn in several places, and there was blood on her nearly everywhere he looked. He could feel his stomach start to rebel as he realised the majority of it was Maura's not Jane's. Taking a steadying breath, he realised he probably didn't look much better, but he had at least allowed the paramedics to look him over, and had gotten cleaned up a bit._

_Upon arrival at Mass Gen, Jane had refused medical help. Refused any offer to sit or to be moved to a more comfortable area. Wild eyed she insisted on waiting just outside the operating theatre, standing sentinel, waiting for any scrap of news, scant inches from the locked doors she wasn't allowed to pass through, not giving a damn about her own physical pain or appearance._

_She had only lowered herself to the floor when standing had become too much for her concussed body to handle._

_The updates had been infrequent, and seventeen hours had passed before the surgeon passed through the doors for the final time to speak to the broken looking brunette huddled on the floor._

Umbrella raised, Frost approached at a rapid pace. He looked tired and worn. It was his first day back after the beatings he'd taken two weeks ago, and he'd asked for Jane to meet him here.

Ducking under the shelter, he lowered his umbrella, shaking it out before closing it.

Seating himself beside Jane he took a close look at the woman who had been through so much. Too much.

"_It's not your fault, Jane."_

_No response._

She clearly wasn't sleeping. Dark rings under her eyes stood out prominently on her too pale skin. If he had to take a guess, he'd say she wasn't eating much, if at all, either.

Still, despite her clear exhaustion, she sat up straight and alert, eyes on constant look out for danger.

He'd only been in the thick of it for a week. One week of constant adrenaline, and danger around every corner. The months preceding that final showdown, that final taxing week, had been long. Boston's biggest ever crime wave. They hadn't had a chance to stop, to gather their wits. It had been tiring, trying to connect the dots with only scant information and next to no leads.

He couldn't begin to imagine how Jane felt. She'd been on Intergang's trail for nearly a year now. He may not know the details, but he knew it had been unbelievably trying. Torture, death, self discovery and recovery. Jane had been remade over this past year; and that wasn't even taking into account the emotional and personal downward spiral she had been in the months after the warehouse shooting, Paddy Doyle's death and the break down of hers and Dr. Isles' friendship.

Lesser people would have broken a long time ago. With pride Barry Frost looked at the woman who he used to call partner, and despite the distance between them at the moment, he was proud to call friend. Jane Rizzoli was not most people.

During his time off, BPD had mopped up what had remained of this mess. With Sonty and Scarlet's deaths, not to mention a whole host of others, what remained of Intergang's presence in Boston had quickly fled. There had been numerous arrests. Those of Intergang who didn't clear out fast enough, a fair number of members of the Irish clans, and a whole host of small and first time offenders looking to make a quick buck or take advantage when the city's resources were stretched so thin. There was still a lot of work to do, arrests were still being made, and Barry had spent his first day back chained to his desk processing paperwork for a lot of what had been done over the past fortnight. It was what had prompted him to speak to Cavanaugh then ask Jane to meet him here.

She needed, if nothing else right now, a distraction.

_Pushing open the door to Maura's house Jane was greeted with an overwhelming silence. Closing the door behind her, she stood at the entrance to the living room, her eyes falling immediately on the couch. Images of a much needed comforting kiss from Christmas flashed in her mind. The gentle touch of Maura's fingers gliding across her skin, supple lips moulding to her own. Her need for Maura in that moment had been fierce, but now it was crushing, devastating. _

_Tears started to fall heavily as another memory contrasted heavily with the previous one. Maura's life blood spreading rapidly as Jane did everything she could to stop the free flow of crimson spreading. Willing with everything she had for Maura to live, to breathe, for her heart to keep beating long enough for the paramedics to arrive and fix this nightmare._

_Begging, pleading with the woman in her arms not to give up._

_It felt like an eternity ago that Jane had watched as the woman she loved pulled a dagger from her chest to save her life from a madman. Her eyes kept flicking to the stairs, hoping for the EMT's to come barrelling down them. Maura's whimpers of pain had been a constant, but they paused as she caught Jane's eye. Her laboured breathing the only sound as Jane paused in her continued attempt to keep the dying woman in her arms conscious._

_Hazel and brown connected, and for a moment everything was okay. Then as Maura's eyes drifted shut, an eerie inhuman wail left Jane as she felt Maura's body still beneath her._

_Shaking her head, as if to will away the memory, she moved through the house making her way to Maura's bedroom. Heart pounding, she pushed open the door. Her senses immediately bombarded with all things Maura._

_Sitting on the bed, Jane noticed a framed picture of the two of them together. She didn't know if it had always been there, or if it had recently been put there after their reconciliation, but it made her heart ache. Reaching out, her fingers brushed over the smiling honey-blonde. The picture had been taken during a far simpler time, and Jane wished she could turn back the clock. Wished she could forget what it felt like as her blood slick hands pushed down on Maura's chest ardently willing it to beat once more; or what it felt like to fill Maura's lungs with her own breath._

Frost cleared his throat, snapping Jane out of her haunting memories. "You looked like you were elsewhere then."

"I was."

Jane didn't elaborate. Frost didn't ask her to. It wasn't needed.

"Any si-" He was cut off before he could finish his question. "No."

His head hung for a moment. He thought that would be the answer. He knew Jane would've have called or not come at all if the answer was anything else but no, but he still had to ask. Sometimes false hope was better than no hope.

Jane was starting to look restless, no doubt she was wondering why he'd asked her here today. He was struggling to find a way to start the conversation, when Jane spoke up giving him the perfect segue.

"How was your first day back on the job?"

"Non-stop. Paperwork from start to finish." The two former partners shared a grim smile. Like most people, they hated the paperwork portion of their job. "With all the arrests we've been making everyone's been spread kind of thin." Jane nodded her understanding, then frowned as she watched her friend squirm.

"Spit it out, Frost. Whatever it is you're trying to figure out how to say, say it."

Shaking his head at Jane's ability to read him so well he took the plunge. "I spoke to Cavanaugh today. About you." He continued nervously as the face he was looking at remained impressively impossible to read. "Like I said, we're stretched thin, and we need all the help we can get right now. Come back to BPD. There's a desk job waiting for you. Then as soon as this has all passed you can re-qualify. Please."

Jane listened impassively. She could see the hopeful look in Frost's eyes, and she felt bad that she wouldn't be giving him the answer he was hoping for. "Listen Frost, now's not a good time."

"It's the perfect time, Jane. You can't spend your life sat in a room hoping things will change. I get that your hurting, I do, but you're wasting away. Maura wouldn't want that."

Fury flashed across Jane's face for a moment, then crushing grief before settling back into its previous countenance. "I just can't, okay? I don't know if I want to go back. I'm not that person anymore."

With a look of bleak acceptance, Frost acknowledged to himself that that was probably the best he'd get from her. At least tonight. Still, ever the optimist he spoke once more. "Just think about it. The offer's there, and I can tell you now things haven't been the same since you left. Even Crowe said he missed you."

Frost smirked as Jane lifted a sceptical eyebrow. She was about to respond when her phone started to vibrate. Reaching for it she peered at the screen, not recognising the number she warily hit the answer key. "Hello?"

"Hello? Is this Jane Rizzoli?" The voice sounded familiar, but the crackle of the line, and the pounding rain made it difficult for her to really hear the person on the other end of the line.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"It's Dr. Carey." With the name came recognition. She knew this man well, had had countless conversations with him of late. Her heart pounded in fear of the unknown, and suddenly the raging storm over Boston had nothing on the whirlwind of emotions rushing through her own body. However, before panic had its chance to really take a hold of Jane the doctors voice cut through into her consciousness.

"Did you hear me Jane? I said she's awake. Maura's awake."


	30. Week 52

**A/N:** So here it finally is. The last chapter! Wooo hoooo! Thank you all for being as patient as you have. Really. Your encouragement, reviews, comments and PM's have meant so very much.

The story will remain marked as incomplete for now. I'm in the process of re-writing it. Fleshing out the chapters, correcting grammar, tweaking here and there. If you liked it first time round, perhaps you'll give it a reread when I'm done. Until then...

Thank you all again. I hope you enjoy this last part. Let me know what you think...

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><p><span><strong>Week 52<strong>

A glowing full moon shone down on the city of Boston. An air of calm lingering that hadn't been present for the longest time. It seemed that the city was returning to its normal self now that the crime wave was over. It never ceased to amaze Jane just how quickly people could bounce back and move on. She was sure in a few more weeks the crime wave would be nothing more than a distant memory.

Turning from the window, she looked over at Maura.

_Unfocused Hazel eyes blinked lazily trying to focus on the face before them._

"_Hey you." Jane's voice was uncharacteristically soft. No more than a whisper. She tightened her grip on the pale hand in hers. _

"_J…Ja." Maura tried to finish the name on her lips, to form any other words, but no sound was forthcoming. Giving up she instead she used what energy she had to take in her surroundings._

_Machines beeped and wires trailed from her body, but sat beside her was all she needed._

_Jane peered anxiously down at the barely conscious woman, refusing to take her eyes of her lest she disappear. She'd been back at the hospital a little over three hours, and Maura had been drifting in and out of consciousness since she'd arrived. This was the first time she had spoken. What little had been said was enough to make Jane's heart soar. She thought she'd never hear that voice again. Reaching for some ice chips to ease Maura's dry throat, emotion choked her own voice as a wave of overwhelming relief rushed over her. "Hey, baby. It's okay. You're okay."_

_Pressing the cup to dry lips, she leaned over and pressed her own to Maura's forehead, placing a gentle kiss there._

Dr. Karl Benton removed his stethoscope from Maura's chest. "Well, the good news, Maura, is that you're recovering, and recovering quickly. You're much better," the doctor conceded.

"And the bad news, Karl?"

"The bad news is that you got stabbed in the chest. Even the quickest recovery is going to take you time. I think it's a miracle you're still alive after what happened to you." He scowled at the memory of Maura's near-fatal stabbing. "Another half an inch and the blade would have severed your aorta."

"I'm aware." Maura smiled weakly at the man she'd dated for a short while, as she leaned against the headboard of her sickbed, propped up by two plump pillows. Her bedroom bore an uncomfortable resemblance to a hospital room, but it was a vast improvement over the intensive care unit where she'd spent the last four weeks. Painkillers and fresh dressings were stacked atop the bedside table. "I was lucky Jane was there to help me."

Standing just off to the side, Jane flinched as terrifying images of that night flashed through her mind. Doing her best to quickly shake them off, not wanting to dwell on how close she had come to losing Maura, she approached the bed.

"Yes. Lucky, indeed." The doctor looked suspiciously at Jane, as if blaming her for the injuries Maura had sustained. "Well, take it easy," he insisted turning back to Maura. He pulled the stethoscope from around his neck, placing it back in his medical bag. "It's going to be several months of serious bed rest before things start getting back to normal for you."

With a nod to indicate he was done, Maura said her goodbyes then Jane showed him to the door. "Thanks again for the house call." She said sincerely. The handsome doctor no longer provoked a jealous response from Jane. She and Maura were beyond that now. "I'll take good care of her."

Karl Benton couldn't argue the sincerity in the woman's voice, and so left with a handshake and a nod.

Returning to Maura's room, she found the restless patient sitting up at the edge of the bed. Her silk purple pyjama's standing out against her pale skin. "Whoa there!" She rushed forward, ushering the recovering woman back into her bed. "You heard what the doctor said. Bed rest. That means you stay in bed."

"But I'm already going stir-crazy." Maura protested. Her lower lip sticking out in a pout. She quickly sat up in an attempt to jump out of the bed before Jane could stop her, but winced in pain and promptly dropped backwards. "I can see now why you were such a difficult patient when you were in this situation."

"Yeah? Well try and remember that the next time I land myself in the hospital." Jane laughed lightly, but Maura didn't see the funny side, a dark look crossing her features. "Hey, I was joking. I have no plans to seriously injure myself. I promise."

"Since when do things ever go to plan for us?"

An edge was creeping into Maura's tone, one Jane didn't like hearing one bit. "Maura, I'm not going anywhere, okay? After the year I've had, I think the most dangerous thing I want to do is lie on a beach in a bikini."

Unable to help herself, a smile worked its way onto Maura's features.

"Hey!" Jane lightly prodded at the grinning woman. "Stop imagining me in a bikini right now."

Sighing happily, all signs of her darkening mood gone, Maura closed her eyes and sank back into her pillows; a little giggle escaping as a frustrated sigh escaped Jane.

"I hate you." Huffed the former detective as she seated herself on the side of the bed.

"No you don't, you love me." It was said with a lightness that the two woman would never have thought possible a mere month ago, and yet here, now, it was said with such ease that you would never have known there was ever any doubt about it.

When silence continued to follow her words, Maura peeked an eye open, a gasp escaping unbidden from her throat. Jane was looking at her with such intensity. Before a question could form, Jane leant forward and pressed her lips to Maura's.

Jane held back, not wanting to lean on the injured woman beneath her, but couldn't help pressing her body closer when she felt one of Maura's hands tangle in her hair and the other press lightly on her waist, then move possessively under her shirt and ghost across her heated skin.

Wanting fingers grasped at her, and a mumbled protest could be heard as Jane pulled back. She was dangerously close to losing herself in the moment, but Maura needed to be relaxed and calm right now.

A silent laugh escaped when she saw the disgruntled look on Maura's lovely face. "I love you."

The look that followed, Jane hoped she would see it for the rest of her life.

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><p>Laying down on her side, Maura had been half watching Jane play with a deck of cards on her bedroom floor for an hour. While her eyes were focused on the sleepy looking brunette, her mind was going in circles, trying to figure out how to broach a particularly sensitive subject. Eventually she just blurted it out. "I received a call from your mother today."<p>

Jane froze. The tower of cards she was in the process of building instantly forgotten.

Eyes wide at her outburst, Maura apprehensively continued. "We're still close, Angela and I. I never asked her to leave. She just felt… uncomfortable, I think… after we… after you… after the…"

"Shooting." Despite her voice being low, the strength with which she spoke the word spoke volumes. "After I shot your biological father. We'll never move on if we can't talk about it, Maura. So, just say it."

"After you… shot Paddy Doyle." Her eyes skittered about the room, before settling on Jane. Angela momentarily forgotten, Maura beckoned Jane over, she wanted her close. Patting the empty space on the bed beside her, she watched as the woman she loved calmly sat down on the warm, slightly rumpled sheet.

"I was angry at myself, more than anything." At Jane's look of confusion, Maura continued. "Most of the time we were apart. I was angry at myself. After you handed your badge in, I quickly realised my mistake. I never thought you'd leave me, Jane."

Lowering her head in regret, Jane tightly grasped Maura's hand. "I just couldn't stay. You wouldn't talk to me. You couldn't even look at me."

Using her free hand, Maura gently nudged Jane's chin, lifting her head so Maura could look her in the eye. She couldn't imagine a time now when she wouldn't want to look at Jane. The few hours they'd spent apart today had been filled with a longing she didn't know she was capable of. "I have few regrets, Jane. However, my behaviour after the shooting will be something I'll regret for the rest of my life. I almost lost you forever."

Taking a deep breath, Jane brought Maura's hand closer, pressing a gentle kiss to her palm. "I shouldn't have given up so quickly-"

"It wa-" Jane pressed a finger to Maura's lips. "Uh uh. It's my turn. Shh."

Glaring playfully, the recovering woman indicated she would remain silent.

Glaring right back, Jane remained quiet for little bit before huffing loudly. "Well, now I've forgotten what I was going to say." Maura grinned, about to speak up, then thought better of it when she saw the regret in Jane's eyes. "Walking away from you was never a choice I should have made… I can only claim temporary insanity."

Maura laughed quietly. Thankful that she could laugh at all while talking about this.

Teary eyed, both women looked at one another. "We're good though, right? We're okay?"

"Oh, Jane. We're more than okay."

Sniffling, Jane brushed a handed quickly across her eyes, then kicked her shoes off. Jumping up, she moved round the bed, then lifted the covers and crawled in behind Maura. Wrapping an arm around her, she pushed in close behind her. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

Maura only smiled, and wriggled as well as she could backwards. The closer she was to Jane, the better. The smile turned into a grin as she felt Jane press a kiss to her shoulder, then her neck; sighed contentedly as she felt Jane's breath wash across her cheek, another kiss pressed in just behind her ear. She briefly considered abandoning all conversation in favour of much more physical activities, the idea of getting to explore Jane's body or Jane discovering hers making her feel like their broken bodies would be more than up for the challenge. Being a doctor though, she knew that wasn't the case. She was about to speak up; ask Jane to stop her delicious torment before she threw good sense out the window, but Jane beat her too it. Her low rumbling voice sounded in her ear. "So you were saying something about ma?"

Taking a deep breath, Maura grasped the arm around her waist a little tighter, eyes fixed on the now fallen tower of cards. "I spoke to her. She asked about you. We speak about a lot of things, but she always asks after you. I told her you were staying with me." Pausing for a moment, Maura waited. Jane said nothing, but she could feel that the body behind her was no longer relaxed. "I won't push you to reconcile." The tension in the body behind her lessened. "But I will ask you to consider it. If we can move past what we have, you and your mother can do the same." Still Jane said nothing. "I know she said some terrible things. You as well. She just wants a chance, Jane. She just doesn't know how to ask for it.

"I explained a little of what you've been though. Nothing too specific. That's your story to tell. I just felt like she should know you've been through some harrowing times, and yet, despite all the adversity, you've overcome it all… Jane?"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes, okay. I'll speak to her. I'm not promising anything though."

Maura's grin could have outshone the sun. "That's all I ask."

* * *

><p>Standing in the middle of the cemetery, Jane took in her surroundings. The sun was just about to come up, and she could hear a nearby nest of birds whistling away. She was happy with the spot she'd chosen. A freshly placed sturdy shining marble headstone sat at the top of a high grassy slope. There were a few other headstones scattered nearby, by it was a relatively uncluttered area. A large willow tree nearby would lend some nice shade to the area which would look beautiful come summer.<p>

Crouching down, Jane lightly brushed her fingers over James' name. "Hello, my friend."

Wearing his trench coat and fedora, Jane felt as if her dear friend was nearby, just out of reach. "This place doesn't open for another few hours. I climbed a damn fence to come watch the sun rise with you. I loved that. Those mornings in Nanda Parbat, the sun striking the mountain. I'm not sure if I ever told you. You probably knew. You knew me better than anyone." An image of Maura curled around her that morning sprung to the forefront of her mind. "Well, almost anyone. I think you might have some competition from Maura there."

Seating herself against the headstone, she ran her fingers through the morning damp grass. He wasn't here, his body at least. That was on the other side of the world. She hoped wherever he was, that he was with his beloved Emma and Jess now. She hoped he could hear her. Could hear how often she thought of him. "I miss you. There's no one around to give me shit anymore." Laughing to herself, a lightness filled her. Things were finally settling down.

"It's time for me to make a decision, James. Archie called. He's here. Him and Henry. They said they have things to discuss. I'm pretty sure that discussion is them giving me the ins and outs of taking over from you. Looks like I'm finally going to be let in on some of your secrets.

Intergang's still out there, as well as Nikolas. Someone needs to stop them.

"Of course, that's only if I close the book on BPD. Can I do that? It's been a year and a half since everything fell apart. A year since you walked into my life, turned everything upside down, then righted it.

"Could I do it? Should I do it? Go back?"

Jane sat in silence. Her eyes closed as the rising sun warmed her face. She sat there, just thinking, the sun slowly moving across the sky. As the sun moved from east to west, the rays hitting Jane's fedora cast a shadow that slowly moved across her face, masking her from those who walked through the now open cemetery.

Looking at her watch, she realised it was time.

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><p>Parking Maura's car down a safe looking side street, Jane walked casually down the street. People were bustling about, rushing to get their lunches and enjoy their hour break from their daily 9 to 5. She'd made her decision. It wasn't really hard in the end.<p>

Looking up to her right at the building before her, Jane smiled at all the good times she had experienced inside. Remembered how those within and what it represented had shaped her. Boston Police Department. It had been everything.

Just across the street, sat in a sandwich shop were Archie and Henry waiting patiently.

A vibration in her pocket woke Jane from her thoughts. Pulling her phone out, she saw Maura smiling back at her. Pressing the answer button, Jane's grin could be heard as she spoke.

"Hey."

"Hi, I missed waking up with you this morning."

A light blush coloured Jane's cheeks. "If it helps any. It was hard to leave you there."

The two women, far apart in the city, smiled to one another.

"What time can I expect you home?"

Jane loved to hear Maura say her home was theirs almost as much as Maura loved saying it. "It's going to be a little while yet. I have a few things I need to do here first." She paused. Wondering if her decision was something Maura would be proud of. "I made my choice."

"Well?" Maura's tone was questioning, but not overly so.

"Does it matter?" The nervous undercurrent could be heard if you knew Jane well enough. Lucky for her, Maura did.

"No. As long as you come home to me. Continue to love me. That's all that matters."

Grinning, Jane answered Maura's question, then stepped towards her future.


End file.
